masaki1085 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 (I also posted this in the In Search Of... forum) There is this girl that I work with at the movie theater where we are both employed that I have kinda taken interest in. Here's the scoop: We've both worked there a couple years (off an on, because we both leave the job for school). We joke around with each other at the theater very casually, but nothing really that flirtatiously. We don't hang out ever outside of work, but we chitchat every once so often on AIM. In addition, although we work at the same job, it is seldom that we work a same shift. Pretty much, we are just work-buddies. Although, last night when we worked, she said we should get together sometime and hang out when we are back at school (we go to schools about 30 minutes from each other in Ohio, but we've never hung out). I also had a girlfriend for the past 3 years and we went our separate ways about 4 months ago, so this interest with this girl that I work with has not been a prolonged interest--it kinda sparked out of nowhere. I am interested in asking this lady out, but I have some reservations, mostly having to do with the fact that I really do not know her THAT well, and vice versa. I don't know if she has any interest in me, either. She seems like a really fun and sweet girl and she is pretty attractive, and I would not mind getting to know her better. She seems like she is my type. Anyhow, I wonder if I should just throw caution to the wind and ask, just to see what happens. Maybe I should suggest that we hang out sometime (before school) and grab a drink or a cup of coffee together. Something like that. I don't work with her for awhile, so I dunno when I'll see her again. :\ I really don't feel either away about the result of asking--I don't feel like it would be the end of the world if she said no. I'm just kinda interested in asking and seeing where it leads. Anyways, any advice on how I should handle this? Thanks for reading. Let me know if more information is necessary for advice, but I think I covered the gist of my problem.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by masaki1085 I am interested in asking this lady out, but I have some reservations, mostly having to do with the fact that I really do not know her THAT well, and vice versa. I don't know if she has any interest in me, either. She seems like a really fun and sweet girl and she is pretty attractive, and I would not mind getting to know her better. She seems like she is my type. Well, seems to me like you're never know her better if you don't spend one-on-one time together out of work. If she's sweet and you like her, stop being a wuss, take your life in your own hands and go have a coffee with her. It will probably kill you, or cause your head to spin and drop off, but you have to take these risks occasionally... Although, last night when we worked, she said we should get together sometime and hang out when we are back at school (we go to schools about 30 minutes from each other in Ohio, but we've never hung out). Can't think what to suggest... what on earth should you do? For crying out loud, what more do you need? Writing in the sky? For her to roll out a red carpet and play a fanfare? Do it! Do it! Do it!
justagirl1121 Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 here's my advice tho i dont know how much of it u can rely on. i'm kind of u in this game. i like a guy, prob mor than u like this girl, and i dont know if he's intereted. but in my pov, i would like the guy to make the move, mostly b/c im not sure of this interest i guess..... my guy and i teased each other and flirted (i guess we were flirting) and he's come out with a few people a couple times, and i've talked to him 2 x since we left our job. i'm afriad to ask him out, but i have asked him a couple times to hang out. he did once, came by himself....next two times a no go. but once he was actually already busy with an out of town trip....second time was last minute... my suggestion is, it's hard to know what someone else is thinking, when you're DYING to know. she did mention u two should hang out. so ask her to hang out. i wouldnt suggest a movie as that might make things uncomfortable. i dont know if either of u are old enough to drink, or even if u do that....go to a club. or go have coffee after dinner. if u are not that shy, just flat out say ' i am going to come right out and say it. i think you're cool. i am asking you out to.....(name a place) on (name a day and time).... and see what she says.... that's what i wish someone would say to me....i mean maybe you're not interested at first, but i dont see why ppl can't give it a try and see waht comes of it.....
Author masaki1085 Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Thanks for the excellent advice everyone! One last problem I forgot to mention: I am not sure when the next time we will work with each other may be. We tend to never be scheduled on same shifts. I don't have her phone number. Do you think it would be worthwhile to casually ask to hang out over IM (usually I hate IM for things like this, but I figure it may be okay in this case)? Also, I really don't know that much about her life outside of work, so I am not sure if she has a boyfriend or is dating someone or not. Perhaps I should just bite the bullet and ask, and see what happens. I wouldn't be heartbroken if she was taken or anything. Sorry if it seems like I am answering my own inquiry for advice. I'm a pretty shy dude, so sometimes I get pretty nervous about something so seemingly simple. Thanks again, everyone!
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by masaki1085 Perhaps I should just bite the bullet and ask, and see what happens. Go for it! I'm a pretty shy dude, so sometimes I get pretty nervous about something so seemingly simple. Thanks again, everyone! Our pleasure. Originally posted by Rosalind Never date a co-worker. Read the OP, not just the thread title, before giving advice. They don't often work together and are both going back to school in a few months.
Rosalind Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Read the OP, not just the thread title, before giving advice. Thankyou so much for critiquing my post....after having carefully read the thread in it's entirety, and responding to a topic I have personal experience in. So nice of you to let me know that only your opinion is what matters, and any advice I have to offer is worthless. Thanks again.
westernxer Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind Never date a co-worker. Exactly!!!!!
Author masaki1085 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Posted June 22, 2005 While she's a coworker, we rarely see each other. I usually work this job these days about 1-2 shifts a week, and our shifts rarely ever coincide. I understand how risky it is to date a coworker. Actually, there a lot of relationships within the theater I work at, coworkers all dating each other. It happens. If it became awkward though with this girl, I could always just ask my manager to not schedule me with her. It wouldn't be difficult. Really, the story I presented is more about the girl herself and my current position with her, as opposed to simply the situation dating a coworker. Thanks for everyone's input!
westernxer Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Just invite her out somewhere... say "hey, want to get some coffee tonight?" If she says no (or some other excuse), don't make a big deal about it, but don't sucker up to her either.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind Thankyou so much for critiquing my post....after having carefully read the thread in it's entirety, and responding to a topic I have personal experience in. Sorry, Ros, yesterday was not a good day for me. And to be fair, the personal experience didn't come out in your first post - it really did look like just a random criticism of Masaki. But since you have a relevant experience, feel free to share
Author masaki1085 Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Before I had any opportunity to ask to hang out sometime, we were talking on IM and she invites me to some party tomorrow night with her and her friend. Weird. We've just started talking more recently on IM then we ever have in all of the time we've work with each other. An invitation to a party with her was very unexpected. I shouldn't look into it too much, as she might just be a really friendly person (and she is very friendly at work, too), but it at least gives me an opportunity to hang out with her. We exchanged numbers to discuss what is happening tomorrow. I'm excited, but I'm not sure what to make of it. Except for an opportunity, of course. Any input?
westernxer Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Just be yourself, and talk to other girls when you're there, just to give her a challenge. You don't know her intentions yet, so play it cool.
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