I want to ask out a waitress at my favorite place , yet .....

May 4, 2016

I am thinking of not going there for 1-2 weeks then just show up , It wasn't thinking of asking her number, I wanted to let her decide and throw the ball in her court .
It hasn't been 24 hrs yet , but I am gradually losing hope , had she been really interested she would have texted me asking about how my meal was or something , anything but no-contact ? I don't think so,
I think the whole thing tanked and I misread her .

whats a realistic timetable to get a response from her before finally letting go of the whole thing ?

I had to wait a year to find out what happened to Jon Snow, so you can flippin' wait more than 24 hours for this girl to get in touch!

Relax, get on with your life. You made your move, you told her you like her and wanted to take her out. The hard parts done, so now you just need to let things unfold on their own accord. For all you know, she's as nervous as you and unsure what to do. Probably discussing you with her friends, who are probably giving her all sorts of advice. The fact is, you don't know, so stop over thinking it. You'll drive yourself insane and end up stalking her.

If you go there quite often then I wouldn't change that. You want to show that you have a busy life and want her to be a part of it, not that you have no life and need her to start one with. If she avoids you whilst there, well there you go. If she's as friendly as ever, then be the same... but DO NOT chase her on why she hasn't made contact. As I keep saying, you've done the ground work, now it's up to her.

There is no realistic timescale for something like this. Human beings are random at best and you can't judge the actions of one an another. Just because you expect a response within a certain time, doesn't mean she thinks the same way. She may have a hectic lifestyle, may have come out of a bad relationship, may have a kid, may be learning the guitar... you don't know. So take a chill pill and carry on with your life... see what happens.

May 4, 2016

I am thinking of not going there for 1-2 weeks then just show up , It wasn't thinking of asking her number, I wanted to let her decide and throw the ball in her court .
It hasn't been 24 hrs yet , but I am gradually losing hope , had she been really interested she would have texted me asking about how my meal was or something , anything but no-contact ? I don't think so,
I think the whole thing tanked and I misread her .

whats a realistic timetable to get a response from her before finally letting go of the whole thing ?

ya, maybe she's not interested. to soon to tell. i would go back just as often as before.

when i was single i would take a guy's number just so he wouldn't have mine, i would give him a fake number, like dial a prayer, if he pushed it.

now days, if you want someone to have your number you just call them while they are standing there giving you their number then you both just save it. don't ya all have facebook and twitter for this kind of thing?

there is no time table when the ball is in the other court.

i would not bring it up with her, i'd rather die than let someone know i give a **** whether they got my number and never used it.

be blase and above it.

go there and drink your coffee, act like nothing happened because so far nothing has.

now that you have mastered the "asking her out" move, keep working on other "moves". like "scoring a date and closing the deal".

a word to the wise, these moves come after you investigate whether the person is actually single.

good luck

May 4, 2016

I had to wait a year to find out what happened to Jon Snow, so you can flippin' wait more than 24 hours for this girl to get in touch!

Relax, get on with your life. You made your move, you told her you like her and wanted to take her out. The hard parts done, so now you just need to let things unfold on their own accord. For all you know, she's as nervous as you and unsure what to do. Probably discussing you with her friends, who are probably giving her all sorts of advice. The fact is, you don't know, so stop over thinking it. You'll drive yourself insane and end up stalking her.

If you go there quite often then I wouldn't change that. You want to show that you have a busy life and want her to be a part of it, not that you have no life and need her to start one with. If she avoids you whilst there, well there you go. If she's as friendly as ever, then be the same... but DO NOT chase her on why she hasn't made contact. As I keep saying, you've done the ground work, now it's up to her.

There is no realistic timescale for something like this. Human beings are random at best and you can't judge the actions of one an another. Just because you expect a response within a certain time, doesn't mean she thinks the same way. She may have a hectic lifestyle, may have come out of a bad relationship, may have a kid, may be learning the guitar... you don't know. So take a chill pill and carry on with your life... see what happens.

Yeah , I know I am rushing things a bit , its' because I like her alot for some time and I am genuinely interested in her so .

Human beings are random at best

^ I couldn't agree more on that .

I will wait and see .

I am afraid that she is the shy type and it would be hard for her to make contact.

