SilverS4 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Good morning LoveShack, So this is my second thread since I've become a member. It involves the same individual from that thread. In order to remain as concise as possible, I've attached some background story and my original thread. We met in undergrad through a mutual friend and also currently share two mutual friends. There was a falling out (cliche), we stopped talking for eight years. In January of this year, we met up with our mutual friend at star bucks. Everything went well and civil. I sent a FB message later that evening expressing that I had wanted to apologize in person and make things right. She agreed, we met up a couple of days later and I gave a heart felt apology. So, fast forwarding to today's date here is where things stand. Were both in relationships and doing well. However, my current status is up in the air as I'm struggling to make that choice to break things off or not. She is with a great guy but has some sort of reservation that no one knows about? She claims to really like the guy, even her friends and family like the individual. This guy is madly in love with her but she seems hung up on me. From what our mutual friend is saying we both seem to be hung up on each other. She is in denial about it but the facts don't lie. I was asked why I still had such strong feeling for her after so long and how she treated me. I just said that I love her unconditionally so the past is past. Our mutual friend then said to me to explain why? I did, I stated that I'd had a flame since we met and that she is one of the only people I'd ever connected to. I just want someone who'd reciprocate the same amount of love I have to give back at me. This weekend my friend and I were practicing yoga and she came up. This added three hours and a trip to froyo before we started... Now the shocking part is what he revealed to me. He said that she still held a little grudge and that she's in denial about having feelings for me. He told me about her situation and said how she is still hung up on me and everyone can see. So the questions I have are; What does the current bf think? I'm sure the idea of his love being taken by another guy has him sweating bullets. I'm a patient guy but wounds run deep and I'm not for being crushed again. I'm looking out for myself and feel as if I should just ignore it all. My heart want's to be with her but this complicated situation has my head spinning. I know she is in a difficult situation herself as she is in the same situation. Do I stay where I'm currently at in safety or go for the unknown? I've already made the decision to pursue her. However, given her current relationship status, I shall not do such a thing. I'm patient remember, It's been 8-9 years, whats 8-9 more? lol oiy... hmm... let me see if there is anymore important pieces of info... What's in her reservations that I'm not picking up on? So far all the cookie crumbs that she has left have me at a fork in the road... If she is indeed trying to hint at something, it's over my head... Original thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/509475-here-goes
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Put the ball in her court. Send her a message: "Do you want to try 'us' again?" Then sit back and wait. Sorted.
Author SilverS4 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 hmm, that is a good idea Tara. It seems as if that's what she may be hinting? What would be the best way of accomplishing this?
Author SilverS4 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 I do have her number... oiy... I"m scattered brained now thinking of what to say. As far as how to present it I'm good BUT how to say everything the right way.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I do have her number... oiy... I"m scattered brained now thinking of what to say. As far as how to present it I'm good BUT how to say everything the right way. I told you. simple one-liner. "Do you want to try being 'us' again?" She'll get it. The more you say, the more she will have to process, and the more convoluted her response will be. Keep it simple. Nothing could be simpler, or more easily understood. If she plays dumb ("what do you mean?" or "I don't understand...") then walk away. She'll be playing with you, trying to draw you out. Don't let her play games. Keep it short and to the point. Then she has nothing to play with.
Author SilverS4 Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 Thank you fearless leader, I'm going to send it in Chinese though. Is that a problem? She doesn't know that I've been learning.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Yes. That's just more 'game-playing' ... ...."look at me, aren't I clever...?!" That's something to reveal f2f, not in a text or pm....
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