cabbagelady Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 (edited) My ex has alot of friends. We're in college We dated for 3 months but I broke up with him for several reasons. First, his friends didn't like me and always started drama with me. They would gossip, call me a attention seeker, call me shady and they wouldnt talk to me when my ex would bring me to hang out. My ex got depressed over this so I tried to help him but i couldnt help but feel like i just made his life worse. I had to deal with alot of drama from them. He would not defend me or anything. Eventually they stopped talking to him and I felt very guilty. He was also pushy for sex, i am sensitive to this because i am a rape victim. He knows this but he still kept being pushy when I gave himvalot of chances to stop. Another reason is because i also got stressed with my dad having cancer, I had to take care of him alot. School, the drama, and losing my dad was tearing me apart so I broke up with my ex. He continued to try to get me to date again when i kept saying no, it went on for 5 months. In January I decided to move on and start a relationship with my best friend who has always supported me. Our relationship is fantastic. I came back to college this year. I left for 7 months to take care of my dad. Well, i am alone there now. Everyone has made a rumor that i lied about my dad having cancer and that I actually cheated on my ex all this time. The whole student lounge hates me and for the past 4 months they post about me on facebook, saying that i am ungrateful, i hurt my ex and he went through hell for me. Last night my boyfriend made me block them all so I don't read their mean posts. my ex would tell me things like "hey i know you went through alot, you can do it, i want you to be happy~" then later in the night, he texts me about how he worked hard just to make me happy. my ex said "want to know why everyone went cold feet on you?" then he sent me pictures of someone i thought was my friend talking about me in a chat, the person in the chat was calling me ungrateful and i dont deserve a man like my ex and im cow ****. they post things on facebook about how women in this generation is ungrateful and are all about "ME ME ME" and it is referring to me. I got angry and sent a final message to my ex saying that i tried to make him happy but i had my own life to deal with. Now all his friends are ganging up on me calling me ungrateful and to leave him alone. So im ignoring everyone now. He sent me messages saying he tried to help me and now I lost something good. I lost alot of friends at college too over this break up but i dont care now because they are doing this to me. They all care about my ex so much because hes sensitive and cries alot at school. Im lost. I admit that in the past, i could have handled his friends drama more better. but it was hard. I am exhausted and stressed from all this drama. I am alone at college now and they laugh at me for that. My boyfriend wanted to yell at them but i didnt let him. I am 19, my boyfriend is 28, and my ex is 21, and his friends are 21 and older. This has made me very depressed and suicidal. I dont like to harm anyone or make drama and i dont do drugs or sleep around like they say i do. I'm just a quiet girl that likes anime... is it possible that i really am ungrateful? could i have handled this situation better? how was i supposed to react to my ex showing me screenshot pictures and telling me i lost something good? Maybe I shouldn't have gotten angry? I don't go around telling people about our old relationship, why does he go around doing that? I dealt with bullying all my life so at this point I'm so exhausted... I am sorry for the bad grammar. I don't type so well when i am stressed. Edited May 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
ExpatInItaly Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Oh dear. First of all, I am sorry about your father. What a terrible time this has been for you. Second, you are not ungrateful. Your ex sounds like a manipulative little crybaby with a fragile ego. This is a case of sour grapes gone terribly awry. You saw red flags and did the right thing by ending it with him. Look at how immaturely he is behaving now. That is why he does this; he's a little boy in an adult's body. Third, does you college offer counseling services? Most do. Please seek support, and call their emergency hotline if you're feeling suicidal. It sounds like you're dealing with an awful lot even apart from this current situation with your ex. Counselors can really be great resources. Fourth, your boyfriend was correct in telling you to block these people. Do you live on-campus? It sounds as though you do; if so, is it possible to request a transfer to a different residence? If you can speak to a Resident Adviser or other housing services, they might just be able to help you find alternate accommodation. You should not be anywhere near these people. Fifth, end all communication with your ex. Delete his number from your phone. I understand you were angry when you sent that last message to him. But it will be best in the long-run when he no longer gets a reaction from you. He is trying to provoke you. But he will soon get bored when he sees zero reaction. So will the others who participate in this circus. Then he will look like a chump who can't move on from a girl he dated for 12 weeks. 3
jen1447 Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Best way to handle that juvenile crap is ignore. If you don't play ball at all they'll get bored. Might take a while but if you engage you'll be certain to extend it, so counterproductive. Really you don't want rumor-mongers or emotional children in your social circle anyway so no big loss. And you've got your BF to lean on so you should be fine. You'll make other friends. Also denying a thing - no matter how ridiculous the thing or accusation is - just makes you look guilty. Guilty ppl have to defend positions and do spin and all that, innocent ppl don't. The truth speaks for itself, and all the hangers on will realize eventually they were had by your ex. You'll be fine. 2
Author cabbagelady Posted May 1, 2016 Author Posted May 1, 2016 Thank you for the replies, I will seek counseling on my campus and I deleted my ex's number. Another reason im hurt is because the people who are doing this are also the people I thought were my friends
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