losangelena Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Thank you all for the comments. Correction to be made- he did not touch my crotch, nor breast. Just butt area. Not that this makes a big difference now. I got my lesson to keep my boundary consistent. It was fool of me to take his word (he's a guy I met only two times afterall) and to drink more than 3 glasses. And yes, I will just leave this one off. Even though (really IF) he texts, I'll just keep it casual tone. Oh, and he tried to get you to drink more!? This particular man (not men in general) is starting to sound like a real creep. Onward and upward, OP.
Author gkly Posted April 27, 2016 Author Posted April 27, 2016 (edited) Oh, and he tried to get you to drink more!? This particular man (not men in general) is starting to sound like a real creep. Onward and upward, OP. So two cocktails during drink date, one glass of champagne during dinner, took a walk, 1/4 of cocktail (I did not finish) at rooftop bar, another walk, cabbed and three sips of gin+tonic at his place. I didn't finish all drinks cuz I was full and he also said don't finish it if it's too much. I really should've just cabbed to my place...well the water is spilt. That's my lesson, there. Never take the word and align it with the person even though they sound caring, and stick to my boundary. Edited April 27, 2016 by gkly 1
LoveRefreshed Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 So two cocktails during drink date, one glass of champagne during dinner, took a walk, 1/4 of cocktail (I did not finish) at rooftop bar, another walk, cabbed and three sips of gin+tonic at his place. I didn't finish all drinks cuz I was full and he also said don't finish it if it's too much. I really should've just cabbed to my place...well the water is spilt. That's my lesson, there. Never take the word and align it with the person even though they sound caring, and stick to my boundary. How many drinks did he have? So it's okay for you to have judgement issues while slightly intoxicated but when he does, it becomes... I'm leaving this thread now. OP doesn't have to change a thing but her man picker. Clearly, he's a player who should have KNOWN THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO.
Author gkly Posted April 27, 2016 Author Posted April 27, 2016 Fair enough. In thinking through this further though, no don't bother texting him before he leaves. IMO he only wanted to have sex, and then leave for six weeks.... the perfect built-in excuse for creating distance .... making it quite easy for him to just fade out with zero drama. He may have even made that up. Do you know for a fact he is gone for six weeks? Or is that just what he told you? Oh well, he didn't get what he was after. Good for you for maintaining at least that boundary. Just toss this one back hun. And lesson learned for next time. If you are not interested in having sex, no going back to his on first date. Oh for that matter of 6wks business trip, he told me when we first met. We talked and I told him I'm from East Coast and he said he's going to NY for the first time in two weeks. (We met two weeks ago). That time he said he's having a project in ny for 4wks and taking 2wks break in somewhere in CA.
Jabron1 Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Is that what you would teach your son? Son, when you come across a 10 year younger virgin go ahead and play your best game on her! If she says 'no' then go ahead and insist......? Gaeta, FWIW there was a thread on this subject awhile ago, where a guy was asking how to behave around an inexperienced girl. I, and the other guys, suggested going slower, challenging her less, and being super sensitive of her body language due to not expecting green lights. Game isn't 'be as aggressive as possible' . Game is not inherently good or bad, in the same way power is not good or bad. Depends on the person using it, and whether or not the girl is enjoying herself. Personally, I wouldn't have pushed for first date sex (went out with a very inexperienced girl a few months ago and didn't - when I probably could have), but I get the impression that this guy was rushing the sex as a result of his trip. I'm not entirely sure if he's intentions are good or bad TBH - I'd have had to have been there . Depends on his communication during his trip - I suppose. 4
Gaeta Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 I, and the other guys, suggested going slower, challenging her less, and being super sensitive of her body language due to not expecting green lights. I am delighted to read t his. That is the point I was trying to make with Loverefreshed. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 Loverefreshed: if, IF OP was not 22 and a virgin AND this man was not 10 years older with plenty of experience, I would post differently. Sure men have games, men are told to be aggressive etc but we're talking about a man 10 years older with a young 22 year old with 0 experience. Is that what you would teach your son? Son, when you come across a 10 year younger virgin go ahead and play your best game on her! If she says 'no' then go ahead and insist......? Exactly. The age difference and his knowledge of her lack of experience puts this guy in a different light and not a good one at that. He was taking advantage of her. Plain and simple.
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