Woggle Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 I just got done installing a sound system in her and her husband's house and she was there alone so I was explaining to her how it worked and all that stuff and she starts complimenting me. She is a big Trump supporter and she said she is surprised that I am a liberal because most liberal men are emasculated wimps and I am nothing like that. She then proceeded to tell me how lucky her sister is because I am a take charge alpha who pulled himself out of the gutter to make something of his life while her husband is a spoiled brat who can't take care of anything. She wishes she was married to a man like me and jokingly asked if I would hang out with her husband and teach him how to be a man. She also had a few drinks in her. Did she cross the line and should I tell my wife about this?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Maybe I am naive. I don't think it was hitting on you. It was her idea of a compliment. At the expense of her husband. I'd be more shocked at how she just disrespected her mate. But that's just me. I think if she was hitting on you shed try to hang out with you WITHOUT her husband. IDK. Keep vigilant. 9
LivingWaterPlease Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Imo, this incident was not hitting on you, though was very disrespectful to her husband. Not the type of person I'd want to hang with, either. 6
MrMeh Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 If you look anything like Ivanka Trump, then I would be worried.
Marc878 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 This is exactly how an emotional affair starts. You'd better put up boundaries right now!!!!!! Read "Not Just Friends" Compliments Complaints about the spouse Getting to close Etc Beware!!!!!! 1
Tayla Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Woggle, go hug that wife of yours. She must speak well of you for your sister in law to convey such regard for your past achievements. I think her body language and NON verbal behavior would be more conducive to decide if she was hitting on you. And that is hard to know online for us to formulate an accurate response. And yes, share with your wife, I'm sure she'll find a diplomatic way to interpret this scenario. 4
Scarlett.O'hara Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Unless you have left out something like she was leaning her chest against you suggestively while saying it or giving you "the look", then it was more likely an excuse to berate her husband and liberals at the same time. There may be some resentment growing in her marriage or perhaps that is just her humor when she has had a few. She is more likely to go home and fantasize about Trump by the sound of it so I wouldn't be too concerned that she had bad intentions. However, I would still share the information with your wife. She might already be aware about their issues, but if nothing else it might help to ease your mind. 1
carhill Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Don't worry about it Wogs. She just had some drink in her and was letting loose a bit. You're her sister's H. You're safe. I've had what the above poster mentioned plus some unexpectedly wet kisses and ILY's and it's just dabbling or fluffing for the H. No biggie. Fantasy. Hope the sound system rocks. Good work...
salparadise Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 (edited) ...because most liberal men are emasculated wimps and I am nothing like that. She then proceeded to tell me how lucky her sister is because I am a take charge alpha who pulled himself out of the gutter to make something of his life while her husband is a spoiled brat who can't take care of anything. She wishes she was married to a man like me and jokingly asked if I would hang out with her husband and teach him how to be a man. I think she has a future in politics. She sounds just like the donald. He's going to need someone like her in the diplomatic corps... to keep friends and foes in their place, assess their masculinity and comment on the size of their hands. Edited April 28, 2016 by salparadise 1
amaysngrace Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 She wants you to do more crap around her house for her so she was flattering you. 6
Methodical Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 My take on her comments is that she feels like she married a bratty wimp who can't take care of things around the house, like installing a sound system. Perhaps all the flashy possessions and privileged lifestyle that she once found attractive has now worn off and she sees him in a different light. She wants him to man up bc she doesn't find his lack of manliness appealing. I guess she doesn't realize her slanderous remarks are equally unappealing and she def. doesn't respect her husband. 3
jen1447 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 ^ In the same vein, not to burst your bubble but usually when women run a guy down and say sth nice about you in the process, it's actually all about the guy they're running down and you're just a vehicle to give her a voice for the frustrations and frame the complaint. Unless she showed you her boobs or sth. 5
Popsicle Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 (edited) She's probably just taking the opportunity to complain about her husband and/or life. Some peoplejust love to do that. She's unhappy, that's for sure, but I wouldn't assume she's going after YOU. I also wouldn't volunteer to be an ear for her anymore either. Make it time for you to go every time she wants to vent about that from now on. Edited May 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language ~T 4
Tiger Lily Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 She wishes she was married to a man like me and jokingly asked if I would hang out with her husband and teach him how to be a man. She probably wasn't joking as much as you might think! She just might want you to spend some time with her H, and rub off on him a bit. Did she cross the line and should I tell my wife about this? I don't think she crossed a line, but I personally think it would be better to tell your wife. I think it'd prevent any current or future problems. I don't think you have to make it a big deal, just let your wife know her sister was venting etc. 4
LivingWaterPlease Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 I don't think she crossed a line, but I personally think it would be better to tell your wife. I think it'd prevent any current or future problems. I don't think you have to make it a big deal, just let your wife know her sister was venting etc. I was also going to add what Tiger Lily wrote about letting your wife know, not making a big deal of it. Imo, the more H and W communicate about stuff like this even when it seems inconsequential, the better. I never (can't think of a time, but maybe there has been one) tell a H or a W anything they have to keep from the other and may even add, "Please don't share this with anyone except your H (or W, whatever)." For me, part of being a friend of the marriage is to expect and/or suggest for a person to share with his/her spouse. 1