---------------------------------------

Apropos to the topic : I am a big GOT fan , I expected the fate of Jon Snow exactly the way it did happen in the last episode

Edited May 4, 2016 by Audacious
misspelling

May 4, 2016

ya, maybe she's not interested. to soon to tell. i would go back just as often as before.

when i was single i would take a guy's number just so he wouldn't have mine, i would give him a fake number, like dial a prayer, if he pushed it.

now days, if you want someone to have your number you just call them while they are standing there giving you their number then you both just save it. don't ya all have facebook and twitter for this kind of thing?

there is no time table when the ball is in the other court.

i would not bring it up with her, i'd rather die than let someone know i give a **** whether they got my number and never used it.

be blase and above it.

go there and drink your coffee, act like nothing happened because so far nothing has.

now that you have mastered the "asking her out" move, keep working on other "moves". like "scoring a date and closing the deal".

a word to the wise, these moves come after you investigate whether the person is actually single.

good luck

believe me someone as meticulous as I am would have read that on her face even if didn't say no .

now days, if you want someone to have your number you just call them while they are standing there giving you their number then you both just save it. don't ya all have facebook and twitter for this kind of thing?

that won't work with semi-perfect strangers , it would be socially disastrous. even with modern technology , we're still human beings without reservations and knee jerk reaction .

now that you have mastered the "asking her out" move, keep working on other "moves". like "scoring a date and closing the deal".

"mastered " would not be my choice of words, I have no interest in becoming a professional dater or ask-outer , I only ask a person that I genuinely like .

go there and drink your coffee, act like nothing happened because so far nothing has.

I might do just that in two weeks or so

May 4, 2016

I am afraid that she is the shy type and it would be hard for her to make contact.

Then maybe the next time you eat at her place, she'll quietly mention something and then that will be the time to say "well how about I call you?". If you haven't heard anything in a week, then go back with some friends, have a good time, see how she is around you. All you can do really.

Oh and I was expecting his body to be cremated... afterall, R + L = J.

May 4, 2016

I am thinking of not going there for 1-2 weeks then just show up , It wasn't thinking of asking her number, I wanted to let her decide and throw the ball in her court .

Follow what smudge21 said. Act normal. Don't change anything about things you do. You are a regular patron so maintain the frequency. It is safe to assume that all other waiters/waitresses now know that you have asked her out. If you stop going, things would look bad and you would portray a mean figure. Even if she doesn't reply anything or says no, who knows what holds in future.

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .

What happened after she took your order?? Did she check on you after that during your meal??? Things happened at the end - check, tip etc etc ???

whats a realistic timetable to get a response from her before finally letting go of the whole thing ?

Sadly there is no timeframe. Like smudge21 suggested move on with your life. Ball now in her court.

May 4, 2016

Follow what smudge21 said. Act normal. Don't change anything about things you do. You are a regular patron so maintain the frequency. It is safe to assume that all other waiters/waitresses now know that you have asked her out. If you stop going, things would look bad and you would portray a mean figure. Even if she doesn't reply anything or says no, who knows what holds in future.

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .

What happened after she took your order?? Did she check on you after that during your meal??? Things happened at the end - check, tip etc etc ???

Sadly there is no timeframe. Like smudge21 suggested move on with your life. Ball now in her court.

I think she was on her break or something because she was not on the floor with the rest of them before I came , No she didn't check on be , I left shortly afterwards , didn't wanna linger around .

Tipped as usual , check was handled by another waitress

May 4, 2016

It was good that you handled it directly and initially felt confident in your approach.

Sadly her "maybe" was an equivocal response. It has been my experience -- which is by no means universal -- that women who say maybe really mean no but they are too wishy-washy to hurt somebody's feelings by being forthright. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong & she's just shy, young, inexperienced or genuinely confused.

Especially if you think she's shy, giving her your # & expecting her to call was a miscalculation on your part. Shy girls never call guys; it's just not in their DNA; they aren't capable of picking up the phone.

Your plan to not go there for 1-2 weeks seems overly dramatic & feeds into exactly what I warned you about -- things being weird. Stick to your normal pattern of how often you go there. The next time you see her, put her on the spot & ask her why she didn't call you. You are entitled to a straight answer. Still you have to be cool .. . no showing that her lack of response bothered you. There's a fine line here between assertive & desperate.

May 4, 2016

It was good that you handled it directly and initially felt confident in your approach.

Sadly her "maybe" was an equivocal response. It has been my experience -- which is by no means universal -- that women who say maybe really mean no but they are too wishy-washy to hurt somebody's feelings by being forthright. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong & she's just shy, young, inexperienced or genuinely confused.

Especially if you think she's shy, giving her your # & expecting her to call was a miscalculation on your part. Shy girls never call guys; it's just not in their DNA; they aren't capable of picking up the phone.

