Dente Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Would you take your ex back after 2 years of being break up and constant lying and stringing along. after being in a relationship ? Would you take them back?
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 No, niet, non, never, jamais, mai piu, negative, that's a big F**k that, fer a game of soldiers. 5
Draper Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Every day that you spend stuck on something that will never work, who knows how many chances you could be giving up to meet someone far better for you. There's a many things in life that just aren't worth fighting for - this is one of em'. 2
Arieswoman Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Dente, Would you take your ex back after 2 years of being break up and constant lying and stringing along. after being in a relationship ? Would you take them back? Not unless I had a bad case of masochism - which I don't
todreaminblue Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 no.....break ups happen because they should.......the problems that were there to break up a relationship for me are not resolvable....i used to feel i wanted my ex back and i was going to fight for him..a mental clarity.....then....i started to see things for what they were instead of what i wanted them to be...and its over and was over as soon as the words were said...its over...... deb 3
Jabron1 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 I'm 90% sure I could get my ex back. But, it's between her and my pride. There's only ever going to be one winner there 1
LostOnes05 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Nope. I'd never give someone the opportunity to lie and cheat on me twice. I don't care if she became Mother Teresa-like, not a chance. Because the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Miss.A Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 If both people have worked on and improved themselves. Then maybe... if you both still had feelings for each other, and the break wasn't bad or for something like cheating, lying, abuse or anything like that... then maybe. Its a case by case scenario. I know plenty of people who have gotten back with their ex and ended in marriage. Not saying that its a for sure thing, and that its easy. But both people need to work on it and things.
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 My ex didn't cheat but he'd become a paranoid mess after his ex's multi-cheating and was constantly controlling me, demanding I told him my whereabouts, would snoop on my phone and emails (even professional ones), would turn up to places he knew I'd be to make sure I was were I said I was. I left. But...... He promised he'd sort himself out / go to therapy / let me breathe / trust me, etc. So I took him back. Biggest mistake I've ever made. Predictably, it was more of the same and worse. So my answer is no, based on experience.
Steven1 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 For your situation, not sure. Probably not. Would depend on the lies etc. Trust is a huge thing, if that was gone then probably not, no. Would I take my ex back? After dating for 7 years, I think quite possibly I would. But having said that, I trust her a lot less now and she put me through quite a lot in the final few month. It would all have to be on my terms if we were to ever get back.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 Good heavens, no. I've seen very few cases in which exes successfully reunited. (Though my brother and his now-wife are one of those cases) But in my case? I'd hope my friends would cart me to the nearest doctor to have my head checked if I ever decided to reconcile with him. Not happening. 3
keiji Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I wouldn't, and even if I did, it would last what, one week? Two? The incompatibility would still be there. It's not like we just have to change some habits to make it work. We're emotionally very different. The problem is I can't say many bad things about her if I'm honest. It's just the classic "it doesn't work and never will", which makes a bit more difficult somehow. So yes, I miss her, but I wouldn't take her back. 1
Author Dente Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 The reason im asking is the break up was mainly my fault because i took her for granted and wasn't advance in the relationship. I asked her for a second chance at the beginning of the breakup but she said ok but then switch her mind and started dating another guy and text me(which was a little immature that she didnt want to try) i was hurt but i accepted her decision because of my actions and let her be. She got into a new relationship and would complain to me about the guy shes with i didnt listen to her complains but told her thats what she wanted. Each month of last year she would tell me she wants out and want us to try again and even wanted to date me while shes with this guy. We met a few times to talk about reconciliation but nothing ever happen. This went on for a whole year it started to effected me. So i set my pride in and said to myself no more i stop all contact and if she would contact me i would bascially tell her to f' off she explain to me shes affraid to return and is trying to manage that and she handle the breakup bad and shes with this guy because she ran because she was in pain because of my actions i understood where shes coming from but not to treat me this way for almost 2 years. Shes still in her current relationship and saya shes miserable and not happy. She does things to grab my attention but i brush it off. She also tells me that its my fault i put her where she is...she got some nerves. One day i put a photo up of a girl i dated maybe one day it was the same girl she took off when we went to a concert and she freak out and called me crying how can i do such a thing...she has soms nerves she with a guy for more than a year sleepin with him etc etc. i take one pic she said shes reliving the same pains i put her thru and this was after a year post break up... I think in her mind she thinks ill take her back anyday which at the moment that chance is getting slim. With all this information would you take her back?
