Naive Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Today my cousin called me to read to me her diary. It's from 6 years ago when we were 15. There were lots of things about me because we lived together and she thought I might want to hear them before she shredded her diary. Well getting to the point! She read a page regarding a guy that I had an extreme crush on before telling you what it said let me give you a bit of background info. There were 2 buddies, one of them was shy and the other one was not, both of them were my cousin's bf's friends. I really liked the shy one but I thought he did not like me because he would never talk to me. Then there was the other one who was not shy, he always went to visit me and he kissed me. I got used to the idea of the shy guy not liking me so I started to date the forward guy. One night while all of us went out to eat including shy guy (excluding forward guy). Shy guy told my cousin's bf that he wanted to give me a kiss so of course I was like, "oh yes" but that's when forward guy got there and it was going to be weird. Shy guy knew I was dating forward guy and I could tell he felt bad. Well a couple of weeks went by and one day my cousin asks me to ditch school with her and her friend so me falling under pressure (YEAH RIGHT!) decide to go. It turned out that her bf picked us up and we went to Shy guy's house. We talked for a while because my cousin left me alone with him and her friend did not like me so she stayed outside. All of a sudden SHY GUY gives me a kiss (with tongue ) out of nowhere!!! Real good kiss by the way!!! I felt butterflies in my stomach and I felt like this guy really liked me while with forward guy I knew all he wanted was one thing (which he did not get). At that moment I decided that I was going to stop dating forward guy. Well here is where my cousin's diary comes into the story. I had never heard this from her until today. She read something that gave me all sorts of emotions!!! Here is how it went: I am so mad at FORWARD GUY because he is playing with NAIVE'S head. He made SHY GUY diss NAIVE so that he could ask her out and the only reason he asked her out is so that SHY GUY will not be with her. He is so selfish and a d*ck. I want to tell NAIVE but my bf does not want me to because that is going to cause him problems with his friends. NAIVE felt real bad because she thought SHY GUY did not really like her when the reality is that he does. FORWARD GUY even has other gf's and he just wants NAIVE so that SHY GUY will not be with her. Now SHY GUY treats NAIVE bad so that she will not like him anymore. FORWARD GUY does even like NAIVE he is just being selfish and he has a big ego. D*ck. I am so mad. I know this was YEARS ago but I really liked Shy Guy and this self centered, selfish a**hole took that away from me for his benefit!!! I know I was only a kid but who knows this guy could have really been someone special in my life and I lost that because of a b*tch. I am happy with my life now but it hurts that I was deceived by so many people and that my own cousin knew and I did not find out until 6 years later. Now I understand why Shy Guy avoided me. We lived in the same block and went to the same high school and somehow he always avoided me. He probably felt that I did not really like him since I went out with Forward Guy. I hate it when people make choices for me and that's what I feel forward guy did!!! That A hole!!!! I mean, I really liked this guy and now I will never know what could have been Why would he do that? He was 3 years older than SHY GUY and I, why was he so much more immature? Ugghhhh, I had to let it out. I have to admit that I even cried. It hurt my feelings, specially finding out now that nothing can be done.
SexKitten Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 isn't it weird how old stuff that was never really settled still bothers you years later? i don't let much get to me, but sometimes it's like "huh...this is really bothering me...why do i even care now?" i get over it quickly, but it's weird how that happens, isn't it? it's less anger than it is an overall sense of uneasiness.
moimeme Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 who knows this guy could have really been someone special in my life and I lost that because of a b*tch And you would very likely never have met the man you claim to love so much now. Would you trade this one in for your imagined possible relationship with some guy you never got it on with?