Your plan to not go there for 1-2 weeks seems overly dramatic & feeds into exactly what I warned you about -- things being weird. Stick to your normal pattern of how often you go there. The next time you see her, put her on the spot & ask her why she didn't call you. You are entitled to a straight answer. Still you have to be cool .. . no showing that her lack of response bothered you. There's a fine line here between assertive & desperate.

well , I can't go today , maybe in two or three days if 1 week is too much , I've a long weekend this week ,so I might just drop by .

she didn't have to call , I said that she can text me , I mean how shy could she possibly be that she cannot text .

I am really not desperate , I am just very selective and pursue only someone that I actually like , I just do not want to lose this one .

do you think that going there and causally ask her for her own number this time will clear everything out ?

May 4, 2016

well , I can't go today , maybe in two or three days if 1 week is too much , I've a long weekend this week ,so I might just drop by .
she didn't have to call , I said that she can text me , I mean how shy could she possibly be that she cannot text .

I am really not desperate , I am just very selective and pursue only someone that I actually like , I just do not want to lose this one .

do you think that going there and causally ask her for her own number this time will clear everything out ?

Whatever your pattern, stick to it but skipping today is probably a good idea. Let her settle down.

Calling, texting, sending an e-mail or friend request . . . doesn't matter. My point is that "shy" women do not initiate. Heck, if it wasn't her job to greet the customer she may never even say hi first.

When you go back you have two options:

1. Cool & aloof. Act like it never happened & let her wonder. I don't think she's the type to chase so this will only work if you want to go on as if the ask is forgotten & you will never again bring it up.

2. Talk to her. Express disappointment that she didn't call but press for her number. I mean guilt her into feeling bad about blowing you off.

Part of me thinks she may be the type that needs you to "prove" that you like her by chasing her. Personally I hate that but some women need that reassurance that they made the guy work for the date by forcing him to ask more than once. It's a very delicate balance because if she's really not interested but too wishy washy to be direct about it you run the risk of turning into creepy stalker guy

May 4, 2016

Whatever your pattern, stick to it but skipping today is probably a good idea. Let her settle down.

Calling, texting, sending an e-mail or friend request . . . doesn't matter. My point is that "shy" women do not initiate. Heck, if it wasn't her job to greet the customer she may never even say hi first.

When you go back you have two options:

1. Cool & aloof. Act like it never happened & let her wonder. I don't think she's the type to chase so this will only work if you want to go on as if the ask is forgotten & you will never again bring it up.

2. Talk to her. Express disappointment that she didn't call but press for her number. I mean guilt her into feeling bad about blowing you off.

Part of me thinks she may be the type that needs you to "prove" that you like her by chasing her. Personally I hate that but some women need that reassurance that they made the guy work for the date by forcing him to ask more than once. It's a very delicate balance because if she's really not interested but too wishy washy to be direct about it you run the risk of turning into creepy stalker guy

I think I am gonna ask for her number next time , since she didn't contact me , ( assuming that she won't do that later ) . I have no problem asking her again, I like her so much so she deserve an extra effort on my part .

If she isn't interested I'll know by then , and should let go and move on

May 4, 2016

so here is what happened , I went there .
sat down , and she was not there ......
so I asked about her and they told me she is here ,

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .
I got a vibe that she wanted to say yes but was too shy to say it directly , but I don't know ... I was smiling all the way home ,

It was just a beautiful moment ... thats how I felt .
but I didn't receive a call , or a text or anything .
so now I am becoming uncertain , was it a very eloquent and polite "No"that I didn't get ?
or should I just be patient now ....

Í like that girl so much , and I am willing to do whatever it takes to date her ,

I think "maybe" means "no," but she just didn't want to turn you down to your face. I've done it many times. Sorry. You've asked once and she knows you are interested. I don't think you should bother her any more about this.

May 4, 2016

I think "maybe" means "no," but she just didn't want to turn you down to your face. I've done it many times. Sorry. You've asked once and she knows you are interested. I don't think you should bother her any more about this.

I disagree. I also think that if a woman means no she is obligated to say that. When she says BS like "maybe" the guy has every right to believe her that he has a chance & is allowed to ask again. If she doesn't want to be bothered, she needs to be more direct & say what she means.

I think silly little girls who say maybe or some other equivocal response actually like the attention of jerking some guy around & making him chase her.

May 4, 2016

I think "maybe" means "no," but she just didn't want to turn you down to your face. I've done it many times. Sorry. You've asked once and she knows you are interested. I don't think you should bother her any more about this.

More time passes by and less hopeful I get ,

anyways ,I did my best , I don't see any other way that I could have done it differently .

I might drop a subtle hint about it , since , and this is by no means wishful thinking on my part , I don't think she meant no , a maybe could means simply that or its a maybe yes , nobody knows , time will tell .

If I was in her shoes and was interested in a guy who made his move and gave me his number , I might weight for 2 days and text him , otherwise I'd say I am sorry but no , to his face .