Zahara Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 She's only swinging back to you because she's in a bad relationship. No, you would be nuts to go back.
ty10 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 There's only two ways ex's get back together and successfully, in my opinion. 1 - It was a heat of the moment decision and the dumper comes back pretty much straight away and aims to reconcile. 2 - Years have passed where both have completely moved on and grown as individuals - maturity and communication being the main two ingredients in that growing period and the issues that caused the first break have been resolved. Even then there's no guarantee it could work. I'd say if you're not in either one of those categories then there is little to no chance. 1
Rockdad Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I wouldn't take my ex back even if my hair was on fire and she was holding a water hose.
Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I'm a perfect testament to why you should not take your ex's back.. Whether it be my ExW or and old ExGF if I had taken any of them back I certainly would not be where I am today... Happily married for almost 9 years and an 8 year old boy who is the reason getting up everyday is sooo worthwhile and cool. So I'm glad I never took any of my Ex's back.. even though the opportunity was there or presented itself.. I thank GOD that I was so lucky.. Why ruin the other chances you would have in your life with others ? 1
Bravedave Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 I disagree. I have been dumped and been the dumper, most likely unless it was infidelity it could be reconciled if issues were brought to the surface, acknowledged, and worked through
Shiggs Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Even though my break up wasn't as bad as yours, I still wouldn't take her back. Not unless we've both grown a lot and are more mature than before. Maybe when we're in different places in our lives. But I'm not holding on out for that.. You shouldn't either unless she's a completely different person. Even then, I'd be weary especially in your situation.
Jabron1 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 The reason im asking is the break up was mainly my fault because i took her for granted and wasn't advance in the relationship. I asked her for a second chance at the beginning of the breakup but she said ok but then switch her mind and started dating another guy and text me(which was a little immature that she didnt want to try) i was hurt but i accepted her decision because of my actions and let her be. She got into a new relationship and would complain to me about the guy shes with i didnt listen to her complains but told her thats what she wanted. Each month of last year she would tell me she wants out and want us to try again and even wanted to date me while shes with this guy. We met a few times to talk about reconciliation but nothing ever happen. This went on for a whole year it started to effected me. So i set my pride in and said to myself no more i stop all contact and if she would contact me i would bascially tell her to f' off she explain to me shes affraid to return and is trying to manage that and she handle the breakup bad and shes with this guy because she ran because she was in pain because of my actions i understood where shes coming from but not to treat me this way for almost 2 years. Shes still in her current relationship and saya shes miserable and not happy. She does things to grab my attention but i brush it off. She also tells me that its my fault i put her where she is...she got some nerves. One day i put a photo up of a girl i dated maybe one day it was the same girl she took off when we went to a concert and she freak out and called me crying how can i do such a thing...she has soms nerves she with a guy for more than a year sleepin with him etc etc. i take one pic she said shes reliving the same pains i put her thru and this was after a year post break up... I think in her mind she thinks ill take her back anyday which at the moment that chance is getting slim. With all this information would you take her back? Here's how you deal with a woman like this. The next time she texts or calls you, you need to tell her 'let's go for a drink'. If she refuses or makes excuses not to go, you say 'I'm busy right now, I'll call you back', and end the call. Don't call her back. Forget about her. Go after different women instead. If she comes back around, and calls or texts you again, you need to tell her 'let's go for a drink'. If she refuses or makes excuses... You see how this works? Eventually she'll either stop wasting your time, or she'll do something actually worthy of keeping your attention. Stop cheapening your attention by giving it to her for free. Also, stop prioritizing a relationship with this woman (she isn't girlfriend material), and start prioritizing sex instead. If you go out for drinks, make it about getting laid, not about sitting there and talking over your 'relationship'. Talking about this 'relationship' is just her exploiting you for attention.
ASG Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Not in a million years. Even as we broke up, as I was devastated, I knew damn well we were NEVER getting back together.
AVeryConfusedGuy Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I would take her back, but only if the time and reasoning was right. I was with her for 4 years and she was my first, so heavy feelings were involved between the 2 of us. She broke up with me 3 months ago to 'find herself' and she hasn't reached out once, which makes me assume she's doing fine for herself. I don't resent the breakup, but I resent that she left me and just never contacted me again. 3 months no contact in my opinion is too long after the years we had together and makes me feel like she doesn't care, which makes me resent her. If I were to take my ex back, she'd have to show up at my door and apologize and say she made the worst mistake/decision by leaving me. But she's too stubborn to do that, so I guess that's my answer lol.
BC1980 Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 I wouldn't take my ex back because I could never trust him again. Case closed.
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