alphamale Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ I know I was only a kid but you still are NAIVE
Cupcake Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 I have also kept a journal since I was a kid. I've shreadded some of them. But I've never actually read them to anyone. That was really aweful that your cousin respected her BF's wish to decieve you. I'm just curious to know if that BF turned out to be her soul mate. If not, he's not in her life anymore. You, her cousin, will always be there. Yet she chose him over you. I understand completely why this would still bother you. Expecially when you look back and realize that your life could have turned out differently. It doesn't really matter if it's good or bad. The point is, the opportunity was stolen away from you. That hurts. When I was a teenager, just starting to date, I had a major crush on a really great guy. He liked me too. My mother, for an unknown reason, didn't like the guy. She went behind my back and did some things that caused me to never get a chance to date the guy. My whole immediate family helped her. Now today, this guy owns a major corporation. He has a beautiful wife and family. They are living a successful life. And I'm still single, and not as successful as I could have been with him. I found out about the whole thing when one of my childhood friends saw this guy and he asked her about me. For all these years, he had been thinking that I never liked him, until my friend told him the truth. All anyone can do now is sit back and wonder, what could have been... But then we can always think, "what's meant to be, will be." Therefore, we should definately get past the hurt and move on with our lives they way they are. ''
Author Naive Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme And you would very likely never have met the man you claim to love so much now. Would you trade this one in for your imagined possible relationship with some guy you never got it on with? I am sure I would have ended up with my bf because we have known each other forever but that was for me to choose not someone else. I am very happy with the man that I am with and I truly believe that HE is the one for me but what bugs me is that #1 All of this was kept a secret from me and #2 I should have made the choice whether I wanted to be with this guy or not!!! I mean at the time I liked him a lot and I was caused a lot of pain over someone's selfishness! Originally posted by alphamale you still are NAIVE That is true and to some level I hope to be like that forever! Originally posted by Cupcake I'm just curious to know if that BF turned out to be her soul mate. If not, he's not in her life anymore. Oh no a year after that they had some major drama and she dumped his sorry butt!!! I understand completely why this would still bother you. Expecially when you look back and realize that your life could have turned out differently. It doesn't really matter if it's good or bad. The point is, the opportunity was stolen away from you. That hurts. I COULD NOT HAVE PUTTED BETTER MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!! This guy took the option from me and took happiness from me. At that moment he made me miserable and that was so not right. Whether or not my future would have turned out the same he had no right and he took away my happiness at that moment. Bastard!!!!
moimeme Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 You are assuming you would have been happy. Maybe the guy was a miserable sot who would've made you feel awful. It's a mistake to imagine some sort of big glowy fantasy and then get mad at someone for 'ruining' it. Maybe the guy saved you from a horrible relationship. You simply don't know and to get yourself all upset about it now is just hurting you.
Author Naive Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme You are assuming you would have been happy. Maybe the guy was a miserable sot who would've made you feel awful. It's a mistake to imagine some sort of big glowy fantasy and then get mad at someone for 'ruining' it. Maybe the guy saved you from a horrible relationship. You simply don't know and to get yourself all upset about it now is just hurting you. Well even if he would have ended up being a total jerk it should have been MY decision to be with him or not and to see what he was all about. Someone should have told me something. What bothers me is that HE had no right to do that. If I wanted to be with SHY GUY and he would have turned out to be horrible that is okay because it was what I wanted. I hate it when people make a choice for me and that's what I feel he did. No matter what the outcome would have been it was my decision to make Also, my cousin should have told me what was going on but I am not even going to dwell on this for long. I am going to do some deep thinking and then let it go.
moimeme Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Well when you're doing your thinking, ponder on how pointless it is to get mad over the past. What's done is done and if you really try, you can dig up hundreds of reasons to be ticked about all sorts of things that have happened to you. Which is no way to waste a perfectly good day.
blue16 Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 I don't mean to detract from the direction this topic is heading, but what happened after SHY GUY kissed you? Did you think he liked you but he never made a move because of his friend? Were you unsure how he felt so you decided to let it slide? What happened?
Author Naive Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 I don't mean to detract from the direction this topic is heading, but what happened after SHY GUY kissed you? Did you think he liked you but he never made a move because of his friend? Were you unsure how he felt so you decided to let it slide? What happened? After he kissed me I was certain that he liked me that's why I decided not to keep seeing FORWARD GUY. After that was when FORWARD GUY told hhim to stop seeing me.
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