The Stoic Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I guess I'm trying to get a woman's perspective on this. My GF has car trouble. The tranny need replacing and it will take some grinding to get everything back to normal. So I have been letting her use my car. I rarely go places unless I have to. I live within walking distance of my mom so I am fine. She works a 3rd shift. So usually, after work she'd go home and take care of some errands. Then come back to my place to crash. After that we'd spend time together either working out or something else random. Tuesdays I go play basketball. Sometimes Thursday. But this week we have been together frequently. And she lives with her older sister. Her sister said she missed her in a joking way. But she does. She even stated, "are you guys moving together or something". But it also had me thinking maybe she should have a weekend to herself. We spend every weekend together. She hasn't been able to hang with her cousin or sis. I felt like she should have time to herself this weekend if she wanted. I just suggested it. But when I did her entire aura changed. It was as if I sucked the positive energy from her (and she's a very positive person). I told her it would be good. I won't have much money at all during the weekend. Plus the weather will be ugly this weekend. I don't want her spending any kind of money on me. This is just dedicated time for her to make decisions for her that don't involve me. My sister said I should've have worded it in a different way. I should've asked if she wanted tine to herself instead of assuming, because that makes it seem like to a woman that I don't want her around. But it's not like that. How I tell she was upset because we are the same when it comes to eating food. When we are upset we eat a lot of junk food. And she said that she'll go home so she can avoid that. I'm thinking I must've said something wrong. When I thought I was doing a good thing. I feel like this is gonna require some reconciliation soon. Smh
Fused Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 smh. with girls you real gotta watch the way you say things, never make her feel like a victim. when you say that you want her to go on and make decisions that dont involve you, me as a girl would think that you are talking about leaving you. she probably feels like you are sick and tired of her, which is never a good feeling. you need to pick your words out carefully when she appears to be in a rough situation. she is clearly clinging on to you for a reason, and for her to hear that you want her to go away for a weekend probably wouldn't be the best thing. i feel like you should propose the idea to her, not demand it. talk to her and explain what your true feelings are and dont forget to express that you would still LOVE it if she chose to stay.
ad4m Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I'm a little confused.....this girl clearly wants to spend a lot of time with you but you think she should spend some time by herself? Why are you pushing her away? If she wants some alone time and some time to spend with her sister or whoever, then she will tell you know. If she wants to spend time with you, then she will spend time with you. I think you are trying to decide who she should spend time with too much. That's her decision, so let her make it.
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