I personally believe that a non-direct answer is even more harmful and damaging than a "no"

there is nothing crueler than a rejection garbed as a false hope .

seriously , it's a yea or nae ...it's really that simple .

May 4, 2016

I disagree. I also think that if a woman means no she is obligated to say that. When she says BS like "maybe" the guy has every right to believe her that he has a chance & is allowed to ask again. If she doesn't want to be bothered, she needs to be more direct & say what she means.

I think silly little girls who say maybe or some other equivocal response actually like the attention of jerking some guy around & making him chase her.

Huh. So you every time in your life you always said "no" straight to a man's face when you weren't interested in a date with him and he asked you out? You've never just tried to shrug it off with a "maybe" ever in your entire life? Some women don't like to deal with the uncomfortableness that arises when a man asks you out and you say "no." It's awkward and the guy usually feels humiliated. It's easier to say "maybe" and hope he gets the hint when you never follow up. But "maybe" isn't "yes," so frankly it's still "no." I think most of the time it's not about jerking the guy around. It's just easier. This is doubly so when this guy is a regular customer at her workplace.

By all means he can ask her again...but my opinion is that it won't get him anywhere. She has his number. If she was interested, she'd contact him.

May 4, 2016

IME, people who want to go on dates just say yes and go on dates, as they do not want to miss the chance of dating someone they really like, by being unclear.

People who play games aren't really that fussed whether they go on the date or not.

She said "maybe" which was luke-warm at best, then she disappeared and wasn't even around when he left.

I guess it's a no. Sorry!

May 4, 2016

Huh. So you every time in your life you always said "no" straight to a man's face when you weren't interested in a date with him and he asked you out? You've never just tried to shrug it off with a "maybe" ever in your entire life? Some women don't like to deal with the uncomfortableness that arises when a man asks you out and you say "no." It's awkward and the guy usually feels humiliated. It's easier to say "maybe" and hope he gets the hint when you never follow up. But "maybe" isn't "yes," so frankly it's still "no." I think most of the time it's not about jerking the guy around. It's just easier. This is doubly so when this guy is a regular customer at her workplace.

By all means he can ask her again...but my opinion is that it won't get him anywhere. She has his number. If she was interested, she'd contact him.

So far , I agree with you on stuff while disagree on the rest .

It could very well be a NO and I am not in denial about it , It's a 50-50 chance of going either way . I just don't want to look back and think perhaps I should have taken one more step .

what I vehemently disagree with you on , is the whole being easy on the guy . when a guys goes out of his comfort zone , a little honestly is really appreciated , I mean after all that is what women seek in a man . why don't extent him the same courtesy

May 4, 2016

IME, people who want to go on dates just say yes and go on dates, as they do not want to miss the chance of dating someone they really like, by being unclear.

People who play games aren't really that fussed whether they go on the date or not.
She said "maybe" which was luke-warm at best, then she disappeared and wasn't even around when he left.
I guess it's a no. Sorry!

it could very well be that . after 24 hrs , chances are she is never going to call or text , which hurts, but it is what it is , it's not meant to be .

I should have made it , a take it or leave on the call , shouldn't have settled for a "maybe" ......albeit a very positive maybe

May 4, 2016

It's so interesting to see how guys and girls think of this situation very differently .

looks like I felt giddy and hopeful for nothing , it was just a well delivered brush-off .

May 4, 2016

Just give it a chance. You asked. (That was the hard part but you did it)

You`ll know soon enough. Don`t stop going there though. Be yourself.

Now you know you have the confidence to ask out a girl. Go forward from there.

May 4, 2016

Just give it a chance. You asked. (That was the hard part but you did it)

You`ll know soon enough. Don`t stop going there though. Be yourself.

Now you know you have the confidence to ask out a girl. Go forward from there.

I am not the most confident guy , certainly when the moment is right I can be as confident as they come even if it was tricky at times .

confidence means nothing it if it achieves no goal ,

a rejection is a rejection , it's a very cruel part of every man's life , especially the average joe

May 4, 2016

Keep your head up.

Rejection happens.

Don`t overlook the fact you `Gave it a go`

May 4, 2016

Keep your head up.

Rejection happens.

Don`t overlook the fact you `Gave it a go`

thanks man

looks like the case is closed .

May 4, 2016

a rejection is a rejection , it's a very cruel part of every man's life , especially the average joe

Learn to appreciate rejections because only in darkness you can see the stars.

May 4, 2016

Learn to appreciate rejections because only in darkness you can see the stars.

With all due respect but that is nonsense, there is nothing to appreciate in a rejection

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