Bipolarlove Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Me and my boyfriend of over a year keep having problems because I am kind of jealous. I don't like it when other girls, ie: single, attractive, unrelated ones, message him on FB or texts. It drives me up a wall. It's not a trust issue, it's that I don't trust other women. I'm 21, so other girls actually. Girls are slimey. He thinks I'm just being controlling. I think it's disrespectful for a boy/man in a relationship to talk to single females, especially ones that the girlfriend doesnt know. Am I wrong?
BilleRae Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 you can never be "wrong" for feeling the way you do. What are the context of these FB messages/texts? I don't think you have anything to worry about, especially since you've been with your boyfriend for a year. Maybe reevaluate how you react when these happen. Yes, girls can be a little "slimey" but it takes two to cheat, so if it happens he definitely allowed it to happen. Just be super confident in your relationship and chalk these up to platonic friends, who happen to be girls.
Fused Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 a "little" jealous? so do you want him to have no associations with any females? do you want to isolate him from an entire gender? how are you dealing with jealousy issues within yourself for a year of being with him? one of the main keys in relationships is trust, and if you dont have that, sorry but its only going to downhill. i think a lot of problems girls have in relationships is thinking that every other girl out there wants their boyfriend. this is most likely never the case... have TRUST that your boyfriend is with you and he loves you and wouldn't do anything to break your relationship. otherwise, you being jealous about any girl he makes eye contact with is showing him how an annoying side of you. (my brothers ex girlfriend was constantly jealous of every interaction he had with a female. he eventually got sick of the lack of trust and broke off their 7 year relationship) jealousy is hard to overcome, but its an issue. try to solve your inner issues and dont relate them to him. soon you'll scare him off 1
basil67 Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Yes, you are completely in the wrong. Hate to disillusion you, but he will have female classmates and female work mates and female friends. It's ridiculous to expect him to not contact any of them. I noticed your login name Bipolarlove. I assume you're referring to yourself. Does your mental illness affect how well you're able to manage irrational feelings? Could be something to talk about with your psychologist.
ad4m Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Me and my boyfriend of over a year keep having problems because I am kind of jealous. I don't like it when other girls, ie: single, attractive, unrelated ones, message him on FB or texts. It drives me up a wall. It's not a trust issue, it's that I don't trust other women. I'm 21, so other girls actually. Girls are slimey. He thinks I'm just being controlling. I think it's disrespectful for a boy/man in a relationship to talk to single females, especially ones that the girlfriend doesnt know. Am I wrong? This is a a trust issue. But you are not in the wrong for feeling the way you do at all. There isn't a problem if girls message him, it's a problem if he then responds to those messages and starts talking to them. Then you have every right not to trust him. As long as he doesn't respond to these girls or have any kind of conversation with them, then you need to trust him. Additionally, it depends who these girls are. Are they work colleagues or close friends, or are the single girls who he has only met like once?
stillafool Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I guess you can't help how you feel and you may want to seek therapy for your jealousy issues. It is exhausting to be with someone who is jealous. Sooner or later he is going to get sick of it and dump you. People want to be free to talk to whomever they chose and be trusted to observe boundaries. 1
mikeylo Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 He is giving you reasons to not trust him. Become secretive with your texts and phone calls, then see what happens ! Why do other girls text him? It's a pity how many people take others for granted !
Versacehottie Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I guess you can't help how you feel and you may want to seek therapy for your jealousy issues. It is exhausting to be with someone who is jealous. Sooner or later he is going to get sick of it and dump you. People want to be free to talk to whomever they chose and be trusted to observe boundaries. I think girls like you are utterly ridiculous....pretty soon your boyfriend will too. Sorry. Get help 2
LoveRefreshed Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 This is a a trust issue. But you are not in the wrong for feeling the way you do at all. There isn't a problem if girls message him, it's a problem if he then responds to those messages and starts talking to them. Then you have every right not to trust him. As long as he doesn't respond to these girls or have any kind of conversation with them, then you need to trust him. Additionally, it depends who these girls are. Are they work colleagues or close friends, or are the single girls who he has only met like once? Not true. You can't distrust a man for talking to a single girl friend of his. That's ridiculous.
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 That is how you feel. Not much is going to change that. Maybe in time you will be a bit more relaxed in your attitude. If you trust your BF, you trust him. Some woman could climb naked into his bed & he'd get up & go sleep on the couch. While you may not be able to control this slimy girls, your insistence that he cut every unmarried woman out of his life is over the top, IMO. But if you feel that way, it's best to date someone who shares your view. It's unrealistic to expect somebody with a healthy well balanced sense of right & wrong who knows where to draw the lines to adopt your controlling view.
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