Is my ex crazy or am I?

[iwannaknow148]

This is pretty long so let me start from the beginning:

 

I was a senior in highschool and I started dating a junior. This relationship didn't last more than a few weeks, but I was extremely hurt because she left me without any answers. I was caught up for a few months unable to move on and I was very obsessive when it came to thinking about her. A few months go by and I started talking to her friend just to vent about my ex. This friend was venting to me about her problems so we tried helping each other out. She liked a guy who my then ex was hooking up with so we had a mutual distaste for her. As time went on this friend and I grew closer and closer and I stopped her from hooking up with the guy she liked (who was a player) one day to tell her I had feelings for her. It turned out she had feelings for me too and we started dating soon after.

 

I was her first kiss and first everything (she was also a junior). We were very different in terms of interests and personality, but we made it work. Our relationship was going smoothly and I was completely in love with her. The summer goes by and I am headed off to college. Luckily I only ended up going to college only an hour away from her so it really wasn't that much of a long distance thing. I used to come home every weekend and spent the majority of my time home with her. I had friends at college, but I never made an effort to go out and make more or go to parties even though that's the person I normally am. Every weekend I slept over at her house and I felt like she was the only person that mattered to me. I was never the jealous type, but she was. She was always somewhat insecure and shy. In October of last year one of her friends told her that the guy she liked before me was going to ask her out the day we started dating. She didn't know how to process this information so we had a conversation which ultimately had her saying she needed to be more independent. She always had this idea where she always thought she was doing the right thing even if it hurt me. Our relationship dynamic started to change from that day. She said she needed a break so we tried going one day without talking but then I started feeling insecure and started feeling jealous. After that we were just passive agressive with each other.

 

Fights started to become more often and things weren't the same. She took some of my favorite aspects of our relationship and threw it out because she thought it wasn't necessary. We still loved each other dearly tho. I would do anything for her, but deep down inside I knew she was a little selfish and immature. Things just kept getting harder because she then found out she got into her top college which I was happy for her, but it was 7 hours away. Things were in this constant state of limbo but we did love each other and experience life with each other. Just before valentines we got into a fight because I said she barely put in any effort into our relationship and only cared when there was an issue. Short story short we decided to go on a two week break and then resume things when she would come to visit me to see her favorite comedian which I bought tickets for her to see. A few days into our no contact break I said I need to talk. We talked and I was like I love you and I want to fix things. She was like I love you so much too, but my mom doesn't want me to make any decisions too soon. I was shocked her mom had any influence over her actions. The next day was her grandpas birthday so I texted her telling her to tell him to say happy birthday. She was acting all moody with me so I didn't continue the situation. I then go on vacation and she goes on vacation with her family. I text her saying I feel empty and need to talk and she basically ended things there. She then called me with her mom and told me it was over. I was shocked because two days before she said she loved me so much. I was devastated, but I was around my family and they helped me cope. I went out a few nights and she was always checking my snapstories. Then a few days later she texts me asking how I was doing. I said I wasn't the greatest but fine. She then texts me the next day saying she made a mistake and wanted to talk. We talked and I gave her a second chance.

 

She then came to my college the next week and we had a great time. She had this thing where she didn't want us to criticize the other, but I did criticize her lack of motivation in which she then turned into me calling her fat which I never would do. One thing she forgot to mention was that she had a performance the next weekend, but whilst we were broken up I had made plans to go to a concert with my friends. I canceled my plans to go to her performance and I asked if we could hangout after. She said she wanted to go to a party which kind of shocked me because she hated parties. I seemed ok with it, but deep down I was mad. We got into a fight again and then I was like you can't keep blowing me off especially when I'm making sacrifices to see you. She didn't want to talk about it and after the performance I left without talking to her. I was really mad and she thought I was drunk, but I wasn't. She called me and I was like you can't string me on and expect me to be ok. She then said I didn't treat her well and then proceeded to breakup with me again. I felt so ****ty and shocked I couldn't sleep. The next morning I got up early wrote her a letter telling her how much she meant to me, bought flowers, and muffins and went to go see her. She looked at me (bear in mind this is our one year anniversary) and basically said she can't do it anymore and asked me to leave.

