Question for those who had or are having [an affair] in the workplace

April 30, 2016

If you are having or have had an A in the workplace, do you think that the A lasts longer than it should or would if you didn't work together? I would think that it might, because the APs know that when they break off the A it will be hard to have to work together and see each other all of the time, so they keep the affair going, even when it's not what they want. What are some opinions?

Edited April 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Clarify title and move to GRD

April 30, 2016

Don't do it! I didn't originally want to but I ended up going there. And it ended but it's always bubbling. It's not good. That person is around ALL the time. And it's 1000x times more difficult to unattach when that person is around you.

Nightmare.

Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 30, 2016

The best thing is not to even start it!!!!

Affair is never good! And it keeps hunting you, often also when you found a partner and think you can live happy now.

Its ruin your reputation work wise and private. People talk!

No one ever smile when they hear someone is having a affair.

And i think whatever way the best is not to be around the person atall.

So if it did happen, best is to change job. go work someone else and learn from this.

Dont do affairs, respect other peoples relationships. And dont date at work atall!

Be more serious of your income and professionalism. You ddnt study all those years to end up as affair partner of someone.

April 30, 2016

There are some religious people who believe in the concept of 'Hell'.

'Hell' is having an affair at work.

'Purgatory' is, too.

Life is a good teacher. An affair at work is a BIG lesson. It all depends on whether you're dumb enough to skimp on the coursework.

April 30, 2016

Whats he talking about??

April 30, 2016

I met my exAP through work. I tried so many times to end it, but seeing him there would ignite the addiction and I just didn't have the strength to say 'no'. I used to feel physically sick at the thought of going in, waiting for him to turn up, wondering when we would see each other to converse. The chats, the looks, just knowing his presence was so close kept me in the affair fog. I couldn't concentrate and felt like a mad person. During the A, I changed work arrangements so I now no longer work on the same day as him.

Now the A is over, I still find it hard to work there, even though I never see him, because it causes me so many triggers. I receive group work emails, and just seeing his name in the address list is horrible. I dread people organising work events/socials (it doesn't happen often, luckily), but of course, my first thought is him. There is absolutely no way I would've found the strength to end it if I still had to see him at work, and would've definitely had to resign.

I'm looking for a new job now, and that's just because of environment triggers - I don't even see him there!

April 30, 2016

LondonGirl, you are so so right. I was the OM and she changes her shifts in two weeks time to avoid mine. She won't keep away from me. And...you don't really want them to, even if you do.

I dread going into work now. Anxiety, pain, the knowing that everyone KNOWS. Up until recent weeks, I've been taking beta blockers before I go into work.

Like you say, even though we're not gonna be on the same shifts soon, I know she's still gonna be *there*. And even though I love my job and I've been there a lot longer than her and am a valued, popular employee, I feel I should go.

It's really, really bad. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

April 30, 2016

LondonGirl, you are so so right. I was the OM and she changes her shifts in two weeks time to avoid mine. She won't keep away from me. And...you don't really want them to, even if you do.

I dread going into work now. Anxiety, pain, the knowing that everyone KNOWS. Up until recent weeks, I've been taking beta blockers before I go into work.

Like you say, even though we're not gonna be on the same shifts soon, I know she's still gonna be *there*. And even though I love my job and I've been there a lot longer than her and am a valued, popular employee, I feel I should go.

It's really, really bad. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Me too with the beta blockers! I was so wound up at the thought of seeing him. They didn't help though - I needed something to cure my deranged mind!

April 30, 2016

There was a point around 18 months to nearly two years back where I ended the affair before anything had happened. God I was in a bad state. I used to shake like a leaf when I saw her around...like, PROPER shake!! I was 39 at the time!!! I used to be a feared rugby league player and now I'm shaking like an alky with the DTs over a woman!!!! Had to take Diazepams at one point!!!

Only got ten more shifts with her and I always carry my Propranolol around with me, just in case. But inside, I'm getting this 'drifting away' feeling, just let the fortnight run its course and see how I feel. The wheels are in place to break us apart now and I won't fight them.

April 30, 2016

Lasts much Longer! Not only is the presence and proximity always there to bring you closer but the other aspect is that it becomes more like a relationship and not just an affair.

Affair is normally categorized as you see that person only sometimes and usually in a bubble of reality.

If you have affair at work then you end up more emotionally tied. You have lunch, coffee, conversation, might travel together and in general become more close like a real couple. You have good times, bad times, and just normal times.

It becomes very hard to stop!

April 30, 2016

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have wrote a long reply on here, but it didn't post. I've been talking to a shift lead at work and we are attracted to each other. I'm M and was basically looking for a friend to talk to. We text and talk on the phone some and he likes to talk about sex. I went to his house and we kissed some, but didn't do more. He is hot and cold with me. We are attracted to each other, but I don't want to complicate things. I suggested being friends, but he wants more. We have only hugged and kissed some a few months ago. It's a strange situation and I have the feeling that he has a girlfriend. I wish that he would just tell me what's going on. I wish that we had never started this thing.

April 30, 2016

I met my exAP through work. I tried so many times to end it, but seeing him there would ignite the addiction and I just didn't have the strength to say 'no'. I used to feel physically sick at the thought of going in, waiting for him to turn up, wondering when we would see each other to converse. The chats, the looks, just knowing his presence was so close kept me in the affair fog. I couldn't concentrate and felt like a mad person. During the A, I changed work arrangements so I now no longer work on the same day as him.
Now the A is over, I still find it hard to work there, even though I never see him, because it causes me so many triggers. I receive group work emails, and just seeing his name in the address list is horrible. I dread people organising work events/socials (it doesn't happen often, luckily), but of course, my first thought is him. There is absolutely no way I would've found the strength to end it if I still had to see him at work, and would've definitely had to resign.
I'm looking for a new job now, and that's just because of environment triggers - I don't even see him there!

