Antonego Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I met my girlfriend at work, and last year 2015, early November she said 'we needed a break, from each other,' so we had a break, during the break her and I would text every now and then through the holidays. Come January we were back together just as before, we were going strong until early April 4,5, she began saying that she isn't 'feeling it anymore.' I respected it, but felt it was a stupid ass excuse. We stopped texting, then around 2 weeks later she began texting me again asking how I was doing, and it seemed like normal again. She wanted to meet up and we went for dinner. Afterward, we kept texting, like always and she would bring up the past/things we have done together. Around 1 week later we got into an argument about work and she stated that 'I was just checking on you as a friend.' I didn't respond at all, and just left it unread. It's been around 2 weeks Since then, she's posted on social media about being lonely and sad. Our mutual friends update me on what she's been doing, she's been mostly working and hanging out with her older sister, do her and I still have a shot? (Her and I don't work at the same job anymore) 1
LD1990 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Do you and she still have a shot at what? Being together? Sure, I imagine she'll get in touch with you again once she's sick of being lonely, provided she doesn't meet anyone else. Being together for the long haul? Doubtful. Relationships with frequent breakups and makeups don't all of a sudden become healthy relationships. What usually happens is you keep breaking up and making up until one person gets sick of that and ends things for good. You need to ask yourself why you're willing to put up with this in the first place. 1
privategal Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Take the 2 weeks and add another 2 weeks and in your case Id aim for 60 days. Id work on you..do some thinking, work hard on your job, spend time with friends, get to gym, travel... And at the end of this time...see how you feel. You havent mutually broken up...but its unhealthy. Id send a quick polite note next time she writes that you are taking some time to ficus on you and ask her for the same. Be polite, but be firm you need this time. She might not be right for you and you are in a makeup and breakup cycle thats draining you guys. You have to pick a side once and for all and stand by it. Take the time seriously to be alone and improve you. Then worry about her. You may miss eachother...it doesnt mean you are right for eachother. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 No, there's no shot at something long-term. She isn't committed. She likes your attention when she's bored or lonely but her interest doesn't go much further than that. Ask your friends to stop updating you about her and block her on social media. You're wasting your time with this one. 2
Satu Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 snip she began saying that she isn't 'feeling it anymore.' I respected it, but felt it was a stupid ass excuse. That wasn't an excuse, and it wasn't stupid. It was a statement of fact. You can't just brush things like that aside. Is what you are feeling stupid? Do you need an excuse for feeling the way you do? 3
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 No there is not shot at a reconciliation. You tried that once & it didn't work. It's over. Any pretext at friendship is more just that she's not a mean person & wishes you well in your life, nothing more.
Eaglescout88 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Hello, thank you for sharing this information with us. I know that this has been a difficult time for you, and now the two of you are not together and the ball is in your court. If you want to win this woman's heart, you have to LOVE her. Love is not a feeling, but an action. Actively pursuit her. Set up a date for dinner at a nice restaurant. Wear your best outfit. Buy her favorite flowers. Make it a very special night. Once you have her back, you need to keep her. First, have a date night once per week. Do everything you can to keep that date and make it special EVERY week. Also, everyone has their own love language, and it is best to learn what her love language is and then "love her" based upon her love language. Hope this helps. God Bless You! Kevin
quattrob Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Hello, thank you for sharing this information with us. I know that this has been a difficult time for you, and now the two of you are not together and the ball is in your court. If you want to win this woman's heart, you have to LOVE her. Love is not a feeling, but an action. Actively pursuit her. Set up a date for dinner at a nice restaurant. Wear your best outfit. Buy her favorite flowers. Make it a very special night. Once you have her back, you need to keep her. First, have a date night once per week. Do everything you can to keep that date and make it special EVERY week. Also, everyone has their own love language, and it is best to learn what her love language is and then "love her" based upon her love language. Hope this helps. God Bless You! Kevin No offence but your advice is probably one of the worse possible advice for OP's situation. The girl does not like him that way and she already said she wasn't feeling it anymore. Respect that and move on. You can't make others love you by doing all the things you suggested. The things you suggested are like from a fairy tale book that doesn't work especially at OP's stage. Please do yourself a favor OP and forget about this girl. Don't hold on to false hope. 3
AVeryConfusedGuy Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I honestly agree with the others... As painful and harsh it may seem I don't think there is a chance, that it will LAST. She's playing with your head at the moment. You have to ask yourself, do you seriously want a girl that's indecisive like she is? It's crap what some women do to men and it's always because they are 'confused' and not knowing what they want. She wanted this and you need to distant yourself as best as you can. This involves extreme no contact; don't contact her for any reason and don't reply to any of her messages or phone calls (which will be even harder). As tempted as you will get, you need to keep reminding yourself that she ended things with you for 'not feeling it anymore' and then wanted to only reach out as a friend. That my friend, is her trying to keep the door open incase things don't work out with whatever is going on in her head and that she thinks she can come running back when SHE wants to. Don't allow her to do this.
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