cejay Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Hi Folks, I've been dating a woman for about 8 months. We're in our 30s, live apart, no kids involved. Its an OK relationship, but thats the problem, it's only OK. After a lot of contemplation, I want to end it. I don't love her and I just want to be alone. I don't want to date anyone and want a break to work on myself & career. We mostly get along. We've had a few "big talks" here and there but no huge bumps and she doesn't see this coming. I have very little experience ending relationships. My question is: How can I give her some sort of a heads up, so that she's not blind sided? CJ.
2016forme Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Dear Cejay, There is nothing wrong with telling your girlfriend the honest truth. Be relaxed, calm, cool and collected before you tell her that you need to end the relationship and focus on things for yourself. You don't have to go off into a long explanation or anything. But just express that you have cherished your times together. BUT, tell her that it's time for your relationship to come to an end so that you can pursue other things. It's best that you tell her now so that she is not blind sided! That way, you will have closure. You and your former girlfriend will not be bitter towards each other. As you approach the end of your relationship with your girlfriend, see if you can approach her in a manner that doesn't leave a"salty taste in her mouth. " Good luck.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Hi Folks, I've been dating a woman for about 8 months. We're in our 30s, live apart, no kids involved. Its an OK relationship, but thats the problem, it's only OK. After a lot of contemplation, I want to end it. I don't love her and I just want to be alone. I don't want to date anyone and want a break to work on myself & career. We mostly get along. We've had a few "big talks" here and there but no huge bumps and she doesn't see this coming. I have very little experience ending relationships. My question is: How can I give her some sort of a heads up, so that she's not blind sided? CJ. You can't. That's like asking, "How can I cross this chasm, as it has no bridge, and I want to take three small steps doing it?" Some things are inevitable. The best way to do it is to do it face to face, and to be civil. Pick your moment well, though.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 You can't really give her a "heads-up". Just have that difficult talk with her. Chances are, if you've had a couple "big talks" already, she probably intuits that something isn't quite right anyway. We ladies have a sharp instinct for things like this.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Yes, I think she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Drop it.
smudge21 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 It will hurt her either way, you can't avoid that. But at least you'll be honest with her, and even though she'll not see that now, she may do later on.. and appreciate it in the long run. The fact you're worried about this shows you care - so many on here get dumped by people who simply don't give a f**k. Plus, being open about it, telling her upfront, no matter how harsh is a lot better than just ghosting on them. Good luck.
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