I want to ask out a waitress at my favorite place , yet .....

May 3, 2016

Hello,

There is a very nice restaurant that I go to regularly , waitresses know me over there, there is one that I really like so much but I don't know how to ask her out for the following reasons : -

she is very friendly with me but that is literally her job , so I don't have a foolproof way to know if she is being friendly with me because she likes me or she is simply doing her job .
I am still a perfect stranger to her , albeit I am a regular but she doesn't know me and I don't know her , for some reason it might be awkward to ask her out right off the bat, I have chatted with her about other stuff for a couple of minutes but that is about it .
I don't want to creep her out , and if I got rejected there is no way for me to show my face ever again at that place .
One day while I was chatting with her I asked her about her weekend plans , she said she has none but I got a " vibe" that she was going to say No so I didn't ask her out .

I am thinking of leaving a note for her with my number to sorta give her room to think and if she is interested she'd call me but I don't know about that , because it seems a bit cheesy and "high-schooly"

what is the best way to ask her out without coming off as a creep and without getting rejected ?

I really like her so much and I am looking for a serious relationship

Thanks in advance

May 3, 2016

Just ask her out.

If you don't, you'll never know.

It's a risk, and she might say no, but you should still ask her.

Fortune favours the bold.

Take care.

May 3, 2016

I did the "asking the cute girl at my favourite restaurant" thing... yep, total nerves and the thought of going back after doing that. Well, she was nice about it but not interested. I felt low but a few days later when a few of us went back everything was fine. I spoke to her and she was okay about it and said she was flattered (think she had someone if I recall). All in all, however I felt about it, I was glad I did it. Life is too short and you're just two people out of 7 billion. Just next time you're there, find a chance to politely ask if she'd fancy a drink, a coffee maybe, although make it something different than what they serve at the restaurant (someone serving coffee all day may not want a coffee date). Just get her talking, make her laugh and sneak in that you'd like to take her out. If she says no, then fair enough. If she says yes, then start another thread here entitled "first date, where to take her, she hates coffee". Good luck.

May 3, 2016

I did the "asking the cute girl at my favourite restaurant" thing... yep, total nerves and the thought of going back after doing that. Well, she was nice about it but not interested. I felt low but a few days later when a few of us went back everything was fine. I spoke to her and she was okay about it and said she was flattered (think she had someone if I recall). All in all, however I felt about it, I was glad I did it. Life is too short and you're just two people out of 7 billion. Just next time you're there, find a chance to politely ask if she'd fancy a drink, a coffee maybe, although make it something different than what they serve at the restaurant (someone serving coffee all day may not want a coffee date). Just get her talking, make her laugh and sneak in that you'd like to take her out. If she says no, then fair enough. If she says yes, then start another thread here entitled "first date, where to take her, she hates coffee". Good luck.

that's a very nice way to put it , I am supposed to ask her out today , but I feel shaken a bit , it feels like a bad accident waiting to happen or something . I don't know , my gut tells me that it will be an embarrassing and awkward experience , kinda feel like I am forcing myself to do it .

or my mind is just getting creative in coming up with a thousand different excuse so I won't do something uncomfortable

May 3, 2016

that's a very nice way to put it , I am supposed to ask her out today , but I feel shaken a bit , it feels like a bad accident waiting to happen or something . I don't know , my gut tells me that it will be an embarrassing and awkward experience , kinda feel like I am forcing myself to do it .

or my mind is just getting creative in coming up with a thousand different excuse so I won't do something uncomfortable

You have two options my friend - jump in feet first, or don't and spend the rest of your time wishing you had. As I get older I look back at how many times I let some girl go because I bottled it and let those fears take over. Looking back, it was stupid. She's just another human being - no different to any other, apart from you fancy her. Think of it the other way, for all you know, she may feel exactly the same as you do right now. She may be asking her friends about how to ask you out. She may be wishing you would. Then again, she may not... but you won't know until you ask. Think - what's the worse that could happen? You're only asking her out! It'll either be a yes or a no.

May 3, 2016

You have two options my friend - jump in feet first, or don't and spend the rest of your time wishing you had. As I get older I look back at how many times I let some girl go because I bottled it and let those fears take over. Looking back, it was stupid. She's just another human being - no different to any other, apart from you fancy her. Think of it the other way, for all you know, she may feel exactly the same as you do right now. She may be asking her friends about how to ask you out. She may be wishing you would. Then again, she may not... but you won't know until you ask. Think - what's the worse that could happen? You're only asking her out! It'll either be a yes or a no.

That really did make me romanticize about her , I will have to agree with everything you said , it's absolutely true .

IDK , she looks like a girl who would date tall and hunky guys and I am so not that .

I will ask her out today , and hopefully I won't f%$k it up

May 3, 2016

That really did make me romanticize about her , I will have to agree with everything you said , it's absolutely true .
IDK , she looks like a girl who would date tall and hunky guys and I am so not that .
I will ask her out today , and hopefully I won't f%$k it up

She could also be the girl who dates guys who ask her out. Trust me, even if this goes wrong and she says no, you'll feel better about it than looking back in a years time and wishing you'd just done it.

