Lovestinks12 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 So I'm getting back into the dating scene and someone was telling me to just ask every girl out, even if I get rejected. what do the girls think about this? I don't want to be that dude who hits on girls when they're just trying to go through their day. I'm also obsessing about getting a girl, which is bad, but Its been a year since my ex ended things and I haven't dated or done anything sexual with girl since.
Mrin Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 There is a certain wisdom to this - in moderation. Basically I'd advocate doing something like this for a short.period of time. It is less about actually meeting anyone and more just thickening up your skin and getting back into the swing of things.
Larryville Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 It is less about actually meeting anyone and more just thickening up your skin While I get this and understand it, I’m back and forth on the notion of just asking every random woman out as “practice” in theory. What if they say yes…. Cool for you but it is the very reason why this site is filled with women posting threads wondering why dudes got a girls number, asked them out, acted interested, showed positive attention for a time... texts with smiley faces... but eventually ghosted. Not really interested “sorry but you were just a practice chick” 2
mikeylo Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Be careful with this theory ! It might end up as a mess before you realize. Take it one at a time.
GoodOnPaper Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I wish I would have tried this, but my understanding is that it's designed to help guys who are uncomfortable in their own skin and very overwhelmed/intimidated by the initial approach process. If that doesn't describe you, just approach however many girls you feel like whether it's 0 or 100.
Zapbasket Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 No, no, no. This isn't the way to go about it. First off, any girl can sniff when a guy is wantonly hitting on every woman. Usually it looks pretty pathetic unless the guy is incredibly socially astute and charming...in which case he WON'T be hitting up women "just trying to go about their day." Secondly, hasn't being in relationships taught you anything? It's all about quality; it's about the RIGHT fit; it's about putting your best out there and getting the best in return. It's about adopting a mindset of integrity about what you really want out of life. As opposed to just hitting on everyone in the hopes that you're flypaper and they're flies that will stick, a.k.a. get you laid--yes, you will get laid but it's a very empty endeavor that doesn't really improve your qualities for a healthy relationship. So you're just going in circles rather than moving forward, and don't you want to move forward? The way forward is to be affable, yes; to go out and socialize, yes; to have fun, yes. But do it with a positive purpose. Talk to lots of women, so that you can ferret out the one you're really attracted to and intrigued by. Hold council with yourself so that you're doing everything you can to become more attractive outwardly and inwardly. Set goals and plans to meet them, and enact those plans, every day. Above all, focus on being genuine and kind. Kind isn't the same as being "nice." It's more discerning, more strong, and requires more of your awareness and carefully directed attention. In short, it's HOT. The more you focus on being genuine and kind and hold council with yourself to stay in line with that aim, the more you will attract the same back to you. In turn, this way of doing things will build your confidence, making it not only easier to approach women generally, but to both discern what women really interest you AND be able to confidently approach THEM. You're accomplishing much more this way than if you try to play a numbers game and chat up women. That's just..., and insulting, for everyone involved. Not to mention totally, pathetically transparent, as I said in the very beginning. 3
deadparrot Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Ask out women who pique your interest in some way. When I was OLD, you could spot a guy who copied and pasted the same generic message to every female profile. Needless to say, I never wasted my time in responding. People want to go on dates with those whom they feel some degree of comfort or spark. Doing the dating equivalent of cold calling isn't going to get you the response you want.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 No, no, no. This isn't the way to go about it. First off, any girl can sniff when a guy is wantonly hitting on every woman. Usually it looks pretty pathetic unless the guy is incredibly socially astute and charming...in which case he WON'T be hitting up women "just trying to go about their day." Secondly, hasn't being in relationships taught you anything? It's all about quality; it's about the RIGHT fit; it's about putting your best out there and getting the best in return. It's about adopting a mindset of integrity about what you really want out of life. As opposed to just hitting on everyone in the hopes that you're flypaper and they're flies that will stick, a.k.a. get you laid--yes, you will get laid but it's a very empty endeavor that doesn't really improve your qualities for a healthy relationship. So you're just going in circles rather than moving forward, and don't you want to move forward? The way forward is to be affable, yes; to go out and socialize, yes; to have fun, yes. But do it with a positive purpose. Talk to lots of women, so that you can ferret out the one you're really attracted to and intrigued by. Hold council with yourself so that you're doing everything you can to become more attractive outwardly and inwardly. Set goals and plans to meet them, and enact those plans, every day. Above all, focus on being genuine and kind. Kind isn't the same as being "nice." It's more discerning, more strong, and requires more of your awareness and carefully directed attention. In short, it's HOT. The more you focus on being genuine and kind and hold council with yourself to stay in line with that aim, the more you will attract the same back to you. In turn, this way of doing things will build your confidence, making it not only easier to approach women generally, but to both discern what women really interest you AND be able to confidently approach THEM. You're accomplishing much more this way than if you try to play a numbers game and chat up women. That's just..., and insulting, for everyone involved. Not to mention totally, pathetically transparent, as I said in the very beginning. I have to second this.
