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Shocking advice from a dating guru

hawx79

By hawx79
in Dating

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hawx79 Established Member

hawx79

Posted
Posted

Basically this guys is saying women will treat you a lot better when they know you have no problem replacing them. So you need to get laid as soon as possible with her. And soon she will be the one wanting a relationship with you, instead of you with her!

She will assume you’re the type of guy who pulls girls easily and will have no problem replacing her.

 

 

Anyone agree on this?

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
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I generally don't agree with sweeping generalizations.

 

This sounds like advice from a PUA site. It might be good for getting laid. but if you're looking for a real, lasting relationship, put the "tricks" back in the circular file where they belong, and just be yourself.

  • Like 7
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted
Basically this guys is saying women will treat you a lot better when they know you have no problem replacing them. So you need to get laid as soon as possible with her. And soon she will be the one wanting a relationship with you, instead of you with her!

She will assume you’re the type of guy who pulls girls easily and will have no problem replacing her.

 

 

Anyone agree on this?

 

 

No.

 

If this is the case, then go be with them.

  • Like 2
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Most guys of my generation appeared to get that message from their fathers when adolescents, meaning the brain chemistry of sex is the emotional hook for women and to have sex with women as early and as often as possible to get them to bond with one.

 

Being the uncooperative sort, I decided it was better to get to know women, develop intimacy, fall in love and then get to the sex part. What a dope I was :DIMO, while people may find the advice coarse and somewhat repugnant to hear or read, I think it's spot-on.

  • Like 1
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
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Unless you're just looking for loose booty, have at it. I'm sure they don't mind the sloppy seconds.

 

If all you want is to get laid and that's it (yawn), then do that. If you want a relationship and all that goes with it, then you'd be best advised to drop the stupid game playing.

  • Like 3
GR4 Established Member

GR4

Posted
Posted
Unless you're just looking for loose booty, have at it. I'm sure they don't mind the sloppy seconds.

 

If all you want is to get laid and that's it (yawn), then do that. If you want a relationship and all that goes with it, then you'd be best advised to drop the stupid game playing.

 

I don't know what's so 'yawn' about just wanting to get laid. Not everyone is after a relationship and love you know...

central Established Member

central

Posted
Posted

In some situations, I think the advice is valid. In the early days of dating someone, she will either show considerable interest, or not. If she is showing interest, go with that if you are also interested. If she is not showing much interest, then letting her realize that you have other options may clarify her view of you, and she will either show more interest in order to keep you, or dump you. That's a good outcome either way, since it is clear and doesn't waste your time being an option rather than a choice.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted
I don't know what's so 'yawn' about just wanting to get laid. Not everyone is after a relationship and love you know...

 

 

after a certain age, it's so trifling and tragic...

 

but what is more interesting is why you feel so indicted that you had to protest.

  • Like 1
blackcat777 Established Member

blackcat777

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I do think a lot of the PUA tactics work best on *insecure* women...

 

But if you're looking for a chick with healthy boundaries...

 

So what if the girl is insecure? Does this dress make me look fat? Who are you texting?! GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!!

  • Like 2
RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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If you are looking for a girlfriend you respect and enjoy, drop the manipulative games.

 

If you are just looking to get laid - don't pretend you are looking for a relationship.

 

And yes, the PUA games work in girls who have low self esteem - and are probably generally a bunch of drama!

  • Like 3
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Can't speak for other demographics but in mine, if a man doesn't strike hard and close the deal, he loses. Women are snatched up before the ink on their divorces is dry. Yeah, sex is a part of closing the deal. I know we like to couch it in all these flowery and romantic terms of endearment but really it's reproductive drive and brain chemicals that bond people, or can bond them.

 

Heh, I've even seen the effects with MW's who ostensibly 'hate' their spouses. The guy is smart and keeps sexing them, getting that jolt of intimacy and brain chemicals, that keeps them in the game. Heh, after awhile one can smell it on them. Yeah, that's kinda coarse but mating is like that. It's war. :D

 

However, I did get a wonderful view plot at the cemetery for being such an uncooperative dope who always thought the best of women. I even got a gently flowing creek. It'll be nice. Maybe a few ladies I loved will even visit to enjoy, you know, the view. Heh. I won't engrave any dating guides as my epitaph. Fail.

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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To the extent that the foundation of that "advice" is that a man ought to have self confidence, it's valid. Somebody who is secure in themselves & comfortable in their own skin doesn't need PUA (guys) or the Rules (girls).

 

To the extent that it advocates trying to score with little regard for the other person's humanity or feelings or that it advocates playing games, the particular methodology should be avoided.

  • Like 1
Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

Posted
Posted

This 'advice' sounds like it's from the book 'How to Attract a Doormat'.

  • Like 3
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted

y

Basically this guys is saying women will treat you a lot better when they know you have no problem replacing them. So you need to get laid as soon as possible with her. And soon she will be the one wanting a relationship with you, instead of you with her!

She will assume you’re the type of guy who pulls girls easily and will have no problem replacing her.

 

 

Anyone agree on this?

 

It sounds to me like this "guru" is banking on the ole theory that having sex with man releases some "bonding" type hormone in women, thus guaranteeing that she will become so emotionally attached to him after sex, she won't ever want to leave.

 

I would suggest that guru read this board and the hundreds of threads from women stating that is NOT the case.... that often times after sex, SHE is the one who starts pulling away.. or in many cases, doesn't even want to see him again.

  • Like 4
joseb Established Member

joseb

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I think there is some validity in the tactic. There is no doubt a lot of feel.good hormones are produced during sex.

 

It kind of sounds like the flip side of the advice often given to women to hold out on having sex until.the guy commits to a relationship. I think both tactics are about even in terms of manipulation.

 

Personally I do want to have sex pretty early, not to manipulate but to see if we are sexually compatible.

mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted
...And soon she will be the one wanting a relationship with you, instead of you with her...

 

 

I'm confused. Why would any person (men, included) want someone one to wanta relationship with them, when they don't want a relationship with that someone?!?

 

 

Are there a lot of people (men, included) who desire to have stalkers? And, there's actual advice books and online advice sites - which people pay for - telling people how to get themselves some stalkers???

  • Like 1
iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
Posted

Well... I did... Turned out she got feelings attached... and she was kind os young and insercure. So yes, that may work on girls who are like immature or insecure.

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)
I think there is some validity in the tactic. There is no doubt a lot of feel.good hormones are produced during sex.

 

 

Perhaps that's true for some women, but certainly not all. And certainly not enough to warrant writing an article about how it will guaranty you a woman will want a RL with you.

 

As many many women have attested to on this board, unless they have feelings for a guy prior to sex, they're certainly not gonna suddenly develop feelings for him after sex.

 

Even if the sex is good, the feelings still won't be there.... but she may keep him around as an FWB.

Edited by katiegrl
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