Bravedave Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Have you ever dumped someone, tried to get them back, and they were too hurt....AND eventually got them back? im curious to see how many chances people really do get if they make the proper changes...
Trinity_84 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Nope. I tried getting them back, none of them cared for it. Either I date the "never look back type" every time, or I must've done a lot of damage and they decided they were better off. Or both?
266696687 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Have you ever dumped someone, tried to get them back, and they were too hurt....AND eventually got them back? im curious to see how many chances people really do get if they make the proper changes... I'll try to answer this for you. I think in general the dumpee feels betrayed and the trust the relationship once held becomes much less significant. Being dumped changes the way you view the person and makes the dumpee insecure. They can be plagued with feelings of insecurity and worry that if they take you back you will leave again. In order to avoid this hurt they stay out of the relationship. It's self preservation. Even if they stil love you they don't want to risk being put in the same position again. A feeling of betrayal and betrayed trust is one of the hardest things to get over. it is very difficult to earn back the status of your relationship. People do get back together all the time though rightly or wrongly. It really depends on the nature of the breakup, time apart and growth of the individuals. If one person feels too hurt and betrayed depending on the circumstances then it's unlikely they will without significant reason take the dumper back. The relationship may or may not be successful a second time around but both parties must be willing to accept responsibility for their actions and work on not repeating the same mistakes again.
Author Bravedave Posted April 27, 2016 Author Posted April 27, 2016 waiting for the day. she wanted to be left alone I hurt her. but I messed up what can I do. hopefully I get another go around. I really do love her, I just couldn't get out of my own way
266696687 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 waiting for the day. she wanted to be left alone I hurt her. but I messed up what can I do. hopefully I get another go around. I really do love her, I just couldn't get out of my own way Sometimes a genuine sincere apology can help and admitting you made a mistake and letting her know you will not hurt her again. There are many ways to apologize the key is to make your one the right one. 1. Take responsibility for what you did (do not make excuses or justifications for your behaviour) 2. Accept responsibility for hurting her and letting her down. (Again make no excuses or justifications for your behaviour) 3. Let her know you will NOT hurt her the same way again. 4. Then extend the olive branch tell her you are willing to work to regain her trust. Look up online how to make a proper apology. Then leave the ball in her court. There really isn't anything further you can do other than that. You just have to give her time. If you've already apologized with no response or she really is no longer willing to participate in the relationship you need to go no contact so you can heal and move on. She knows where to find you should she change her mind. 1
urmysong Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 In my case, I am the dumpee but I'm still hoping the dumper will take me back. I don't know, maybe I just really love him so much, that I am willing to take the risk even if he will do the same mistake. Or maybe because I am thinking for our 4 year old son. I don't want him to have broken family. No one from my 7 sisters have broken family. Only me. Or I am ashamed to my family and my friends when they will found out that my husband broke up with me. I always believe what my parents told me. Make sure that You are 100 % sure that You want to marry the man You love because husband and wife is not replaceable. To me, there is no other man in the world, only him. So I still keep praying that he will come back to me.
Gloria25 Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 I believe that you need to move on and live your life. Nothing wrong with being "friendly" to the dumper. Thing is, if you move on and live your life, two things are gonna happen: 1) You'll make improvements in yourself and may meet someone better and/or have a better "you" to bring into your next RL 2) The dumper may want you back after they see the improvements you made and/or you and/or he/she is in a better, improved place in life. At first we do feel like this on a break up (wanting to do whatever to get the dumper back), but give it time, you'll move past this. Don't let it rule you. You can't live the rest of your life trying to get someone back. Now yes, the best thing you can do is take what you learned from this RL and grow. Like I said this "growth" will either result in a better life for you or one day (maybe) the dumper will want you back.
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