I want to ask out a waitress at my favorite place , yet .....

May 4, 2016

It's so interesting to see how guys and girls think of this situation very differently .
looks like I felt giddy and hopeful for nothing , it was just a well delivered brush-off .

I like to be positive, but in the same sense she could be already seeing someone, so positive for her is being with someone she loves already. Just because you feel this way about her, doesn't mean she feels the same. Just because you're single, doesn't mean she is. The fact is, you met this girl, you took a fancy to her, you came on here worried about asking her out, you did it and now it's up to her. As I keep saying, if she doesn't take you up on the offer, then so be it. Take the positive out of this that you asked a girl out. At the very least, she'll be flattered (we all do when someone shows an interest). You showed confidence and did what you wanted to do. As far as I'm concerned, there is no negatives here, only a bonus should she get in touch.

May 4, 2016

I like to be positive, but in the same sense she could be already seeing someone, so positive for her is being with someone she loves already. Just because you feel this way about her, doesn't mean she feels the same. Just because you're single, doesn't mean she is. The fact is, you met this girl, you took a fancy to her, you came on here worried about asking her out, you did it and now it's up to her. As I keep saying, if she doesn't take you up on the offer, then so be it. Take the positive out of this that you asked a girl out. At the very least, she'll be flattered (we all do when someone shows an interest). You showed confidence and did what you wanted to do. As far as I'm concerned, there is no negatives here, only a bonus should she get in touch.

Again Smudge , you show wisdom in all of your replies. But admittedly I am demoralized, I should have asked for her number instead of giving her mine , I wanted to throw the ball in her court but now , it's past 24 hrs so the whole thing is most likely a bust .

It's hard for me to like someone to the point where I'd ask her out .

I appreciate your comments as well as others , it was a beautiful thing but it was not a success , now it's time for me to move on

I am relatively new here but from what I got based on threads here , women prefer an experienced guy , a player.

Nice guys finish last , it has always been the case

Maybe honestly is boring for women , anyhow.

It's not like I am the only one , as you said , 7 billion people in the world , I am sure many guys got a no on the same day I got one , dressed as a " maybe"

May 4, 2016

Don't give up just yet. Understand, especially if she's shy you simply made a tactical error. It's generally a bad idea to give a woman your # without getting hers. Since you didn't ask you don't know if she would have given it to you. Take one more shot where you ask for her number. Even make it so you can talk to her outside of work & get to know her better if you suspect that she is hesitant because she doesn't know you.

May 4, 2016

Your negative views will never ever help you in life. You started this thread wanting to ask her out... which you did. Job done. Why can't you see that as a win? Yes maybe asking for her number would've put you more in control, but who's to say she'd have given you it. Then where would you be? Right back here being all Mr Negative again.

24 hours is nothing - only Jack Bauer can save the world in that amount of time (without ever eating or going for a s**t). One day is nothing in the dating game - some people go days or weeks without much contact and things build slowly. Others go full speed, but we're all different.

Oh and you can only get experience by doing things like what you recently did. So as I said, take it as a positive learning experience. Plus I don't get where you have this idea that ALL girls prefer a player... I reckon there's many on here who would argue against that one. You can never know what a girls type is, until you know. With this girl you took a chance and you need to take a serious chill pill. If she does contact you, you'll be a nervous wreck. Go live your life - don't wait around. Nice things happen when we least expect them to.

May 4, 2016

Don't give up just yet. Understand, especially if she's shy you simply made a tactical error. It's generally a bad idea to give a woman your # without getting hers. Since you didn't ask you don't know if she would have given it to you. Take one more shot where you ask for her number. Even make it so you can talk to her outside of work & get to know her better if you suspect that she is hesitant because she doesn't know you.

I'd like another , and a final go at it .

The reason is not that I am desperate or anything, it's just that I like her alot

And I just want a chance at dating her .

I am gonna go there soon , I am not afraid anymore ,

May 4, 2016

Your negative views will never ever help you in life. You started this thread wanting to ask her out... which you did. Job done. Why can't you see that as a win? Yes maybe asking for her number would've put you more in control, but who's to say she'd have given you it. Then where would you be? Right back here being all Mr Negative again.

