FluffyFuzz Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Its been 2 weeks since he broke up with me. He had broken up with me a month earlier a night we had a fight. The next morning he called me saying he felt weird and that he didnt feel it was definitive. I asked for a month to work on myself but he didnt agree to it because he didnt want to not see me. I was obviously unable to work on the stuff i needed to work on (selfsteem, insecurity, jealousy and pessimism). We broke up 2 weeks ago because the problem persisted. Many times when we got together i would be either sad, upset, angry or just unwilling to cooperate. I new it was happening but I couldnt control myself. This time he broke up with me after a fight at a party (and god he loves his parties). I agreed to it, he said he loved me but he thought that was the best for him. A couple of days later i texted him telling him there was a solution to it but he said he had already made his mind, that i was selfdestructive and many times he felt that he was trying to be happy without my help. I then only told him that we had a nice time and sayd my goodbyes. Less than a week later I logged into World of warcraft and there he was, with his friend. He suddenly talked to me as if nothing, small talk pretty much. I was short and concise with my answers. Onlye yes and no and didnt answer to things that werent questions. That monday i had to text him again because there had been a misunderstanding about someone logging into the game and talking to him claiming it was me. I didnt want to look like the crazy ex so i told him it wasnt me. He agreed it was robably a troll. I told him i was wokring on myself and my issues and that i would get back to him when i felt better. He then replied that he would wait for it and that he wanted this to go well for both of us. Then he said that we could play together wow, that hed like that. He even said we didnt have to talk about anything else that isnt about the game. That like i used to say, its more fun with more people. A couple of days later i said "we could" and he immediatly replied "only if you want to". Then 2 days later (today) i replied saying "its okay". He again began with a little small talk sayin he hadnt been online because its been a busy week. What lvl am I. And even making a joke. Clearly he is sending mixed signals. I however amd starting to feel better about myself. I am already going to the psychologist and doing exercises everyday to boost my selfsteem and confidence, im also reading a lot about changing bad habits such as feeling jealous and showing it. I do want to change and be happy. I also do love this guys but I dont think he is thingkin about getting back together, specially now that the breaup is so fresh. Im trying ANC and being polite to him. But i do not want him to lose interest. I would love to give it another shot with him but only once Im prepared. My ideal scenario is where he agrees to date me, no responsabilities, each on their own and i keep working on myself but I am afraid to propose it. My plan is to finally get over the break up, improve myself in some time and then ask him out to chat and take it from there. What should i do? What is going on his mind? Im afraid he might be using me only to make his loss less painful.
lana-banana Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 I don't see any mixed signals on his part. He is comfortable being friendly and making small talk, but he isn't interested in resuming a romantic relationship. If you have feelings for him your best bet is to block or ignore him altogether. Be honest (and kind!) with yourself. You're hurting. It's natural to miss him. But "fixing yourself" is a process that takes years, not weeks. You can't get a new haircut, download some self-help apps and consider yourself cured. Likewise it can take a very long time to recover from breakups. Don't try to rush it. And above all don't try to do anything with the intent of somehow getting his attention or getting him back. That ship has sailed. You need to focus on understanding yourself and why you make the decisions you make.
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