mortensorchid Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 I went back to online dating. Why? I don't know, I was just looking to see what I see. I went to OKCupid, which I had had bad luck on before, but it had been a few years and ... There might be a fresh crop on there now. Like we all think. I connected with someone who immediately asked to meet, and I said "Sure." So we met, and at first I wasn't sure about him upon first glance. He looked like a preppie yuppie by how he was dressed and I was a bit on the punk rock side, but he was a good conversationalist. He used to be a research scientist, he liked comic books, he played in rock bands. DING! I knew it was okay to talk about certain things with him (some of you know what I'm talking about). We REALLY HIT IT OFF! He even walked me to my car! I was BLOWN AWAY, especially with some of my luck in dating as of the last few years. He sent a text later of a drawing he said he wanted to show me. It's not Matisse but I was surprised that he took the time to follow up, especially so quickly. How do I feel? I feel HAPPY! If I never hear from him again after today, so be it, but it made me feel happy that there is a semi-decent man out there. Watch this space for more information. 7
Author mortensorchid Posted April 29, 2016 Author Posted April 29, 2016 Well unfortunately for me the bubble on the noted above situation has burst. I did hear from him the next day, we sent a few texts about how the day is going and things, but as I have been through enough of these situations in the past, I know this isn't going to go anywhere. He was a decent guy, of that I am/was happy, but since I haven't heard from him since the last text I sent it ain't gonna happen. Still, it was a happy moment, he wasn't just someone looking for sex or someone so bored that he was just looking for company (or if he was, he didn't show that side of himself to me). Is there hope? Maybe, but this situation isn't going to happen for me.
Kamille Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 You should probably give the situation more than 24 hours before "giving up". Go do something else. Like you said, if it moves forward great. If not, you know there are great guys out there. 2
kendahke Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 (edited) Well unfortunately for me the bubble on the noted above situation has burst. I did hear from him the next day, we sent a few texts about how the day is going and things, but as I have been through enough of these situations in the past, I know this isn't going to go anywhere. He was a decent guy, of that I am/was happy, but since I haven't heard from him since the last text I sent it ain't gonna happen. Still, it was a happy moment, he wasn't just someone looking for sex or someone so bored that he was just looking for company (or if he was, he didn't show that side of himself to me). Is there hope? Maybe, but this situation isn't going to happen for me. Well, if that's the energy you're going to put out into the universe, then no, it isn't going to happen for you. It's barely been 3 days--he has a life, presumably, you do, too. So why are you living for his response? You should probably work on bringing your expectations into check. They are a bit unrealistic, given how little time you two have known one another. Edited April 29, 2016 by kendahke 4
Eighty_nine Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 yeah, I don't understand how you're so sure he's not interested when he contacted you right after the date and the next day. 1
deckard11 Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 (edited) There's a lot of decent men out there. Edited April 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed whining
len51 Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Two friends I know are married to people they met on online dating sights. One is married over 25 years. Then there are others who said the problem with online dating was having to change the sheets twice a day because the divorced women out there wanted sex or felt that they had to in order to get a second date. Despite that, they also met women for a long term relationship. One ended up marrying a friend of a friend but the other married a divorced woman with 3 teenage kids living at home. Keep in mind that most people are on their best behavior for the first few dates. It takes about 3 dates before you see glimpses of the true person. Also do not assume that the guy did not just want sex. Some guys want it but are too afraid to ask for it. As in the case of the two acquaintances who had sex twice a day on the weekends, it was the women who asked for sex, not them. I dated women who were my intellectual equal or at least could hold their own with me. They had similar interests and values and yet I married a petite woman I saw on a NYC Subway and got engaged to 3 weeks later. We are married for over 40 years and are nothing alike. Turns out that I did not want to marry someone like me. My wife provides me with balance. She is the yin to my yang or vice versa. Heck, she was even a virgin and I usually had sex with women on the first date or even before we even started dating. Keep looking. You may have to kiss a lot of frog before you find your prince. 1
Satu Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Keep an open heart and an open mind Nobody knows what the future will be. When you say it isn't going to happen, you're putting a kind of curse on yourself. Never do that. Take care. 2
LostOnes05 Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 We decent guys do like when a woman reaches out as well. Give it a few days and give him a call if you want to see him. I hope everything works out for you!!!!
spriggan2 Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 It's been one date.... If you're OLDing best thing is to be juggling matches and just see what gains traction. You don't want to obsess over one date. You don't know the guy. There's less of an impetus to stay in touch. If he's interested he'll respond. If not, shrug, next one. I'm sure there are plenty of interesting guys willing to be gentlemen.
OnlyHonesty Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 This is what happens when you have a lot of baggage, you destroy opportunities by taking the past with you into the future. 1
Versacehottie Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 This is what happens when you have a lot of baggage, you destroy opportunities by taking the past with you into the future. Wow, that is a succinct and very accurate description of baggage. OP, we are rooting for you. Do so for yourself. Ok, maybe it makes the most sense to find out what was said in the texting or convo after the first date? What makes you think from that that he will not be in touch? The way you described him did make him sound very good for you (as I know you here on this site!). I was/am excited for you. Good luck
Author mortensorchid Posted May 5, 2016 Author Posted May 5, 2016 Update: It's now a week later. I did not hear from him yesterday (via text) and he has not asked to see me again. I will just let it be. It's a disappointment that it won't go anywhere else, but then again we didn't know each other's last names either. So it is.
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