mammasita Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Its pretty obvious my man lives with me, I don't know why my married neighbor thinks I'd let him "take me out". He's asked a few times now. I'm pretty clear saying "I don't think so" and "you're crazy for asking that"......maybe that's too open ended. Do I tell the BF so he can squash it?
carhill Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 'Sure, stop by anytime; I'd love for you to meet my boyfriend' Then sit back, crack open a beer and watch how it goes. I guess I'm at an age where life is too short to take things seriously and I kinda enjoy what my best friend's wife calls 'being an instigator'. Heh. 6
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Cuz "shacking-up" doesn't mean a thing... Married people live together. Two people dating under the same roof are not committed. So, you're married neighbor considers you "single" and willing to put up with whatever (some guy living with you w/o commitment). My fav podcaster gets a lot of calls like this and people's mouths drop to the floor when she tells them that them shacking up doesn't mean a thing and if dude wants to bring a gal over and do her on their couch, he can do it. 1
Liam1 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Its pretty obvious my man lives with me, I don't know why my married neighbor thinks I'd let him "take me out". He's asked a few times now. I'm pretty clear saying "I don't think so" and "you're crazy for asking that"......maybe that's too open ended. Do I tell the BF so he can squash it? You said he has "asked a few times." So that indicates that you are continuing to interact with him. Stop. By talking to him, after his invite, you are sending mixed signals. He suggested something that you found offensive. However, He likely thinks you would stop talking to him by now, if you were truly not interested in his invitation. 3
Miss Peach Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I just invite my BF during the offer. So if a guy asks to take you to a movie say something like "My BF has been talking about that movie. I'm sure he would love to come to that!" That usually stops them when they realize they aren't getting me alone. Then I see them get non-committal pretty fast. 1
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Let your bf and his wife know. Ooh, I'd have fun with this... I'd invite him, his wife over for food or bbq and be like "So neighbor, I was considering your offers to hook-up and nah, I'm not interested"....
preraph Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Loudly bust him for it, where everybody hears so he doesn't try it again. Don't keep it a secret for him. Show him with one loud outburst you'll tell the world. 2
Shanex Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Tell him to take a cold shower and also to put ice in his pants. 2
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 You said he has "asked a few times." So that indicates that you are continuing to interact with him. Stop. By talking to him, after his invite, you are sending mixed signals. He suggested something that you found offensive. However, He likely thinks you would stop talking to him by now, if you were truly not interested in his invitation. Exactly... Women are too polite with squashing down a creep and/or showing a lack of interest and some guys see that as them still having a chance with you. 2
almond Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Cuz "shacking-up" doesn't mean a thing... Married people live together. Two people dating under the same roof are not committed. So, you're married neighbor considers you "single" and willing to put up with whatever (some guy living with you w/o commitment). My fav podcaster gets a lot of calls like this and people's mouths drop to the floor when she tells them that them shacking up doesn't mean a thing and if dude wants to bring a gal over and do her on their couch, he can do it. Ridiculous blanket statements. 5
Sub Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Ridiculous blanket statements. Fortunately, most people realize that it does mean a thing. Two people don't need to be married to live together and be considered in a committed relationship. OP, if he asks again, get your phone out and tell him to ask one more time into the camera. 1
Arieswoman Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Mamasita Do I tell the BF so he can squash it? No. You take control of the situation as an independent, intelligent, confident woman and say ;- "Look X (or whatever his name is) I am with Y and I don't find your suggestions appropriate. Please don't ask me again about this." And then you turn your back and walk away. if he keeps on making inaproppiate comments then you may want to take it further... 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 27, 2016 Posted April 27, 2016 Whatever, this guy is a douche. Next time he asks, I'd grab his hand, walk over to his house and call on his wife to weigh in on things. Problem O.V.E.R. 1
Jersey born raised Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 I noticed you have been a member since 2012 with several thousand posts. I looked at your profile page and saw 128 threads you started on a large range of topics. It would appear you are a very open person and eclectic in nature. I suspect many man are drawn to you for various reasons, but I doubt none for who you are overall. Based on a few facts you need to assume he is a player looking for a causal open relationship. He will continue to pursue you for decades. Hence the need to shut him down hard. Listen this guy is a prime example of why God invented weighted 2x4s and brass knuckles. Short of actual torture you need to make yourself clear. 1
ASG Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Cuz "shacking-up" doesn't mean a thing... Married people live together. Two people dating under the same roof are not committed. So, you're married neighbor considers you "single" and willing to put up with whatever (some guy living with you w/o commitment). My fav podcaster gets a lot of calls like this and people's mouths drop to the floor when she tells them that them shacking up doesn't mean a thing and if dude wants to bring a gal over and do her on their couch, he can do it. Re the bold, that's not necessarily true. Where I'm from, if you live with someone for 2 years (not as roommates, obviously), you are in a de facto union and you have the same legal rights as someone who has signed papers. Sure, you don't need to spend money to get a divorce, should things go south, but I'd say you ARE committed. Why does there have to be a piece of paper signed to demonstrate commitment? 1
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