mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 So I went on 3 dates with this guy and we kissed on the third. He used to text every day but after date 3 he kinda only texted every other days. Friday I was telling him that I was having a happy hour with my friends and he said he would be around too and said we could meet up. But he later changed his mind saying we don't have to since he won't be around until later that night. And later that evening he texted me again asking if I want to meet him or go to his house to play games. It was kinda late and I felt like that was a really spontaneous invite so I refused. Saturday I asked him if we could meet up since I was around. He refused saying he felt tired. I haven't heard from him since (2 days). I have this feeling that this won't work out but I still want to meet him. Should I ask him out for a fourth date?
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 So I went on 3 dates with this guy and we kissed on the third. He used to text every day but after date 3 he kinda only texted every other days. Friday I was telling him that I was having a happy hour with my friends and he said he would be around too and said we could meet up. But he later changed his mind saying we don't have to since he won't be around until later that night. And later that evening he texted me again asking if I want to meet him or go to his house to play games. It was kinda late and I felt like that was a really spontaneous invite so I refused. Saturday I asked him if we could meet up since I was around. He refused saying he felt tired. I haven't heard from him since (2 days). I have this feeling that this won't work out but I still want to meet him. Should I ask him out for a fourth date? Jmo but when a man begins to pull back, you don't respond to that by pushing for more time. You allow him his space and pull back yourself. You already asked him out for Saturday night and he turned you down. The ball is in his court. 4
Author mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 Jmo but when a man begins to pull back, you don't respond to that by pushing for more time. You allow him his space and pull back yourself. You already asked him out for Saturday night and he turned you down. The ball is in his court. so can I still txt him? Or wait until he reaches out? Idk what I have in mind I just feel like if this doesn't work out I want to make it clear for both of us...
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 so can I still txt him? Or wait until he reaches out? Idk what I have in mind I just feel like if this doesn't work out I want to make it clear for both of us... No just wait till he reaches out. It's way too early to say it's over...or to need closure. Just give him space, do your thing. Give him a chance to miss you and wonder about you! Do nothing for now. 4
Author mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 No just wait till he reaches out. It's way too early to say it's over...or to need closure. Just give him space, do your thing. Give him a chance to miss you and wonder about you! Do nothing for now. Thanks Katie. I know I fall too soon. *sigh* I am just not sure if he is interested or not. I can't tell and that's driving me crazy. I wish everything will be straightforward. He did text me Sunday night asking what was I doing. My friend said he probably wanted to ask me to join his friends for drinks (which I found out later). But this again was really spontaneous and I already had plan on Sunday night so I didn't respond to him until really late.
Dis Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Like Katie said, dont run after a guy when he pulls away. Alot of guys like the chase...it would be a turn off if you started chasing him. Take some deep breaths and let the chips fall where they may. He might text you, he might not. The world isnt going to end either way. 4
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Thanks Katie. I know I fall too soon. *sigh* I am just not sure if he is interested or not. I can't tell and that's driving me crazy. I wish everything will be straightforward. He did text me Sunday night asking what was I doing. My friend said he probably wanted to ask me to join his friends for drinks (which I found out later). But this again was really spontaneous and I already had plan on Sunday night so I didn't respond to him until really late. If you could learn to contain your anxiety, that would be best. Running and yoga help calm me down when I start feeling a bit crazy and anxious. Whatever you do, don't burden him with it by texting, calling, pushing to see him. That will only push him away! IMO it sounds fine, he texted you Sunday, try to calm down... and don't over-think. Do you have friends or family to spend time with?
Author mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 If you could learn to contain your anxiety, that would be best. Running and yoga help calm me down when I start feeling a bit crazy and anxious. Whatever you do, don't burden him with it by texting, calling, pushing to see him. That will only push him away! IMO it sounds fine, he texted you Sunday, try to calm down... and don't over-think. Do you have friends or family to spend time with? I do. Right now I am preparing for a big exam so I actually need to focus on it but this overthinking is killing me. You are right. I should calm down and just see what will happen.
Dis Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I do. Right now I am preparing for a big exam so I actually need to focus on it but this overthinking is killing me. You are right. I should calm down and just see what will happen. Oh I def hear you...balancing guys with school. Whatever you do dont let this guy distract you from studying because who knows, he might not be around later on. I wasted too much time worrying about guys when I should have been studying. Its honestly amazing I've been able to keep my 4.0 after months and months of dating drama. You and your education come first right now. Go for a run or do some yoga, then hit the books. Happy studying lol 2
tayriley Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 you've only been on three dates with this guy. you were totally in the right not to say yes to his booty call invite. you already asked him out on saturday and he declined. you dont need to do it again. i'd say wait this one out. dont contact him at all. if he's still into you, he will contact you. if he isn't, dont think of it as some sort of negative thing on your part. there are a million reasons why people dont keep dating a person..and this earliy on, a lot of them have more to with them than you. whether it is being hung up on an ex, being a commitment-phobe, purposely keeping it 'casual'...so dont worry about it, if he never contacts you again, cut your losses. ...if he contacts you in more than 2 weeks, don't respond. he clearly just wants attention at that point and remembered you could give it to him. don't give him the satisfaction. next time you feel the twinge to call or text him, just imagine how horrible it will feel if he doesnt pick up or respond to your text. 2
MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Did he ask you out and do all the planning for the first three dates? If so, then you need to reciprocate. A general 'I'll be out with my friends' doesn't count. Ask him out in advance. All of this last minute spontaneity (yes, you did it on Saturday too) is killing any chance for this to grow. You're moving into casual territory too quickly. 'Wanna hang out, I'm not doing anything else?' is not a date, it's an afterthought. 4
Arieswoman Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 mushroomlol, Should I ask him for a fourth date? No. Now I'm going to tell you to do the most difficult thing you've done for a while concerning him and that's nothing. You get on with your studies and start preparing to make a career as a smart independent woman. That should be your top priority just now. Guys come and go but your education is forever. If he calls then you don't accept anything less than a proper date with reasonable notice - none of this "hanging out" rubbish, or "going to his house to play games". After 3 dates you hardly know this guy, so don't be too quick to make it "casual". Good luck x 3
Author mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 Did he ask you out and do all the planning for the first three dates? If so, then you need to reciprocate. A general 'I'll be out with my friends' doesn't count. Ask him out in advance. All of this last minute spontaneity (yes, you did it on Saturday too) is killing any chance for this to grow. You're moving into casual territory too quickly. 'Wanna hang out, I'm not doing anything else?' is not a date, it's an afterthought. I realized that last minute asking is killing the chance too so that's why I am thinking abt asking him out. But now I feel like it's better to wait. He did ask me out for the first 3 dates but we changed the 3rd date because he didn't confirm at the beginning and I went ahead and changed my plan instead of waiting for him.
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 The fastest way to catch a guy is to let him chase you. That said, I'm a take the bull by the horns person. For right now focus on your exams. That is the most important thing. If he's a student too, assume his current disappearing act is him studying. When your exam is over, call him & invite him out to celebrate.
Author mushroomlol Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 The fastest way to catch a guy is to let him chase you. That said, I'm a take the bull by the horns person. For right now focus on your exams. That is the most important thing. If he's a student too, assume his current disappearing act is him studying. When your exam is over, call him & invite him out to celebrate. I am not a student anymore. It's an exam required for my career. But anyway you are right. It's still more important than anything else at the moment.
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