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Am I being superficial and stupid about this?!


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Posted

Hi

I've just started seeing a guy that I met out at a party. At first we would meet up at night, usually at parties or bars, and I was really attracted to him. However, we've since met up during the day and I've realised that he has quite bad skin. He has acne scarring and still gets spots.

 

I know this is terribly superficial of me but I don't know if I can get past it. It's a bit of a turn off, although I know it's not his fault and that it's probably one of the reasons that he is quite shy. I'm even unsure about introducing him to my friends - my friends are all nice, but I know they would probably make comments about it to each other.

 

I really like this guy, but I don't know how to see past this imperfection. I know I'm not perfect by any means but I just don't know if this is a deal breaker for me. Can anyone help??

 

Thanks so much.

Posted

Drop him. If you can let this bother you and if you care more about what your friends feel about his looks than about his feelings about that, then do him a favour and let him go find a nice person.

 

He didn't ask for acne - he's stuck with it. To have you dislike him because of it penalizes him further.

Posted

Most people grow out of acne. I had terrible cystic acne into my young adulthood. After it cleared up, I got dermabrasion and now have smooth, porcelain skin.

 

Think about it this way, even with acne scars and pits (probably from his youth), would anyone consider Robert Redford unattractive?

Posted

I'd say you really should be taking a closer look at yourself and the kind of people you associate with and call your "friends".

 

 

Mature adults arent supposed to be going around behind peoples backs making fun of them. That was done between 3rd period and homeroom. If you KNOW its superficial, then you know dropping him because of scars is wrong. And just mean. Although, if you cannot get past it, do him a favor, let him go. The last thing he needs is you using it as ammunition in any fight in the future you two may have.

Posted

You're probably right, but I really think that you're being a bit harsh.

 

I'm just being honest. Physical attraction is obviously extremely important in any relationship - I doubt any of you would go out with someone you weren't attracted to just to be "nice".

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