24 hours is nothing - only Jack Bauer can save the world in that amount of time (without ever eating or going for a s**t). One day is nothing in the dating game - some people go days or weeks without much contact and things build slowly. Others go full speed, but we're all different.

Oh and you can only get experience by doing things like what you recently did. So as I said, take it as a positive learning experience. Plus I don't get where you have this idea that ALL girls prefer a player... I reckon there's many on here who would argue against that one. You can never know what a girls type is, until you know. With this girl you took a chance and you need to take a serious chill pill. If she does contact you, you'll be a nervous wreck. Go live your life - don't wait around. Nice things happen when we least expect them to.

Idk , am I being negative? Or realistic . I just don't wanna wait for a day that never comes . I have to admit that I drove like a maniac today with a f@&kin frown on my face .

As I said before , I will be there again this weekend and I will see whats what .

If she waits my table I will throw it out there and tell her that this time she must give me her number , if she'd say no then there is my answer, if she would give it to me , I will do everything in my power to make her happy .

- nice reference to 24 , I watched all season and I wondered why he doesn't eat or sleep ..

May 4, 2016

hat .
If she waits my table I will throw it out there and tell her that this time she must give me her number

Do not do this. It would be controlling and creepy.

May 4, 2016

Do not do this. It would be controlling and creepy.

So thats it ? I should give up?

May 4, 2016

Just say Hey I thought you were gonna call me. Can I have your #? I'd like to get to know you better.

Be assertive not demanding.

May 4, 2016

So thats it ? I should give up?

You could wait or ask her out one more time in a week or so in a much nicer way than telling her she must give you her number.

If she is not interested (doesn't call you) then yes you give up and move on.

May 4, 2016

You could wait or ask her out one more time in a week or so in a much nicer way than telling her she must give you her number.

If she is not interested (doesn't call you) then yes you give up and move on.

Offcourse I would ask in a nice way.Again, I really like her ....

I would definitely ask her out again

May 4, 2016

I wouldn't ask her again. You've made your interest clear, and she knows how to contact you. I hate to be blunt, but if she really wants to hear from you, she wouldn't need to be asked twice. If you keep pursuing it, she's going to get creeped out.

May 4, 2016

Offcourse I would ask in a nice way.Again, I really like her ....
I would definitely ask her out again

Honestly, your one ask should be enough.

Wait to see if she calls or text you.

May 4, 2016

I am not the most confident guy , certainly when the moment is right I can be as confident as they come even if it was tricky at times .

confidence means nothing it if it achieves no goal ,
a rejection is a rejection , it's a very cruel part of every man's life , especially the average joe

I don't know if I agree with that, OP. Confidence, especially for someone who doesn't have a lot of it, is a goal unto itself. Confidence breeds confidence, and if you can even have an experience where, okay, maybe you don't get the date, but you get to feel that rejection isn't the end of the world, then I think it makes doing it again easier.

A couple of months ago, I met a guy in a bar. He got my number, and proceeded to text me for a week and a half, without ever asking me out. I liked him though, and suggested going out more than once. We eventually did see each other, and that night his friend put me in the position of having to pretty blatantly say I was interested.

It was as high a wire as I've ever been on, vulnerability-wise, but it was exhilarating. I remember thinking, "eff it, I don't care if he knows and doesn't feel the same way, I deserve to have wants and to feel desires." In the end, he wasn't interested, but I didn't lose confidence by stating what I wanted. I gained it. It makes the notion of being that bold less intimidating. Because yeah, he wasn't interested, but I didn't die and I wasn't crushed. I'm fine.

May 4, 2016

I wouldn't ask her again. You've made your interest clear, and she knows how to contact you. I hate to be blunt, but if she really wants to hear from you, she wouldn't need to be asked twice. If you keep pursuing it, she's going to get creeped out.