serial muse Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 ^ In the same vein, not to burst your bubble but usually when women run a guy down and say sth nice about you in the process, it's actually all about the guy they're running down and you're just a vehicle to give her a voice for the frustrations and frame the complaint. Unless she showed you her boobs or sth. I suspect this is the case, too - sounds like she has some issues with her H right now and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, Woggle. She put you in an uncomfortable place for sure, but doesn't sound like she was hitting on you. So, I wouldn't say to your wife, "your sister was hitting on me", which is a tough statement to come back from. But you could open a conversation about this with your wife by asking her why she's bad-mouthing her husband to you and what's going on with them. 3
Liam1 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 I just got done installing a sound system in her and her husband's house and she was there alone so I was explaining to her how it worked and all that stuff and she starts complimenting me. She is a big Trump supporter and she said she is surprised that I am a liberal because most liberal men are emasculated wimps and I am nothing like that. She then proceeded to tell me how lucky her sister is because I am a take charge alpha who pulled himself out of the gutter to make something of his life while her husband is a spoiled brat who can't take care of anything. She wishes she was married to a man like me and jokingly asked if I would hang out with her husband and teach him how to be a man. She also had a few drinks in her. Did she cross the line and should I tell my wife about this? No. Actually, IMO, she was just venting. A woman is not hitting on you every time she compliments you. As others have noted, unless she was leaning against you or hugging you when she said it. She is just venting. Also, typically a woman will start talking in a sexually flirtatious way, and get a somewhat touchy/feely, when they are hitting on you. The bigger question might be why did you suddenly think she was "hitting" on you? Is there more?
jen1447 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 The big tell would be did her eyes sparkle? You can always tell flirt in the eyes and smile. (Tho if her eyes flashed that would be similar but diff - it'd be anger at hubby - but there'd be a scowl, not a smile.) 1
Author Woggle Posted April 28, 2016 Author Posted April 28, 2016 The big tell would be did her eyes sparkle? You can always tell flirt in the eyes and smile. (Tho if her eyes flashed that would be similar but diff - it'd be anger at hubby - but there'd be a scowl, not a smile.) They did plus you had to see her body language. I am not the only one that notices how she acts around me. Chances are she would never do anything but it seems like I am some measuring stick she compares her husband to. My wife knows they are having problems and wonders how anybody can stand her. She only has good relationship with her so she can see her niece and nephew.
jen1447 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 They did plus you had to see her body language. I am not the only one that notices how she acts around me. Chances are she would never do anything but it seems like I am some measuring stick she compares her husband to. My wife knows they are having problems and wonders how anybody can stand her. She only has good relationship with her so she can see her niece and nephew. Hm, well I guess that changes things. Was she smiling at you, did she push her boobs out (I don't mean dramatically, just women will make their boobs more prominent and less 'defended' when they're attracted to someone), did she face you squarely, and was her posture relaxed and accessible - like leaning against a wall, hand on hip, etc. Not balled fists, folded arms, tension. And how close was she to you thru all this? 1
preraph Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 She was just making conversation and expressing her gratitude. Nothing more. 2
losangelena Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 I just got done installing a sound system in her and her husband's house and she was there alone so I was explaining to her how it worked and all that stuff and she starts complimenting me. She is a big Trump supporter and she said she is surprised that I am a liberal because most liberal men are emasculated wimps and I am nothing like that. She then proceeded to tell me how lucky her sister is because I am a take charge alpha who pulled himself out of the gutter to make something of his life while her husband is a spoiled brat who can't take care of anything. She wishes she was married to a man like me and jokingly asked if I would hang out with her husband and teach him how to be a man. She also had a few drinks in her. Did she cross the line and should I tell my wife about this? Tell her she should reserve her judgements until after she gets railed by a hot-blooded Democrat.
Author Woggle Posted April 29, 2016 Author Posted April 29, 2016 I asked my wife if her and her husband are having problems and my wife told that she married him because of what he can provide for her and this is what happens when you do that. She married a sensitive guy when she wants a strong alpha male. I told her what she said and she said more likely she wants to use me as a weapon to bludgeon her husband with rather than her actually having any interest. She does this with man she meets that she deems masculine enough to compare against her husband. She also thinks her sister must have been adopted because she is completely unlike the rest of the family and this isn't how their parents raised them. 2
Aniela Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I asked my wife if her and her husband are having problems and my wife told that she married him because of what he can provide for her and this is what happens when you do that. She married a sensitive guy when she wants a strong alpha male. I told her what she said and she said more likely she wants to use me as a weapon to bludgeon her husband with rather than her actually having any interest. She does this with man she meets that she deems masculine enough to compare against her husband. She also thinks her sister must have been adopted because she is completely unlike the rest of the family and this isn't how their parents raised them. When my sister's husband hit on me, he tried to get into bed with me, as well. I have wondered if he was ever actually attracted to me, or if he just liked stirring things up, causing trouble - having that power over someone (my sister), you know? Turning her against her own sister. He definitely used her to hurt me. 1
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