Do You Ever Get Bored Of Your Girlfriend?

[Zapbasket]

Well, you can still do that all without ever getting married. I have quite a different point of view about that. For me marriage is just a paper you sign. I know women love the idea. But honestly, it's just an old fashion belief that doesn't seem to be very effective, since so many people get divorce nowadays.

 

And money is one of the biggest reasons why people get divorce in the first place. So yeah, money is more important than marriage so it's not an excuse.

 

I would just like to have both. A great girlfriend and meet other women. But I know that's out of question so I must decide.

 

Fortunately, everything eventually must come to a conclusion. But thanks for the reply Gaeta.

 

There are myriad other ways to "sow your wild oats" than just casually dating other women. I mean, yes, sometimes it really is about the thrill of real sexual conquest, sometimes just the thrill of the possibility of such without intent to act on it...but sometimes people tell themselves they're looking for something they think can be found in the freedom to casually date, when really it can be found in something else. For instance: solo travel, starting your own business, taking up a sport with a bit of risk such as climbing, ski mountaineering, river rafting, etc., meeting new PEOPLE, men and women.

 

I just see so many people mistake their "prison" as their committed relationship, when really it's their own mindset about themselves and their lives...and of course it's easier to project your elusive feelings out onto the easiest culprit, a.k.a. your relationship.

 

Do you think any of this might apply to you, Brian? Here's an exercise: imagine telling your girlfriend that you are feeling like you've lost touch with yourself, and you want to go solo traveling for a month. Imagine that she'd raise no opposition to it, and nor would she worry that you were leaving her. Now imagine your adventures over that month. Be specific. Does the fantasy make you feel more connected to yourself, to your "wild" side?

 

I think you need to really examine your feelings, because a truly wonderful partner is hard to find. I also think you need to communicate more clearly with your girlfriend about your sex life. You guys have got to fix that, and it sounds like the lack in that department is at least partly responsible for your craving to meet other women. Just remember, that no matter who you end up with, there always will be some problems. Nothing is perfect. If you already have something wonderful, someone you really love and see a future with, this whole site is a testimony to the regret one feels when they've let go of something good.

 

At the same time, you shouldn't have to spend years of your life feeling trapped. It's just...there might be much more creative and ultimately fulfilling solutions to your situation than "meeting women."

[Gaeta]

Well, you can still do that all without ever getting married. I have quite a different point of view about that. For me marriage is just a paper you sign. I know women love the idea. But honestly, it's just an old fashion belief that doesn't seem to be very effective, since so many people get divorce nowadays.

 

Your own post # 20

 

I have change a lot since then and yes, my girlfriend is a wonderful woman. I would definitely marry her.

 

My point was not about being married and a piece of paper. My point was about being a couple, escalating your relationship, making a commitment toward each other whether it's a marriage or not it's irrelevant.

[GunslingerRoland]

 

I miss being single and having the chance of going out with my buddies and meeting other women. Since I am in a relationship, I need to report each time I go out with my buddies, what I am going to do, and meeting other women sexually, sure is out of the scene.

 

 

 

I think that is a normal adjustment part of settling down. There is a lack of freedom that comes with being in a relationship for sure. It should be overall worth the tradeoff though.

 

 

 

Yet, I still feel seriously bored while talking to her on the phone; or even when I am with her. Sure, not always but sometimes I just do.

 

 

But this isn't really normal IMO. Have you always been bored talking to her? It seems like you might not have that much in common?

 

 

Something also I find boring is she's not very sexually adventurous. Plenty of times before, I tried having sex with her in riskier places but she feel so uncomfortable that I've stopped doing it. And she already told me the doesn't enjoy it.

 

So sex has become like a routine.

 

Public sex isn't the only way to spice up a sex life. If that is something that is hugely important to you, there maybe a compatibility issue. But as you get older you'll probably find less and less women are really into that.

[Emilia]

There are myriad other ways to "sow your wild oats" than just casually dating other women. I mean, yes, sometimes it really is about the thrill of real sexual conquest, sometimes just the thrill of the possibility of such without intent to act on it...but sometimes people tell themselves they're looking for something they think can be found in the freedom to casually date, when really it can be found in something else. For instance: solo travel, starting your own business, taking up a sport with a bit of risk such as climbing, ski mountaineering, river rafting, etc., meeting new PEOPLE, men and women.

 

I just see so many people mistake their "prison" as their committed relationship, when really it's their own mindset about themselves and their lives...and of course it's easier to project your elusive feelings out onto the easiest culprit, a.k.a. your relationship.

 

Do you think any of this might apply to you, Brian? Here's an exercise: imagine telling your girlfriend that you are feeling like you've lost touch with yourself, and you want to go solo traveling for a month. Imagine that she'd raise no opposition to it, and nor would she worry that you were leaving her. Now imagine your adventures over that month. Be specific. Does the fantasy make you feel more connected to yourself, to your "wild" side?

 

I think you need to really examine your feelings, because a truly wonderful partner is hard to find. I also think you need to communicate more clearly with your girlfriend about your sex life. You guys have got to fix that, and it sounds like the lack in that department is at least partly responsible for your craving to meet other women. Just remember, that no matter who you end up with, there always will be some problems. Nothing is perfect. If you already have something wonderful, someone you really love and see a future with, this whole site is a testimony to the regret one feels when they've let go of something good.

 

At the same time, you shouldn't have to spend years of your life feeling trapped. It's just...there might be much more creative and ultimately fulfilling solutions to your situation than "meeting women."

Probably one of the best posts I've seen on Loveshack about personal fulfillment.

[Popsicle]

when you get married, you have to like the idea of being stuck (yes, stuck) with one person more than being on your own, so if this bothers you, then you probably aren't cut out for a LTR.

[carhill]

Do You Ever Get Bored Of Your Girlfriend?

 

Can't say I ever had a GF for four years but one word I'd never ascribe to my exW was boring