That's good that you could change your schedule, so you don't have to see exAP. I think in time the environment triggers won't bother you as much. You will get over him and they won't bother you as much.

April 30, 2016

LondonGirl, you are so so right. I was the OM and she changes her shifts in two weeks time to avoid mine. She won't keep away from me. And...you don't really want them to, even if you do.

I dread going into work now. Anxiety, pain, the knowing that everyone KNOWS. Up until recent weeks, I've been taking beta blockers before I go into work.

Like you say, even though we're not gonna be on the same shifts soon, I know she's still gonna be *there*. And even though I love my job and I've been there a lot longer than her and am a valued, popular employee, I feel I should go.

It's really, really bad. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

That's good that she's changing shifts soon and you won't have to see her. Sorry that it's taken such a toll on you and made you very anxious. Hopefully it will be better for you soon and you'll get over her and will be able to stay at your job. It is a very bad situationl

April 30, 2016

lftbehind, he doesn't sound like a keeper. He wants a sh*g, a F.B. Just get away. If you're happy with the hub, keep what you've got. If not, re-evaluate your situation and either work things out or make a change. I know people don't have the greatest opinions of OMs/OWs but at least with mine I went the whole nine yards, I love/loved/love that woman (see how hard it is?!!!). This guy...he definitely won't. And in the end, you'll just have an embarrassing mess on your hands and he'll have had his conquest.

Lasts much Longer! Not only is the presence and proximity always there to bring you closer but the other aspect is that it becomes more like a relationship and not just an affair.
Affair is normally categorized as you see that person only sometimes and usually in a bubble of reality.

If you have affair at work then you end up more emotionally tied. You have lunch, coffee, conversation, might travel together and in general become more close like a real couple. You have good times, bad times, and just normal times.

It becomes very hard to stop!

Again, so SO right! Quadruple it if you're supposed to be splitting up with someone you've had an affair (and even lived) with! I had to work for two hours with her yesterday. She said "don't you think going through this ***t has just made me and you even more real?". It has. But you were supposed to be splitting up with me, weren't you? The situation's almost made us feel closer than ever now. Toxic situation. Ugh. Big, big grind.

April 30, 2016

Luckily my AP left the company about a year ago.

Otherwise I guarantee it would of continued.. We tried to break it off several times and couldn't.

It started purely sexual but after a whe became very intense and emotional and we were both in love.

April 30, 2016

Luckily my AP left the company about a year ago.

Otherwise I guarantee it would of continued.. We tried to break it off several times and couldn't.

It started purely sexual but after a whe became very intense and emotional and we were both in love.

Me and her started off as 'love at first sight' (I know, we should've grown up). It was intensely emotional from the start. After a couple months I broke it off before we did anything sexual...and felt horribly guilty about hurting her because we just clicked like nothing else and she adored me. Then she chased...I relented...intensely emotional AND intensely sexual from thereon in. And I decided if I was gonna do it, then I'd stick to my guns because I adored her too.

Sounds sickly and foolish reading it all back. Now a massive mess. And we still love each other massively, too. But...so so tough.

April 30, 2016

Me and her started off as 'love at first sight' (I know, we should've grown up). It was intensely emotional from the start. After a couple months I broke it off before we did anything sexual...and felt horribly guilty about hurting her because we just clicked like nothing else and she adored me. Then she chased...I relented...intensely emotional AND intensely sexual from thereon in. And I decided if I was gonna do it, then I'd stick to my guns because I adored her too.

Sounds sickly and foolish reading it all back. Now a massive mess. And we still love each other massively, too. But...so so tough.

So what happens? How and why did it end?

April 30, 2016

I'm M and was basically looking for a friend to talk to...and he likes to talk about sex.

YOU are looking for friendship, attention and love , he is looking for sex.

He is hot and cold with me.

Hot and cold is never a good sign.

Hot and cold is classic affair behaviour from an attached man.

Horny so hot and lays it on thick, then feels guilty, so goes cold and distant until he gets horny again...

April 30, 2016

So what happens? How and why did it end?

Long, sad story lol. I've been stinking up this place with my stuff over the last couple weeks. I'll message ya.

April 30, 2016

Long, sad story lol. I've been stinking up this place with my stuff over the last couple weeks. I'll message ya.

Yes please do...

I got quit the story to!

We can exchange war stories

April 30, 2016

(Can't send you PM lol. Must have option switched off. If not, just scour back thru my posts. Messy.)

Edited April 30, 2016 by RedPurpleOrange

April 30, 2016

(Can't send you PM lol. Must have option switched off. If not, just scour back thru my posts. Messy.)

It seems to be a premium subscriber option

April 30, 2016

Premium subscriber? What is that? I know I joined this place over a year back. But I never posted until now. Look in Portwine's thread in 'The Other Man/Woman' thread.

As far as I know...I'm a 'normal' subscriber???

April 30, 2016

PS: sorry to be vague but I don't wanna hijack this lady's thread lol. I'm already guilty of that.

April 30, 2016

PS: sorry to be vague but I don't wanna hijack this lady's thread lol. I'm already guilty of that.

Feel free to post whatever you want.

Sign In

Question for those who had or are having [an affair] in the workplace

Recommended Posts

lftbehind

RedPurpleOrange

Cherryz

RedPurpleOrange

Cherryz

LondonGirl81

RedPurpleOrange

LondonGirl81

RedPurpleOrange

Confused9999

lftbehind

lftbehind

lftbehind

RedPurpleOrange

Confused9999

RedPurpleOrange

Confused9999

elaine567

RedPurpleOrange

Confused9999

RedPurpleOrange

Confused9999

RedPurpleOrange

RedPurpleOrange

lftbehind

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...