Turtle21 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Ok I am 18 years old and my gf is 16 almost 17. When she was 12 years old she had sex with a 16 year old guy. It blew my mind when she told me cuz she didn't and still doesn't act anything like that. I worried about it at first, then it never came up and I didn't. It came up about 2 weeks ago and it's been bothering me again. She also had sex in her next relationship when she was 14. I just need someone to tell me I'm stupid and it doesn't matter cuz it's the past. Oh and we've been dating a year and 5 months. The reason this bothers me is Bc I know who she is and she's a great person that I can never see her doing something like that. She regrets it more than anything she said she felt pressured and I understand that I just don't know why I still get butt hurt when I think about it.
deadparrot Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 12 years (some would even argue 14) is dangerously young to be having sex; many would consider it rape, especially considering she says she felt pressured. Basically, your girlfriend suffered sexual trauma at an extremely young age and all you're focusing on is the fact that you're not the first, rather than supporting her and encouraging her to seek help if necessary. Most people don't spend the rest of their lives with their first sexual partner. You're going to have to come to terms with the fact that your partner, whether it's this girl or someone else, will have had sex with someone else. 1
ASG Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Does she really regret it or does she tell you that because you seem to have not taken it well? Also, what exactly is your problem with it? That she was young? That you were not her first? Or that she had sex with other before but won't with you? Your post is not very clear. Because you say she's had sex within relationships, so it's not like she was sleeping around...
itstoni Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I just need someone to tell me I'm stupid and it doesn't matter cuz it's the past. You're stupid and it's just the past. It shouldn't matter, everyone has sex at a young age nowadays. Nothing changes if she's a virgin or not. Just live in the present, enjoy her company while you still can and move on.
Author Turtle21 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 Mainly that she was so young and she wasn't dating him long.. She was so young I don't see how someone that young even knows what sex is. It also hurts that it wasn't with me yes but that's not the main problem. Thanks for replying guys
ASG Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Mainly that she was so young and she wasn't dating him long.. She was so young I don't see how someone that young even knows what sex is. It also hurts that it wasn't with me yes but that's not the main problem. Thanks for replying guys How would you NOT know what sex is? I mean... I'm twice the age of your GF. So when *I* started having sex she wasn't even born. Neither were you for that matter. I knew full well what sex was and that I wanted to start having it. With the guy I was dating at the time. We weren't together that long either. We dated on and off for about 9 months and we started being intimate maybe a month after we started dating. This was the time before internet. And things were a lot less sexualised then. And I was well aware of what was going on. So, yeah, basically, you need to get over it. There is LITERALLY nothing wrong with your GFs past. Only that she didn't lose her virginity to you. But that's not on her.
elaine567 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 It blew my mind when she told me cuz she didn't and still doesn't act anything like that. "Like that" is the issue here, having sex at such a young age is not what "nice girls" do and that is what I guess he is really struggling with. 2
Gaeta Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Ok I am 18 years old and my gf is 16 almost 17. When she was 12 years old she had sex with a 16 year old guy. It blew my mind when she told me cuz she didn't and still doesn't act anything like that. It should blow your mind because at 12 she was still a child unable to make the difference between good and wrong. She also was used, controlled and manipulated by a 16 year old guy because at 16 he knew very well what he was doing, not her. You can't compare your girlfriend today at 17 with when she was 12. At 12 her brain was not developed enough to have judgement. She had no idea what she was getting into back then. 3
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