sickoflove11 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I haven't been in a relationship or had any type of feelings for a guy since my last bf and I broke up almost 3 years ago. I was really comfortable, and happy, with being single and alone until I started talking to this guy. Long story short, it didn't last long. He was playing games and is just very insecure, narcissistic, and not someone I would even want to be with. I also found out he is sleeping with this married women he has been seeing on and off for a few years so that was just disturbing to me. Bad news, we did sleep together one night when we were both drinking. It was a bad idea for many reasons but I was over the idea of him ever being bf material, though I probably still had feelings for him. He is the first guy I have been with physically in any way since my ex, and it wasn't that great. We had made out before after a date we went on and I had much higher expectations.. maybe being drunk had an effect on this but it was just like jackhammer the whole time and didn't end well. So back to the married wife he goes and I'm in this sucky position of wanting to have good sex, but also just wanting to get back to being happy like when I was single those few years. I tried dating websites but I'm very uncomfortable with that type of meeting. I like to meet people in day to day life and see where it goes. I've never had causal sex before this guy and I'm having a hard time getting over him. Which makes me feel so dumb because he's a ****ty person and I know it. I'm not even sure what my question is here. I guess it's more of a rant but I don't know where to go with these feelings..
smackie9 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 OLD or meeting people randomly irl you can set your rules/standards on how you approach, deal with, when getting to know someone. You can have complete control so I have no idea what you are worried about. You can reject, say no or say yes. BTW don't shame yourself for having a casual indiscretion. That is your business and no one elses.... There are nice people out there looking for what you are looking for. When dating, your make your expectations clear because there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and expect. 1
ly399 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 risk of being sound like a broke record, time will heal. you will feel more comfortable dating as you meet more people. don't fixate on him, if you dont find anyone you interested, go work on yourself: work out, take on home renovation project, etc. Life happens in many unexpected ways, the worst it can happen is you sit around in your sorrow and truly miss out many other beautiful things in life
Author sickoflove11 Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 I am worried about finding someone in general. I find people more attractive when I meet them irl based on their personality. On OLD it's all looks and I feel like I have such unattainable standards so I just give up. I don't have many friends in the area so I don't go out often. When I do it's with guy friends so the chances of meeting someone out with them is slim. I am ok with being alone but other times I would really like to have mutual feelings for someone again. Then I start to miss the guy I don't even want to be with.
Author sickoflove11 Posted May 3, 2016 Author Posted May 3, 2016 risk of being sound like a broke record, time will heal. you will feel more comfortable dating as you meet more people. don't fixate on him, if you dont find anyone you interested, go work on yourself: work out, take on home renovation project, etc. Life happens in many unexpected ways, the worst it can happen is you sit around in your sorrow and truly miss out many other beautiful things in life You're right and I feel like I should know all this by now. I've had my fair share of breakups and have gotten over them, but this one wasn't completely my choice. So I feel rejected. This sounds dumb but will I ever stop thinking about him? He's in the same friend circle so it will be hard to get away from. I don't think about him that much but he will randomly pop into my head and I can't focus on anything else. I spent all weekend at a festival, making new friends, having a great time, but here he is. Still in my head. I can't be busy 24/7 sometimes I need to relax, and that's when I still think of him. I think of how stupid I am for thinking about him when he doesn't think about me for a second.
Papiyon Posted May 4, 2016 Posted May 4, 2016 Dropping by to encourage you not to get discouraged but also not to settle either. Trust your intuition with your ex. You mentioned he’s not a good guy and not worth your energy and precious time. Additionally you said it best- the affair he is having with the married woman is disturbing. He has shown you who he is, so trust it. You mentioned he is narcissistic, insecure AND you really don’t want to be with him-so sharing your body with him can be volatile. I can only imagine a man like that will only end up hurting you. You mentioned you don’t have any friends and you’re apprehensive about meeting men online. Maybe you can join an all women meet up group in your area for friendship. I also experienced the same loneliness when I moved from the east coast and west coast. Maybe a group that do activities you like. For example I’m a foodie so I joined an all woman’s foodie meet up group. Hope this helps. Sending you positive blessings and positive thoughts. 1
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