 

I left and I was very sad. I started talking to our mutual friend to get updates on my ex. My ex was leaving for France in a week so I texted her a few days before saying I wanted a proper ending and goodbye. She basically told me to move on and to forget about her. A few weeks go by and I start getting mad and sad so I wrote a letter to her saying what she did was wrong and that she needed to address the issues. She was in France when she got it and then she blocked me on all social media and told me I was crazy and needed to see a therapist. A few weeks after that I find out from a friend that literally a few days after she broke up with me she hooked up with the guy she liked before me. Throughout our whole relationship she was telling me how she didn't like him or how he was a player. I was hurt because I found out that they had been seeing each other right after we broke up. I texted her calling her out on it and saying remove my pictures from all your social media accounts. Again she called me crazy and told me never to talk to her again. A week goes by and I did something stupid that my friends egged me on to do which was to leave her mixtape she gave me at her comedy camp. She found the mixtape and blocked all my friends on all social media. She verbally tells our mutual friends I need to move on, but at the same time she is spreading lies about me saying I was verbally abusive to her and called her fat. Its been two weeks since that event and I've made a lot of progress when moving on.

 

I was a great boyfriend, but I was an obsessive ex. Im feeling a lot better, but empty without closure. Prom is coming up for her and I think some asked her (apparently she felt used by the guy she started seeing after me). Like I feel better but not great. Physically i've lost 20 pounds and my selfconfidence and increased. Im making new friends and enjoying life, but I just feel ****ty when it comes to her. I am worth so much then she gave me, but Im just so confused as to how she can be so delusional in cutting me out. I gave everything to her and then she disrespected me and insulted me. I would never do that to her. I am moving on, but like I am hoping she either regrets her actions or feels bad enough to reach out to me. Her issues with her self esteem and her mom are an issue though. Like her family loved me, but they love their daughter first. What do I do? What do you think will happen? Im not trying to have her back in my life like that. Sorry for such a long post. There is actually a lot missing. Thanks

Edited April 29, 2016 by iwannaknow148

[d0nnivain]

Your EX GF is not crazy but she is a teenaged girl. That can look crazy.

 

 

You were probably a great BF. That doesn't mean you were going to stay together forever. She is moving toward the next phase of her life -- college 7 hours away or wherever she choses to go. She's had glimpses of college life through you & although you were willing to sacrifice college to come home every weekend for her, she is not willing to do that for you. She wants to explore -- go to France, see what could happen with the other guy she liked. It's all part of growing up.

 

 

You two had a good run but now it's over.

 

 

Concentrate more on your life at school.

[iwannaknow148]

Thanks. The thing between her and the other guy didnt last long. I knew this wasn't meant to last forever, but I always wanted to end things on a better note. We talked about what would happen when she would go to college, but never in much detail. And she did come visit me in college often, but It was easier for me to go see her and my family. I just don't like the fact she almost hates me and wants nothing to do with me. It was almost cruel what she did seeing that guy literally a few days after we broke up. I have been doing my school work and thats been relatively unaffected. Thanks again

[ChickiePops]

It wasn't cruel of her to see someone shortly after you broke up. She didn't do it to hurt you, and you're the one who chose to keep tabs on her, therefore you found out about it and it hurt you. You didn't have to ask about her..it's not her responsibility to take care of you in any way after you broke up.

 

You acknowledge the fact that you're an obsessive ex..so what are you doing to change this?

 

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not unsympathetic..losing your first love is extremely painful. I'm just trying to show you why being obsessive isn't good for you.

[iwannaknow148]

I have stopped keeping tabs on her and am just focusing on myself. Im learning how to cope with things better and adjusting to life without her. What she did was cruel and I didn't even ask anyone about it because the guy who she was seeing now has a new girlfriend and she was the one who told me out of the blue. Why would she do it then? She obviously was lying about how she felt about him... And she knew I had distaste for him. Honestly like thats what killed all of this to me. Like so shortly after we broke up she went and did that. Also I want to note that a few days before she ended things she said Breaking Up is NOT an option for us anymore

Edited April 29, 2016 by iwannaknow148