itstoni Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 So I'm getting back into the dating scene and someone was telling me to just ask every girl out, even if I get rejected. what do the girls think about this? I don't want to be that dude who hits on girls when they're just trying to go through their day. I'm also obsessing about getting a girl, which is bad, but Its been a year since my ex ended things and I haven't dated or done anything sexual with girl since. This is a perfect way to start. Getting girls is a number game. Expect to get rejected 10 times and a yes 1 time. Don't bother caring if you "ruin" their day. Women get hit on all the time, to them you'll just be another guy. Only thing I do recommended is not to come off as needy or obsessed. Don't come off as you have a hidden agenda. Go up to a girl you are actually interested, be genuine, and see if she fits your taste, then take it from there. 1
normal person Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) No, no, no. This isn't the way to go about it. First off, any girl can sniff when a guy is wantonly hitting on every woman. Usually it looks pretty pathetic unless the guy is incredibly socially astute and charming...in which case he WON'T be hitting up women "just trying to go about their day." Even as a guy, I'd have to agree with this. Those guys who hit on anything that moves are laughable and pathetic to both men and women. It seems totally pointless and short-sighted. Throwing darts and seeing if any of them hit? Embarrassing. If you have to ask a random or relative stranger out without knowing what the answer will be, you're doing something wrong. When women like you, they'll make it obvious. If you just act on those cues alone from people you have an actual interest in, you'll have a near perfect success rate. Here's a novel concept, why not just go out with women who you actually like? Edited May 2, 2016 by normal person 1
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Being completely indiscriminate won't work. You are not desperate. But if someone catches your eye, by all means chat her up. Do not let one woman see you ask out another. Nobody wants to know she's 2nd choice.
jen1447 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 No, no, no. This isn't the way to go about it. First off, any girl can sniff when a guy is wantonly hitting on every woman. Usually it looks pretty pathetic unless the guy is incredibly socially astute and charming...in which case he WON'T be hitting up women "just trying to go about their day." Secondly, hasn't being in relationships taught you anything? It's all about quality; it's about the RIGHT fit; it's about putting your best out there and getting the best in return. It's about adopting a mindset of integrity about what you really want out of life. As opposed to just hitting on everyone in the hopes that you're flypaper and they're flies that will stick, a.k.a. get you laid--yes, you will get laid but it's a very empty endeavor that doesn't really improve your qualities for a healthy relationship. So you're just going in circles rather than moving forward, and don't you want to move forward? The way forward is to be affable, yes; to go out and socialize, yes; to have fun, yes. But do it with a positive purpose. Talk to lots of women, so that you can ferret out the one you're really attracted to and intrigued by. Hold council with yourself so that you're doing everything you can to become more attractive outwardly and inwardly. Set goals and plans to meet them, and enact those plans, every day. Above all, focus on being genuine and kind. Kind isn't the same as being "nice." It's more discerning, more strong, and requires more of your awareness and carefully directed attention. In short, it's HOT. The more you focus on being genuine and kind and hold council with yourself to stay in line with that aim, the more you will attract the same back to you. In turn, this way of doing things will build your confidence, making it not only easier to approach women generally, but to both discern what women really interest you AND be able to confidently approach THEM. You're accomplishing much more this way than if you try to play a numbers game and chat up women. That's just..., and insulting, for everyone involved. Not to mention totally, pathetically transparent, as I said in the very beginning. I have to second this. I'll add a third. I believe the motion's carried. 2
jen1447 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I don't think I even agree w/the numbers game theory tbh ....if your game is weak, no amount of carpet bombing is really gonna improve your lot in an appreciable way (assuming your targets aren't sex trade workers or the sort of ladies left over at the bar at 2:15 a.m. anyway). Sorta suggests quality over quantity is a better focus - improve yourself so what you're 'selling' has some value. (All this assumes what you're after - the "game" part of the numbers game - is just sex to begin with, which I don't think is a legit broad assumption for everyone.)
Jabron1 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 So I'm getting back into the dating scene and someone was telling me to just ask every girl out, even if I get rejected. what do the girls think about this? I don't want to be that dude who hits on girls when they're just trying to go through their day. I'm also obsessing about getting a girl, which is bad, but Its been a year since my ex ended things and I haven't dated or done anything sexual with girl since. My point is that, yes, you should be asking out girls. It is a numbers game. No you won't be 'bothering' them. You'll soon figure out what works for you and what doesn't, but you'll only figure it out by getting out there and doing it. And yes, obsession is very bad. That will carry over into your vibe. You need to figure out how to cut that out. It really is a very big issue.
Cherryz Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Why dont you just socialize, meet girls meet people talk, go out in group activity and so on and when you meet someone thats is single and that you like and possibility a match then approach her and start dating her. Instead of going all over the place. Its not good look on you or you self esteem either i think to be dating so many. Relax, no need to rush anything. Take time to get to know people. And go for quality not quantity.
jen1447 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Which takes us back to the beginning .... So I'm getting back into the dating scene and someone was telling me to just ask every girl out, even if I get rejected. what do the girls think about this? I don't want to be that dude who hits on girls when they're just trying to go through their day. I'm also obsessing about getting a girl, which is bad, but Its been a year since my ex ended things and I haven't dated or done anything sexual with girl since. OP, most women here seem to think this is a bad idea. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Yep. Bad idea because 1. It shows, invariably (most women will be either too polite or frankly too bored to call you out on that). 2. It's unnecessary. Choose one that takes your fancy and make her feel special - that'll earn you more points than randomly hitting up anyone with a pulse.
Shining One Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Choose one that takes your fancy and make her feel special - that'll earn you more points than randomly hitting up anyone with a pulse.I'd recommend against making any woman feel special until she's actually special. I've been there, done that too many times.
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I'd recommend against making any woman feel special until she's actually special. I've been there, done that too many times. Why would want to make a woman feel special unless you genuinely think she is in any case?
Shining One Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Why would want to make a woman feel special unless you genuinely think she is in any case? A combination of unequal levels of interest and youthful stupidity.
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