May 3, 2016

She could also be the girl who dates guys who ask her out. Trust me, even if this goes wrong and she says no, you'll feel better about it than looking back in a years time and wishing you'd just done it.

That is it , I am definitely doing it today ,

is it better to ask her directly or should I leave a nice note and my digits ?

May 3, 2016

Directly.

Good luck.

May 3, 2016

or my mind is just getting creative in coming up with a thousand different excuse so I won't do something uncomfortable

Use your creative mind to think about future events if she says "Yes". Think about it and ask her out. Remember - Confidence and Eye contact.

Please don't pass notes. Ask directly. Non-verbal communication matters a lot.

What is the worst thing that could happen. And now think what is the worst thing that has already happened to you. Just compare. I think it would be nothing in comparison.

It's better to regret something you did than regret not doing it.

May 3, 2016

Directly.

Good luck.

Thanks , I am going there within less than an hour ..... nerves !

May 3, 2016

I recall doing that when I was younger, mid-20s...but they all had a boyfriend and/or a kid they were supporting. That's just how it is in these smaller cities.

Hello,

There is a very nice restaurant that I go to regularly , waitresses know me over there, there is one that I really like so much but I don't know how to ask her out for the following reasons : -

she is very friendly with me but that is literally her job , so I don't have a foolproof way to know if she is being friendly with me because she likes me or she is simply doing her job .

I am still a perfect stranger to her , albeit I am a regular but she doesn't know me and I don't know her , for some reason it might be awkward to ask her out right off the bat, I have chatted with her about other stuff for a couple of minutes but that is about it .

I don't want to creep her out , and if I got rejected there is no way for me to show my face ever again at that place .

One day while I was chatting with her I asked her about her weekend plans , she said she has none but I got a " vibe" that she was going to say No so I didn't ask her out .

I am thinking of leaving a note for her with my number to sorta give her room to think and if she is interested she'd call me but I don't know about that , because it seems a bit cheesy and "high-schooly"

what is the best way to ask her out without coming off as a creep and without getting rejected ?

I really like her so much and I am looking for a serious relationship

Thanks in advance

May 3, 2016

Use your creative mind to think about future events if she says "Yes". Think about it and ask her out. Remember - Confidence and Eye contact.
Please don't pass notes. Ask directly. Non-verbal communication matters a lot.
What is the worst thing that could happen. And now think what is the worst thing that has already happened to you. Just compare. I think it would be nothing in comparison.
It's better to regret something you did than regret not doing it.

I'd take her to a very nice and quiet place , serious first date stuff

Confidence and Eye contact.

confidence is tricky , I admit that I am getting nervous now but most likely it will go smoothly , I hope

I will look into her eyes and smile ,ask her out and give her my number ,

May 3, 2016

Zero wrong with a few nerves.

Got everything crossed for you!

May 3, 2016

I recall doing that when I was younger, mid-20s...but they all had a boyfriend and/or a kid they were supporting. That's just how it is in these smaller cities.

I am mighty certain that she is unmarried

I don't know if she is single or not , I guess I might know today

May 3, 2016

Zero wrong with a few nerves.

Got everything crossed for you!

Thanks Haydn , the thing is I have no appetite for food now

funny cuz she works in a food place , I'll tell you how it went afterwards

May 3, 2016

I am mighty certain that she is unmarried
I don't know if she is single or not , I guess I might know today

I'm a little late to the party but if you haven't asked her already based on the above. don't.

The idea that you wanted to give her a note tells me you are inexperienced & lack confidence. I'm glad you gave up that idea. Giving such a note would guarantee rejection because it's creepy.

Your statement that if she says no you can never go back there again screams drama queen. I worked my way through college & grad school as a waitress & bartender. Hundreds of customers asked me out. I rarely said yes. Still I wasn't weirded out by it as long as they were normal in the face of rejection. When then acted all squirrelly that made things weird. I just tried to go along as if they didn't ask & I didn't turn them down, as if nothing changed & they were still my customer & I was still happy to see them because that is how I saw them unless they got weird, & wouldn't make eye contact or stared at me from across the room & seethed.

Back to your statement that you don't know her status. You need to chat her up some before you ask. Make sure she knows your name. Find out if she has a BF before you ask. Something not so subtle like, "hey does your BF get annoyed that you work here & guys like me flirt with you?" How she responds to that Q will tell you all you need to know about whether she'd be open to dating you. Your failure to ask such a Q has you going in blind which is never a good idea.

May 3, 2016

I did waitress job for 5 years at a really nice and busy Sushi Restaurant and guys always try to flirt with me but I never did because I was married and a mother so that was big no.

But if I was single, if guy comes to my restaurant regularly and always gentle man, if he ask out I maybe interested.

It is ok too write a nice note too.

But waitress will always nice to you because they work for tips too but if she like a guy, she will go there more often and be extra nice too

I worked with a lot of waitress and we talk behind who is cute or nice and who we hate to serve again....

So ask her out and watch how she respond and treat you compare to other customers too...maybe little hint there.

May 4, 2016

I'm a little late to the party but if you haven't asked her already based on the above. don't.

