MA10 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Ok so my boyfriend that I had been dating for 1 year recently ended things about 2 weeks ago. Our relationship was great except for the constant stupid arguments which would ruin all of the good times. There were so many times where we almost ended things but I would promise to not nag and create stupid arguments and we would give the relationship another shot. I never took these chances seriously and he finally got to the point where he was too hurt to try any longer. He ended things over text. We had to see each other after the breakup for a problem we had to deal with and I begged for another chance which just angered him. I've asked him how he's doing and it hurt when he said he was happy. He now says he can't talk to me because it is too hard. I have to see him this weekend and I'm hoping that maybe the space has made him miss us and want to give it another chance. It's so hard since our problems could have been resolved! Also now I think his ex of three years is trying to get him back which worries me since she ended things with him and maybe he still has feelings for her. Do I have any chance of getting him back? Is there anything I can do when I see him this weekend that will get him to give us another chance?
ExpatInItaly Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Ok so my boyfriend that I had been dating for 1 year recently ended things about 2 weeks ago. Our relationship was great except for the constant stupid arguments which would ruin all of the good times. There were so many times where we almost ended things but I would promise to not nag and create stupid arguments and we would give the relationship another shot. I never took these chances seriously and he finally got to the point where he was too hurt to try any longer. He ended things over text. We had to see each other after the breakup for a problem we had to deal with and I begged for another chance which just angered him. I've asked him how he's doing and it hurt when he said he was happy. He now says he can't talk to me because it is too hard. I have to see him this weekend and I'm hoping that maybe the space has made him miss us and want to give it another chance. It's so hard since our problems could have been resolved! Also now I think his ex of three years is trying to get him back which worries me since she ended things with him and maybe he still has feelings for her. Do I have any chance of getting him back? Is there anything I can do when I see him this weekend that will get him to give us another chance? First, you need to realize your relationship wasn't great. By your own description, there was constant arguing and many near-break-ups. That sounds quite the opposite of great, to be honest. What were you two arguing about all the time? Arguing can really wear someone out. One too many times and it's clear you're not compatible. It sounds like you knew what needed to change but you chose to ignore it. Can you explain why you didn't take that seriously? And no, I don't think seeing him this weekend will change his mind. Not enough time has passed for him to miss you. He's really had no breathing space. The memory of the breakup and the reasons for it are still forefront in his mind. When you see him, just be polite and that's it. Don't try to talk to him about anything else. He's already made it clear he doesn't want to continue with you; pushing him or trying to win him back now will push him away. Why? Two reasons: A) Too little too late, and/or B) He knows no substantial changes can happen that fast. It doesn't matter what his ex does or doesn't do. Your focus needs to be on detaching since he's already ended the relationship. Go No Contact to begin your healing. It's not impossible that he will come back, but do not bank on it. Use No Contact as a way to move forward for yourself and reflect on what you can do differently in your next relationship, regardless of whom it's with.
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 No you can't get him back & you shouldn't want to. this relationship was a dysfunctional mess. "Constant stupid arguments" means you two were fundamentally incompatible. If he was accusing you of nagging him all the time you are either the world's worst GF or, more probably, your needs were not getting met in this relationship & he viewed any attempt by you to be heard as nagging. That is just wrong. Let this relationship go. Take some time to mourn. In a few months look back & see what you can learn from this mess. I suspect you will learn that you are not a nag bu instead you were trying to date a guy that failing to fulfill your needs. If your needs were unreasonable that may be one thing you need to change for your next relationship.
Satu Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 "Constant stupid arguments" are guaranteed to sink any relationship. People just don't want that kind of aggravation in their lives. Take care.
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