shadow12 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 So this is my life at the moment my fiancé and I have been engaged for 8 months and have been dating for 5 1/2 years. She is currently finishing up her last semester of college and we were gonna start looking for places to live together afterwards. Since she goes to a school in another state and I graduated and have a full time job we would only see each other on the weekends but would constantly text throughout the day and call each other once or twice a week at night (this is only during when she is away at college normally we would see each other a lot more). Well about 7 weeks ago she started her last two classes which are half semester classes. She made the mistake of thinking they would be easy but were way harder then she thought and became stressed with her classes. When I saw her again which was Easter (only two weeks into her classes) she said that she was stressed, in a funk, and depressed. We had talked and she wanted to push the wedding back because she was getting overwhelmed with everything that would be coming up (her graduating, her looking for a job, us moving in together) so I said that is fine because the last thing that I want is to her to fail her classes or have the wedding cause any stress. That weekend when I was with her she said she was fine and was no longer in a funk or depressed. Well two weeks later she texted me out of the blue saying she thinks she needs a break. I called her asking why and she said she felt disconnected and got back into that funk, and depression she was in. A week after that I would try and give her space because I care about her but I had so many questions and I didn't want to be left in the dark. So she answered my phone call and I asked her if she was still depressed and she said yes. She said she took the engagement ring off because she felt disconnected and said that she doesn't have the same feelings for me like she once did. She then went on to say that she still cares about me and said maybe in a couple weeks or months she would snap out of it and realize she **** up. I told her I still love her and care about her so much because she is my best friend. But, she was monotone and showed no emotion and didn't sound or feel like the woman I fell in love with who was happy and giggly. She said she would give me the ring back but still needs space. The confusing part is when I told her I would meet her at her college or at her parents house to get the ring she said she didn't want too yet. So now I am giving her the space she asked for. Also on Facebook (I know it doesn't really mean anything) but she never changed her status and still has all the photos of us together. I also noticed that she hasn't been contacting her friends as much as she used too as well. She graduates next week and after that we are going to meet face to face and talk and give each other our stuff back. I am gonna tell her how I feel, what she means to me, and that I still love her and want to work things out. If it was due to stress I am going to say that now college is done what else gives you stress and if there is anyway I can help. And if it is really depression I know I can't fore someone to love me but is it over the line for me to tell her to go get professional help cause I still care about her. Any advice would help Thanks!!
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 She probably got overwhelmed by all the changes in her life -- graduating & marrying. If you have been together since high school she probably also has GIGS & wants to know what else is out there before she settles down. Space generally means break up. All you can do is let her go. Do try to speak to her at this face to face but all Wedding Planning has to come to a halt & you need to get all deposits back.
brothers343 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 My friend I wouldn't get married, not just yet. This is probably a glimpse of what your future may present later on. Let her take care of her issues and you just keep on living life. Don't stop for her. If she's not ready than its just not your time yet. Good luck
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