How to move on?

[Dangelo]

Recently broke up with a girl I loved and cared for so much. We had a great loving loyal relationship. Recently we broke up because I said something I didn't mean, no matter how much I or others tell her I didn't mean it and no matter how hard I try to prove it she just won't speak about it or believe me. I feel so empty and I really want her back because I am so attracted to her, she said we'd last and I didn't expect something so little to break all these promises.

 

Now I'm trying to move on, it's been 3 days since the break up, she always said if we ever did break up she'd be crying non stop, and in school if I passed her, but that is now lies, she's moved on so fast (or at least I think), she has gotten rid of or stopped wearing anything I've gifted her, she's taken all photos of us down, she's talking and flirting with more guys, she's getting attracted to guys and it all just seems so wrong because the relation ship ended so unexpectedly and in such a quick manor. It's as if I never existed, I'm invisible to her, and just a few days ago I was kissing up on her and telling her how much I loved her, now we're strangers in such little time with so much unsaid. I have these endless thoughts of her with someone else, as well as her having sex or doing something sexual with another guy it's honestly the worst of it all and I just want to be able to move on until get her back, and even if I don't, but it's so hard because I care so much for her and watching her move on and see her around school all happy it just hurts. I need help getting through, or how to get her back.

Edited April 27, 2016 by Dangelo
Forgot some details

[d0nnivain]

healing is not a quick process. You have unrealistic expectations; it's only been 3 days.

 

Do keep busy & try to keep a smile or at least a neutral expression on your face.

[Dangelo]

What do you mean by unrealistic expectations?

[len51]

Number one rule is to never go back to someone who lets you know that they no longer love you. Love is a chemical reaction and cannot be thought into or out of existence. In my 65 years on earth, I have yet to meet someone who went back with an ex lover and made it work. The reasons why your ex left still exists and she will repeat her way of dealing with it if she goes back to you. One's past behavior is a good indicator of their future behavior. Plus it sounds like she was cheating on you before the breakup. That is not uncommon. They want to make sure that their new relationship is solid before breaking off their last one. Don't let her make you a chump.

 

The best way to get over a woman is to get under another. I had my girlfriend and fiancee of 6 years cheat on me when I was in combat and could not even come home for 6 more months. First thing I did was hook up with two women, one after the other for purely physical relationships. I only called out my exes name once and never did it again.

 

Some women and men too, will never settle down with one person.They will go from relationship to relationship and sometimes keeps a lovelorn partner as their safety net. Don't be her net and don't give her a chance to show you that she does not love you a second time.

[d0nnivain]

What do you mean by unrealistic expectations?

 

It's only been 3 days & you are wondering why you aren't over it already.

 

think of your broken heart like a broken arm. You need to wear a vast for 6 weeks then go to physical therapy. It takes a while.

 

Give yourself time. You will heal but there is no magic formula to make it go faster.

[Dangelo]

Number one rule is to never go back to someone who lets you know that they no longer love you. Love is a chemical reaction and cannot be thought into or out of existence. In my 65 years on earth, I have yet to meet someone who went back with an ex lover and made it work. The reasons why your ex left still exists and she will repeat her way of dealing with it if she goes back to you. One's past behavior is a good indicator of their future behavior. Plus it sounds like she was cheating on you before the breakup. That is not uncommon. They want to make sure that their new relationship is solid before breaking off their last one. Don't let her make you a chump.

 

The best way to get over a woman is to get under another. I had my girlfriend and fiancee of 6 years cheat on me when I was in combat and could not even come home for 6 more months. First thing I did was hook up with two women, one after the other for purely physical relationships. I only called out my exes name once and never did it again.

 

Some women and men too, will never settle down with one person.They will go from relationship to relationship and sometimes keeps a lovelorn partner as their safety net. Don't be her net and don't give her a chance to show you that she does not love you a second time.

 

She wasn't cheating, and this is mostly my fault but there is really no reason for her to give up over something so little, I think it's that she wanted to leave she just was too pussy to do it without having me slip up and use it as an excuse, but she denies it.

[sorano]

She wasn't cheating, and this is mostly my fault but there is really no reason for her to give up over something so little, I think it's that she wanted to leave she just was too pussy to do it without having me slip up and use it as an excuse, but she denies it.

 

My ex broke up with me out of the blue and left me for petty stuff. I know how you feel. Deep down inside, I know she wasn't the one for me, but at the same time, she never really gave me a chance. If you hear my story it will blow your mind.

 

I am 4 months out and I still have not recovered. I feel angry, alone, lost, and sad. If we broke up with some kind of understanding or I felt something was wrong fine. But I got dumped just like that.

[Dangelo]

My ex broke up with me out of the blue and left me for petty stuff. I know how you feel. Deep down inside, I know she wasn't the one for me, but at the same time, she never really gave me a chance. If you hear my story it will blow your mind.

 

I am 4 months out and I still have not recovered. I feel angry, alone, lost, and sad. If we broke up with some kind of understanding or I felt something was wrong fine. But I got dumped just like that.

 

Please tell the story.

[sowhynot]

I need help getting through, or how to get her back.

 

Don't even think about the latter. Doesn't work ever, no way, no how.

 

Sounds like you're still at school so unless you're a teacher, still pretty young. So it probably feels pretty rough right now.

 

It'll take a lot of effort, but you need to take a deep breath and let go. Playing it ice cool is your best bet ever of getting someone else, and, with a bit of luck, making her jealous as hell.

 

I had similar problems at college years ago. After I figured enough was enough, I threw myself into the coursework, ended up with a first class honors degree and my dream job a week before before the finals. Plus a newer, shinier girliefriend.*

 

 

 

You can do this too - just need to make that decision and work on it.

 

 

 

(* which didn't exactly last, but that was down to me )

Edited April 27, 2016 by sowhynot
P-poor spelling....

[dumbass2]

"I said something I didn't mean, no matter how much I or others tell her I didn't mean it and no matter how hard I try to prove it she just won't speak about it or believe me."

 

Are you able to tell us what it was that you said to her? I'm sure, like you said, there are probably other things and as you look back at the relationship I'm sure you'll spot them if you haven't already.