Don't apologize for being blunt , I come here not to hear attaboys ,

I appreciate that , but maybe she needs alittle more move on my part

I am sorry for sounding like a desperate *******

But I really wanted this thing to work

May 4, 2016

Don't apologize for being blunt , I come here not to hear attaboys ,
I appreciate that , but maybe she needs alittle more move on my part

I am sorry for sounding like a desperate *******
But I really wanted this thing to work

You know what OP.

You could:

A. Leave it as it is and see if she calls you and in the meantime act just the way you always do with her.

or

B. Ask her out again, therefore putting her on the spot - in a place where she works and if she doesn't feel it you will always be the guy whom she avoids if she can because she feels bad that she isn't attracted.

If she hasn't called because it's a rejection then well done you for going for it!

There no shame in going for it.unless you over do it and carry on when you should stop.

I know

May 4, 2016

I agree w donnivain pretty much. The thing is, you really don't know if her "maybe" was a polite way of saying she's not interested (quite possible especially because she'll likely have to see you again as a customer at her place of employment), or if she is unsure, shy, coy...(quite possible too). That you don't have her number and didn't ask makes this an especially tough call.

I also say go back in maybe 3 or 4 days from when you asked (give her *some* time to think of it) and do as donnivain suggested. She may actually be more receptive to saying yes when you ask again because the idea was marinating in her head (even if she doesn't contact you in the meanwhile). If she hems, haws, or looks uncomfortable then at least you got an answer that she isn't interested.

Edited May 4, 2016 by Imajerk17

May 4, 2016

You know what OP.
You could:
A. Leave it as it is and see if she calls you and in the meantime act just the way you always do with her.
or
B. Ask her out again, therefore putting her on the spot - in a place where she works and if she doesn't feel it you will always be the guy whom she avoids if she can because she feels bad that she isn't attracted.

If she hasn't called because it's a rejection then well done you for going for it!
There no shame in going for it.unless you over do it and carry on when you should stop.
I know

I would go with B , what is the worst that could happen? At least , I will get an answer .

I want to date her so much and if that means swallowing my pride for a bit , I would do it

May 4, 2016

Again, I can't speak for her, but if it were me, I'd be throughly creeped out that you seem to not be able to take a hint.

She's in a profession where she's paid to be pleasant and chatty, maybe even flirty. Her livelihood (in the form of tips) depends on it. Of course she's not going to turn a regular down outright.

I'd recommend reading this article, particularly the "Bonus Page" section toward the end, regarding how women in service professions are rarely, rarely interested in their patrons beyond a business transaction.

Does She Like You?

May 5, 2016

Again, I can't speak for her, but if it were me, I'd be throughly creeped out that you seem to not be able to take a hint.

She's in a profession where she's paid to be pleasant and chatty, maybe even flirty. Her livelihood (in the form of tips) depends on it. Of course she's not going to turn a regular down outright.

I'd recommend reading this article, particularly the "Bonus Page" section toward the end, regarding how women in service professions are rarely, rarely interested in their patrons beyond a business transaction.

Does She Like You?

Interesting, well , it is what it is .

It felt like she was cool with it, but now , its just way to late for her to contact me.

Gut feeling tells me that my number is crumpled in some trash bin somewhere

May 5, 2016

There is a lesson to be learned from all of this ,

That " maybe " always means " no"

May 5, 2016

Sorry man but your attitude towards this is now verging on desperate with a hint of scary and a dash of stalking. You gave her your number and now are expecting her to react instantly to it. You like her, so she should like you. She hasn't contacted straight away so she must not like you back. Where does this thinking come from? Why the desperate rush to finalize this deal? You seriously need to step back and understand that as much as you like this girl, you do not know her at all. You have no idea what is happening in her life. Just because you're now spending your life staring at your phone wishing it would ring, doesn't mean she's spending her life thinking about contacting you. You're building this up so much that soon it will consume you and you will become addicted to this girl. I bet you've even already slapped her up on a pedestal. Tell me, is the fact that she hasn't contacted you hurt the image you have of her? You clearly expected her to instantly contact you, so in your mind that's the person you created. Seriously mate, step back and go live your life. Leave her to decide what to do and in the meantime, shop around. The last thing you want to do is let this eat you up to the point where you make a fool of yourself in her restaurant, in public, and then have to live with the fact you took it too far. Yeah maybe she isn't interested, so there you go. At least you tried. Calm the flip down before you do something you'll really regret.

