carhill Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Yeah, that but IMO both requests are coarse and inappropriate in a parking lot on a first date. However, lots of folks do it and, well, a guy who is that bold certainly has done it before. Men do what works. We're pragmatists to a fault. Same with the disappearing act. It doesn't just happen. Another reason: He died and his family pulled the online plug. Guilt would be my COD.
Jabron1 Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 It is kinda interesting, by the way, that everyone seems more offended that he asked her for a BJ but asking her for sex seems pretty standard. Why is that? Off topic, I'm sure. But interesting, still. When people say 'asked for sex', I don't take it literally. When you said 'asked for a BJ', it's kind of specific, and I took it literally. 'Can I have a BJ, please?' 1
jen1447 Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Yeah, asking or hoping to go home with her is a little less explicit than wanting a hummer in the car. Regardless of what actually happens it implies lovey-sexy-two-people-having-passionate-sex type stuff as opposed to one just sticking the other's genitals in her mouth. 2
Taramere Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 She said when they were in her car he straight up asked for a BJ...I'm not really sure what to make of that. I would say it's pretty clear. This is a guy who views online dating as being an extension of the sex industry. 2
Imajerk17 Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 I was learning more details throughout the day. She didn't tell me that part at first so I didn't know about it when I first wrote the thread. It is kinda interesting, by the way, that everyone seems more offended that he asked her for a BJ but asking her for sex seems pretty standard. Why is that? Off topic, I'm sure. But interesting, still. Thought-provoking question. It IS more offensive to ask for a BJ instead of sex but I wasn't really sure WHY that is. My take: 1. If I am feeling connection and attraction to someone, I would be satisfied with them pressing into me naked. Shouldn't that be exciting enough for a first date with someone new. A blow job at that point feels more like a favor from her. I wouldn't even WANT that at that point because I am enjoying just being with her. 2. I don't think I've ever asked for sex per se. We make out, I go to take off an item of clothing, either she is down for it or she isn't. If we are making out but logistics mean that we'd have to go someplace else to have sex (which may mean suggesting it outright), then a next step from making out is having full-on bodies-pressed-into-each-other sex, not having her giving me a BJ (1. in the above paragraph). 1
Author AMJ Posted April 30, 2016 Author Posted April 30, 2016 BJs are one-sided. Sex is mutual. Idk..for me, I'd never give a BJ if I also didn't enjoy doing it. I get a lot of pleasure from giving pleasure to someone I care about. But that's key- I'll never develop those kind of feelings for someone on a first date. But in that sense, for me, sex and BJs are both mutual. When people say 'asked for sex', I don't take it literally. When you said 'asked for a BJ', it's kind of specific, and I took it literally. 'Can I have a BJ, please?' Lol yep, you gotta laugh at situations like that! I don't really follow how you distinguish the two. Saying- hey let's go back to your place- like 2-3 times is pretty much asking for sex, no? I'm sure the guy didn't want to go home with her to cuddle and check out her photo albums. I would say it's pretty clear. This is a guy who views online dating as being an extension of the sex industry. I agree with you.
Author AMJ Posted April 30, 2016 Author Posted April 30, 2016 Thought-provoking question. It IS more offensive to ask for a BJ instead of sex but I wasn't really sure WHY that is. My take: 1. If I am feeling connection and attraction to someone, I would be satisfied with them pressing into me naked. Shouldn't that be exciting enough for a first date with someone new. A blow job at that point feels more like a favor from her. I wouldn't even WANT that at that point because I am enjoying just being with her. 2. I don't think I've ever asked for sex per se. We make out, I go to take off an item of clothing, either she is down for it or she isn't. If we are making out but logistics mean that we'd have to go someplace else to have sex (which may mean suggesting it outright), then a next step from making out is having full-on bodies-pressed-into-each-other sex, not having her giving me a BJ (1. in the above paragraph). Well from her story, it sounds like the BJ was a consolation prize. He first asked to go home with her, then asked if she'd go to HIS house (he lives an hour away) a little bit later asked again to go to her house, and then a little bit later asked for the BJ.
Emilia Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Wait, is he from Jordan by any chance? I've got like a thousand old emails from that guy in my spam folder. Hah, no, he is a mixed race Brit I think it's just the 'cast a spell on you' thing ....anybody can fall for it in the right circumstances. The sexual frustration route being one of the more likely ways. Yes but this is when boundaries kick in. When a person doesn't respond and wants nothing to do with you anymore, it's important to learn to draw a line under the interaction - at least when the interaction had been very brief. 1
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