The idea that you wanted to give her a note tells me you are inexperienced & lack confidence. I'm glad you gave up that idea. Giving such a note would guarantee rejection because it's creepy.

Your statement that if she says no you can never go back there again screams drama queen. I worked my way through college & grad school as a waitress & bartender. Hundreds of customers asked me out. I rarely said yes. Still I wasn't weirded out by it as long as they were normal in the face of rejection. When then acted all squirrelly that made things weird. I just tried to go along as if they didn't ask & I didn't turn them down, as if nothing changed & they were still my customer & I was still happy to see them because that is how I saw them unless they got weird, & wouldn't make eye contact or stared at me from across the room & seethed.

Back to your statement that you don't know her status. You need to chat her up some before you ask. Make sure she knows your name. Find out if she has a BF before you ask. Something not so subtle like, "hey does your BF get annoyed that you work here & guys like me flirt with you?" How she responds to that Q will tell you all you need to know about whether she'd be open to dating you. Your failure to ask such a Q has you going in blind which is never a good idea.

I appreciate your reply but it is wrong on many levels

The idea that you wanted to give her a note tells me you are inexperienced & lack confidence. I'm glad you gave up that idea. Giving such a note would guarantee rejection because it's creepy.

No , I wanted to give her a note because I didn't want to put her on the spot while she is doing her job , obviously I have no problem talking to her

Your statement that if she says no you can never go back there again screams drama queen

untrue statement , I figured it would be awkward going back there after being rejected , there is no "drama queen "element here

May 4, 2016

so here is what happened , I went there .

sat down , and she was not there ......

so I asked about her and they told me she is here ,

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .

I got a vibe that she wanted to say yes but was too shy to say it directly , but I don't know ... I was smiling all the way home ,

It was just a beautiful moment ... thats how I felt .

but I didn't receive a call , or a text or anything .

so now I am becoming uncertain , was it a very eloquent and polite "No"that I didn't get ?

or should I just be patient now ....

Í like that girl so much , and I am willing to do whatever it takes to date her ,

May 4, 2016

Give it some time. She's thinking on it. No need to panic.

Fingers crossed!

May 4, 2016

Give it some time. She's thinking on it. No need to panic.

Fingers crossed!

Thanks , I hope she says yes

May 4, 2016

so here is what happened , I went there .
sat down , and she was not there ......
so I asked about her and they told me she is here ,

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .
I got a vibe that she wanted to say yes but was too shy to say it directly , but I don't know ... I was smiling all the way home ,

It was just a beautiful moment ... thats how I felt .
but I didn't receive a call , or a text or anything .
so now I am becoming uncertain , was it a very eloquent and polite "No"that I didn't get ?
or should I just be patient now ....

Í like that girl so much , and I am willing to do whatever it takes to date her ,

Sounds like a good start.

And good for you, asking her.

Bit of patience needed now.

You have put it out there. Give her some time.

But i am well pleased for you A.

May 4, 2016

so here is what happened , I went there .
sat down , and she was not there ......
so I asked about her and they told me she is here ,

after minutes she came to my table and said hi and we chatted for a minute or so , and I asked her out , she smiled and said "maybe" and I gave her my number . we continued to talk for a while , she took my order and left .
I got a vibe that she wanted to say yes but was too shy to say it directly , but I don't know ... I was smiling all the way home ,

It was just a beautiful moment ... thats how I felt .
but I didn't receive a call , or a text or anything .
so now I am becoming uncertain , was it a very eloquent and polite "No"that I didn't get ?
or should I just be patient now ....

Í like that girl so much , and I am willing to do whatever it takes to date her ,

Did you leave a good tip?

Congrats for doing it direct - no notes or anything. Would've been better had she given you her number, but hey ho. All you can do now is wait and carry on living your life (no one wants to date someone who is always at their door, begging for attention). If you go back, then be as polite as always but don't bug her as to why she hasn't called. Don't act desperate but also don't be off with her - she could have many reasons why she hasn't contacted you. Leave the ball in her court. If you hear nothing, then sadly you may have to let this fishy go free and cast your rod elsewhere. At least you can stand proud that you took a chance and think how more confident you'll now be come the next time.

May 4, 2016

Did you leave a good tip?

Congrats for doing it direct - no notes or anything. Would've been better had she given you her number, but hey ho. All you can do now is wait and carry on living your life (no one wants to date someone who is always at their door, begging for attention). If you go back, then be as polite as always but don't bug her as to why she hasn't called. Don't act desperate but also don't be off with her - she could have many reasons why she hasn't contacted you. Leave the ball in her court. If you hear nothing, then sadly you may have to let this fishy go free and cast your rod elsewhere. At least you can stand proud that you took a chance and think how more confident you'll now be come the next time.

I am thinking of not going there for 1-2 weeks then just show up , It wasn't thinking of asking her number, I wanted to let her decide and throw the ball in her court .

It hasn't been 24 hrs yet , but I am gradually losing hope , had she been really interested she would have texted me asking about how my meal was or something , anything but no-contact ? I don't think so,

I think the whole thing tanked and I misread her .

whats a realistic timetable to get a response from her before finally letting go of the whole thing ?

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