tangotango Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Hi Everyone, I cannot believe on the 5th of May it has been a year since I first posted to you on here about my break up. Well I moved out of our rented home just before Christmas. I found my own place and was able to move out. She moved back from her mums to the house to live as she couldn't take it at her Mums. Last month out of the blue she sent a random text saying 'Hi'... I responded but did not get too involved with it. This last week we have been meeting at the house and clearing out our stuff - and I could not believe how she had been living on her own in the house... Needless to say she had been drinking quite a lot and living/sleeping in the lounge all these months. All the various things I left as reminders of our time together were still present as well as photos of us. I believe that on the day she sent that random text she must have been by herself feeling some regret as she had still maintained her minimal contact up to that point. I am posting my keys back through the door later - but this last week of seeing her, chatting, laughing, watching our stuff being chucked or donated has re-ignited all those feelings all over again. She still has all our holidays on Facebook, photos of us together.. All the things she stated when she left have changed - and she can see that. My job has changed- its now more money, less days and no stress. She said I was too dependent on her all those years - clearly now I'm self sufficient... I've lost weight, happier.. Heres the million dollar questions guys... DO I try and do something about it and speak to her... DO I leave it be and just carry on with the moving on.. I miss her and I can honestly say my love for her has never changed in the last year. I just wish we could have another go...
gimlynick Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Well... Apparently you are not over her and she is not over you so... Date her! :-) Why would you ignore your feelings if she still has the same thing?
K2z Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 A short, non-needy note to her might--- MIGHT-- be in order. It has been a year, you have respected her space, you have improved yourself. If you can be in contact with her without melting like sugar candy, maybe it could be the right thing to do. Get more advice here, and perhaps run a draft of whatever note you might send here as well. I'd make it no more than three sentences, and not a lot of heavy hand-wringing.
Author tangotango Posted April 30, 2016 Author Posted April 30, 2016 Thanks for the responses guys. I went round and dropped my keys in and her mum was there cleaning the house a bit before it gets handed back today. She was not there as she is in work... Her mum was really nice, I got a little upset seeing the house the way it was when we first moved in. I asked her mum how she's has been - and apparently she got really upset yesterday about the whole thing. I said to her mum that I wish she would see things differently and she come straight back and apologised for saying this but she said 'I think she has moved on - she is the happiest I've seen her for a while'... But then in the next breath she started asking if I'd met someone else yet?? How can you say your daughter is happy, in the next she was really upset over the whole thing yesterday?? It hurts really bad to hear her mum say that but in the same token if true I'm happy she is happy. I just don't know what to believe any more - I don't know what to do or should I just give up. I called her to let her know that I had dropped my keys in, and mentioned what her mum had said and she agreed that was harsh and then I could tell she got a bit upset and wanted to get off the phone as she was in work... I'm lost
kgcolonel Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Just read some of your past posts....If you're really bent on getting to the brass tacks.....call her, ask her to meet for coffee and see if she's open to a slow dating period (if she's not already seeing someone else, if she is, wish her well). Tell her that you feel you're in a different place work and lifestyle now that would resolve some of the issues that were responsible on your side for the failed relationship. Sit back and let her absorb this and accept whatever answer she gives. kg
Author tangotango Posted May 1, 2016 Author Posted May 1, 2016 I think that after a few days to allow her to calm down after she got emotional when our rented house was given back - I will contact her and speak to her. I'll see if she wants to meet up and go from there... I literally have no idea how to approach the conversation as she will almost certainly have her guard up.. Any suggestions?
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