How do I get through this?

[DeAndre]

This might be a little long, but I really need advice and all of my friends advice aren't very helpful. So please, consider skimming the article at least, any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

So my girlfriend and I had a great relationship, we were together and we loved each other very much unconditionally and we spent times with ourselves and the important things in life. The relationship was great we both had the feeling and hopes of being together forever. But earlier this month her nosey friend (who has a history of getting into relationships) came into our business, she talked my girlfriend into some thinking, this resulted in a 2 day argument. Once the arguing ended it was back to normal ... but she started putting in less effort towards me as her friend suggested spending more time with her other friends, by other I mean the clearly fake ones who talked a lot behind her back and didn't even like her, she started putting in less effort. I tried and worked my ass off to get her to notice the change, but she was too stubborn and denied it. We were arguing consistently for a week. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and there's financial problems in my house and my parents are arguing non stop and the tension is high. When I needed someone to talk to most my girlfriend was not there to talk, I was so emotionally broken I was so desperate I said something I shouldn't have said to get her attention, I didn't mean it it was just to get attention. She turned it into a huge thing, she said I broke us up when I never did or said we did. She won't take me back or believe me, her family or friends when we say I didn't mean it. This killed me and the relationship ended so randomly and unexpectedly and it happened so fast. So much was left unsaid.

 

She asked for space, which I believe is her saying she won't get back together. She looks to move on so quickly, no she didn't cheat, but some of my friends and I think she used this as a way to leave by using me slipping up as an excuse to leave. I'm having such a rough time moving on. She has better connections with guys whereas most of my connections with girls were either cut off because of relationship or were too close. She's gotten rid of any traces of our relationships, it hurts that she was able to delete all pictures, get rid of the expensive necklace I bought her, get rid of my hoodies and just straight up start talking to other guys so quickly. It's only been a couple of days since breaking up. I hate seeing it, I'm fine at school when I'm distracted by my friends, but when I'm alone it's terrible, so many thoughts so many worries. I'm always worrying and having thoughts of seeing her with another guy and them having sex or doing sexual things, it hurts so much. It just happened so fast I'm just so stunned. Like what if she turns into a hoe or just another one of those girls flirting with every guy? How could I bare to see the girl I loved so much and gave the world too kissing up on another guy giving up her body and time to someone else, doing all the things we did or would've done, seeing her happy with someone else? I'm in this idea that I'll never find anyone better, is it true or just a phase feeling?

 

I just don't see how someone could throw something so good away over something so little, and just burn all the promises into lies and then be fine and move on so fast? Especially with all the effort I put in why wouldn't she believe me? Actions > words, and I was giving it my all. People noticed how great of a boyfriend I was and tell me I deserve better but this attraction I have to her is so overpowering, I thought she was the one and I tried so hard.

Edited April 28, 2016 by DeAndre
Forgot some details

[ExpatInItaly]

What exactly did you say to her that upset her so much?

 

Sometimes we don't realize how much words hurt, especially if feelings are already fading. I think she was checking out already and whatever you said was the straw that broke the camel's back. That's my guess, anyway.

 

And if she's an adult, she is capable of thinking for herself. Sure, her friends' ideas might have contributed to her thought process but she's not a robot. is she? You have to realize her choices were her responsibility. For whatever reason, she agreed with her friends. And yes, this feeling of sadness will pass in time. You are in mourning now but it does get better, bit by bit.

 

How long were you together?