Omaha402 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Hi guys- my gf broke up with me about 2 weeks ago .. And after nc now wants her things back from my place. I have boxed all of it up.. But one question I had is what to do with old pictures of us and notes she wrote me. Do I put those in the box as well so that she has to look at them? Or do I just keep those out and throw them away on my own time. ( overall hope to get her back eventually if possible) Thanks
CarrieT Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 If you had blocked, you wouldn't have been able to receive the message... In the grand scheme of things, it is just "stuff" and there is no reason to have any contact. Just mail back what she wants and leave it at that.
sowhynot Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 I'd keep them. She's bound to have pictures of you somewhere. Giving everything back seems very final, almost like slamming the door in her face which doesn't bode well for a (admittedly very unlikely) reconciliation in the future. I look at my ex'ss pictures occasionally - reminds me of the good times we had and it's nice to do so without any negative feelings towards her. 1
carhill Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 IMO, beyond her belongings, I'd put anything else you don't wish to keep in the box and let her deal with it. I think that's very commendable of you to take the time to pack everything up for her and be cooperative in ending your association. Also, having been through a few relationships and a divorce and, well, doing a gigantic version of your packing thing, I'd recommend packing up your hopes for reconciliation into the box as well. I know it's normal to hope people change their minds but, in reality, they very rarely do. IMO, it's healthier to accept the real today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
basil67 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Just give her the things which are hers. If the photos or notes are yours, don't give them back.
Author Omaha402 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Posted April 27, 2016 Yeah I think I'm going to just keep the notes /pics out... They know what they have written and have there own pics.. Don't want it to look like I am attempting to guilt them or make feel bad. Then I guess back to no contact? Any thoughts?
sowhynot Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Yep, NC it is. The smart money suggests you leave the boxes at a mutual friends house or similar so you won' see each other. Deep breath, it'll get better.
carhill Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Sounds like you have it handled. The fallout of my style was my exW kept some of the prints of our wedding and I got the negative and some other stuff like that back later. She also found some scrapbooks that she did that she thought I'd like so gave them back later too. All amicable. I did what I did because she's the family historian and I erred on the side of relevant material and let her decide. I did keep BD and anniversary cards she had given me. However, a marriage is a far cry different from a BF/GF situation. It is ever No contact works wonders. Myself, I'm still loving all the empty space divorcing provided. It was like a housecleaning. She put our marital cat to sleep today and was nice enough to contact me some six years later to let me know. That kind of contact I like and respect her for it. Hope your situation resolves similarly.
dumbass2 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Yeah I think I'm going to just keep the notes /pics out... They know what they have written and have there own pics.. Don't want it to look like I am attempting to guilt them or make feel bad. Then I guess back to no contact? Any thoughts? Try your best right now to not see her. Like others have suggested, give to a friend to give to her or leave on her porch, something like that. Glad you decided to keep the pics and notes. Unless is was a really ugly relationship and break up, it is a chapter in your life and I'm sure you had some good times.
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