I can't come to my girlfriends daughters birthday party?

[Jabron1]

This isn't an argument worth having. Pick your battles, mate

 

So, you get a night to yourself. Call up your friends and go out for a laugh instead.

 

You're only 19 . Fun should be your priority, not getting dragged into so much drama involving other peoples children.

 

I don't care that she has a child.

 

It seems to be causing you aggravation.

 

But I think it's more your problem than hers. I think she's being reasonable.

 

Leaving her just because she has a child would just make me feel terrible.

 

That's going from one extreme to the other.

 

I'm not saying don't date her.

 

I am saying you shouldn't be looking to turn provider/super dad to a woman you've just met at the young age of 19.

 

Why do you feel the need to do that? She doesn't seem to even want that from you.

[Art_Critic]

First Year B-days are a big family event, put this in perspective instead of getting butt hurt..

 

It is at her Ex's family's house, he will be there and so will ALL of his and her family, why would you want to put yourself in such an awkward position and put others in it too.

 

The baby is only one year old, you have only been dating a month so there hasn't been enough time past in either items to make EVERYONE comfortable..

 

Be the bigger man and don't get butt hurt over something so trivial.. now if it was your baby then it would be a different story but this is her Ex's child's B-day with his family.

[katiegrl]

This bday party issue is just one small part of a very big problem IMO.

 

OP's neediness, over-sensitivity and anxiety are what are at issue here.

 

Even if she were to invite him, those issues will not go away, and it's only a matter of time before something else pops up causing him hurt, stress and anxiety.

 

OP, you have admitted all this yourself, forget the party, seek professional help!

 

Otherwise this relationship will end, as well as the next one and the next one after that, etc.

 

Your unreasonable demands and expectations will drive them all away eventually.

 

Just like in all your previous relationships.

[joseb]

 

and honestly, I don't care that she has a child. I want to make her life easier and take some of the load off of her. No one helps her. She gets no breaks and is always stressed. Leaving her just because she has a child would just make me feel terrible.

 

You sound like you are a white knight trying to rescue her.

At your age relationships should be fun.

This just sounds like a lot of stress.

What are you getting from being in it?

[kendahke]

Weren't you complaining not long ago about not wanting to get close to this child anyway? You said this child complicates things between you and his/her mother. So why are you upset that you're not invited to their birthday party?

 

I don't blame her for not extending the invite to you. Would be different if the party was at her house, but it's at the baby's grandmother's house and gran might not like the idea of you there, which is her right as a blood relative to the child and owner of the property, which you aren't.

 

And good on her for respecting your mother's house.

[Cherryz]

One month is same as one day in this case. You dont know each other atall.

 

Having a kid and dating is not simple. It takes time first for you and her to get to

know eachother and see if its a stable long relationship at least. Before you can introduce a child into this.

 

Why would you want to be there already in middle of all this strangers and possibly drama) baby daddy there and his parents...........

 

You dont know this girl atall, but yet so many drama and stuff, and she dont have a

stable life, and still dealing with baby daddy drama.......who knows what more drama there is and will come.......

 

I think its a good choice of her to not have you there.

I think you confuse having sex with knowing each other and having a strong relation with each other.

You guys haven't get to know each other well yet and grow a strong bound.

 

So you can aspect many things happen just because you are having sex with her and is her bf.

Best is to let sex be last thing you do. Invest more in getting to know eachother and see who you dealing with.

 

Im afraid you are wasting your time with her.

You are very young, waste your time in making friends and knowing single girls of your age with no kids.

You are getting into her drama life , while you can be happy and drama free with many other people of your own age.

[elaine567]

She has a one year old child who is having a Birthday party this Saturday. One of her friends asked me if I was coming and I told her friend I didn't recieve an invite. Her friend told her I said that and she comes to me and says "you know I want you at my daughter's Birthday, but it would be weird" she said it would be weird because it's at her baby daddy's Mom's house. The baby daddy is also a dead beat I must mention. And I just agreed and walked off but deep down I'm offended and frankly feel unwanted. Then today, she tells me "so a lot more people are gonna be at the party than I expected" and I was like well what the ****? Lots of people can come except me. Wtf. She said "me and you and my daughter will go to the park monday because that's her real birthday" so It's like I can't be seen? I mean she has let me meet her mom and her step dad and all of her sisters and taken me to her brothers grave and also asked if we were going to be long term etc. so I know she's into me to an extent but this past week has been so ****ty. We hardly text, we hardly ****, we still make out and try to see each other. But I am honestly very offended that I cannot come to her daughter's Birthday. I mean we've only been together for a month but still. Also, her and the baby daddy are going to court soon because she is denying his right to see him because he is on drugs and doesn't pay child support and she claims he won't be at this party but I have my doubts.

What do you guys think?

 

I think Baby Daddy and Baby Daddy's family are always going to be in the picture somewhere. There is never going to be a time where you, the Baby Mamma and the Baby are going to be left alone, so get used to it. YOU will be the odd one out and you will feel "unwanted" at times but that is how it is. NO matter how much of a dead beat he is or not as the case may be, he is the child's father. He may turn his life around and be a wonderful father, so you may have to get used to that too.

YOU have a lot of thinking to do here. It is only a month and you are hardly talking to each other...

[CarrieT]

You shouldn't have even met the child until the six-month mark, at least. Who knows if you are going to be around and in the child's life?

 

Based on the Baby Daddy drama, I'm guessing it is unlikely....

[Emilia]

I am very young but was also forced to grow up very fast. When my Father passed when I was 15 I was thrown into reality. I had to go to work and I work very hard. I've dabbled in hardcore drugs and that made me grow up very quickly. It was immature to mess with hardcore drugs but the situations I was put in due to using them, I was brought into an adult world. The only women I have dated have always been 2-4 years older than me. Younger girls just don't appeal to me and have never worked out.

 

and honestly, I don't care that she has a child. I want to make her life easier and take some of the load off of her. No one helps her. She gets no breaks and is always stressed. Leaving her just because she has a child would just make me feel terrible.

YOUNGER girls? You are talking as if she was 27. She IS a younger girl, quite possibly an irresponsible one at that considering she is a single mum at the age of 21 (I don't know her circumstances).

 

If you are so mature, stand on your own two feet and move out of your mother's house. That would be a good start.