May 5, 2016

There is a lesson to be learned from all of this ,
That " maybe " always means " no"

NO that is not true, but it can do, it all depends on the context.

If two people are genuinely attracted and know each other fairly well, then "maybe" can be a game set up between them, he knows she means "Yes" and she knows she means "Yes".

Even in a setting like work or at a party or an event where there is an opportunity to give a flirtatious "maybe" and later on say "yes", that can work too. Anywhere where there are multiple opportunities to qualify the flirty "maybe" with a "yes" later, is fine.

BUT a "maybe" after a cold approach on a service worker, is most likely a no, as she doesn't know if she will ever see you again, so if she is interested she will not want to give you the opportunity to slip away, so will say "Yes" right away. She may even want to finalise details in case you go off and ask someone else out instead.

deadparrot is right too, service workers do not tend to see customers and clients as dating material because they know how messy that can get, so tend to steer clear. They get paid to be interested, nice and friendly.

YOU don't appear to even know if this girl is single, that is something you need to make certain of first, before you do any asking.

Asking attached people out on dates is going to lower your success rate significantly OR get you into all sorts of trouble with irate bfs and husbands or mess with your head if she is a cake eater.

May 5, 2016

Don't ask for her number.

When you go to her restaurant (and please, give it some time), just be polite and friendly as you would as a normal customer.

Don't let it be awkward, and don't act like your ego is bruised. Convey the attitude (without words) of "shrug, you didn't get back to me, ok, moving on!"

I promise she would respect that confidence. And in fact, if she's ever going to be interested in you, this would be the only way to encourage it.

May 5, 2016

Sorry man but your attitude towards this is now verging on desperate with a hint of scary and a dash of stalking. You gave her your number and now are expecting her to react instantly to it. You like her, so she should like you. She hasn't contacted straight away so she must not like you back. Where does this thinking come from? Why the desperate rush to finalize this deal? You seriously need to step back and understand that as much as you like this girl, you do not know her at all. You have no idea what is happening in her life. Just because you're now spending your life staring at your phone wishing it would ring, doesn't mean she's spending her life thinking about contacting you. You're building this up so much that soon it will consume you and you will become addicted to this girl. I bet you've even already slapped her up on a pedestal. Tell me, is the fact that she hasn't contacted you hurt the image you have of her? You clearly expected her to instantly contact you, so in your mind that's the person you created. Seriously mate, step back and go live your life. Leave her to decide what to do and in the meantime, shop around. The last thing you want to do is let this eat you up to the point where you make a fool of yourself in her restaurant, in public, and then have to live with the fact you took it too far. Yeah maybe she isn't interested, so there you go. At least you tried. Calm the flip down before you do something you'll really regret.

Thank you Smudge , I do realize that now .

The reason why I want this to work is because I liked her for sometime now

And finally asked her out .

Putting her on a pedestal? Not really and I won't change the way I look at her now that she isn't interested or even if she changed her mind, you're right , I don't know her .

I will take your advice and go there in a couple of days and be cool about it , I might hint at what happened but it's better to just be cool about it

Her not contacting me didn't hurt whatever image I might have ,it stings a bit ( I won't deny that ) but after all it's her choice and I have to respect it .

I won't flip out in there , and again , I appreciate your advice and will take it

Thank you and sorry for being a bit laconic, typing from my iPhone is a bit of a pain :/

Sign In

I want to ask out a waitress at my favorite place , yet .....

Recommended Posts

smudge21

Audacious

d0nnivain

smudge21

Audacious

Audacious

GemmaUK

Audacious

d0nnivain

GemmaUK

Audacious

deadparrot

GemmaUK

losangelena

Audacious

GemmaUK

Imajerk17

Audacious

deadparrot

Audacious

Audacious

smudge21

elaine567

Standard-Fare

Audacious

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...