CaptH Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 It seems like it should be so simple, but how do you forgive someone? My bf lied to me about some things that really hurt me. Before you ask, no he didn't cheat. I'm having a hard time getting over it and forgiving him for hurting me and for lying to me. The issue I'm trying to address here isn't what he did. I'm not posting it because I don't want this to turn into a discussion about that. I'm just finding that it still upsets me and I'm having hard time just forgiving him and moving forward with our relationship. For one, I think this is because I am still angry and upset and I expect him to "fix' it. But I know what's done is done, so that's not constructive. I just have to accept it, and I'm trying. The other reason I think is that I'm continually reminded about it. Just little things in day to day life make me think of it. And the more I think about it the more frustrated I get because it still bothers me. I need to move on, I need to forgive, and I could use any advice possible for how to do this. I know it's not a big enough problem to seperate over, but it is big enough that it needs to be addressed and solved because it's causing problems between us.
Groovy Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 Anger only destroys you and can often be a useless emotion. Anger is normal and is one of the "grieving" stages. It's when we get stuck in the anger stage that we create problems for ourselves. I'd say if you can't forgive it and you still want to be with this person at least "accept it". To me, forgiveness is saying it is alright it was done. Acceptance is saying it was not O.K, but you still love the person and want to move past the issue to be happy again.
Recommended Posts