How do I stop thinking about this

[jquan]

I can't stop thinking about what if my ex has sex with another guy, what if she sends him nudes, what if she gives a guy head, all of this sexual stuff it keeps appearing in my head. It's hard for me to deal it gives me a huge lump in my throat and knot in my stomach.

[PegNosePete]

What if she does? It's none of your business. She's your EX. You're not her keeper, or her mum.

[jquan]

What if she does? It's none of your business. She's your EX. You're not her keeper, or her mum.

 

You act like it's that easy. Imagine someone you loved so much doing sexual stuff like that. I'm early in the break up and I can't stop getting thoughts of it and it hurts cause I'm sort of in denial.

[PegNosePete]

I never said it's easy. But I don't believe denial is good for you. The quicker you get used to it, the better.

 

Did you expect her to join a convent or something?

[smudge21]

What if she's not having sex with anyone else? What if she's only entertaining herself, whilst surrounded by empty ice cream boxes and pictures of you? Or what if she's joined the Foreign Legion, possibly ending fighting in a war that will get her hurt? Or maybe she's got herself a dog... what I'm suggesting is that you don't know and will never know (unless you go stalking, which I don't suggest). After a break up, we always think about that person we lost. You can't force yourself to stop this, you just have to try and keep busy. I know it's not easy, no one said it was, but keep strong and focus your thoughts elsewhere.

[keiji]

It's not like we have "care/not care" switch in our heads, so telling the OP "it's not his business" will hardly help him.

 

This is a matter of time and specially no contact. The less information you get from her and her social circle, the less you will create images of her doing certain things. She'll have sex with other people, and so will you. The intensity of those recurring images will slowly wane as will the gut-wrenching feeling they cause. I've been there too. Actually, I was there too a mere two or three months ago. I don't even think about those things anymore and in the rare occasions I do, I barely "feel" it.

 

Hang in there and isolate yourself from anything that has to do with her.