mact Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 A few weeks back I met this guy at the local pub and we started talking and just seemed to click. We ended up dancing and kissing a lot and although we had only known each other a few hours I was so happy spending time with him and he told me he really liked me too. The thing with me is that I don't do feelings or relationships, that's not my style. I don't expose myself to it incase I get hurt but this one time I decided that he was okay and he wasn't going to hurt me (he even told me that himself). Anyway he added himself on my Facebook account and said when he got WiFi he would accept my friend request but for the meantime I got his friends number so I could text them about hanging out the next day. The next day rolls around, his friend texted me and we made plans for them to come around for drinks that night, so I invited a few other people too. They came over and things were really good again, we talked a lot and I got to know him a lot better and he asked if he could stay the night which I was fine with. The weird thing was that he said he didn't want to have sex with me, and it wasn't anything to do with me but it was just too soon. I wasn't really offended but thought it was weird. Found out later that apparently I'm the first girl he's been with in 8 months because he broke up with his ex of 3 years and still hasn't gotten over her. We slept in the same bed, we cuddled and nothing else happened. We woke up the next morning and him and his friend left and he said he would message me on Facebook when he could. It's now been over a month and I still haven't heard from him.. I was upset at first but got over him pretty fast, I just felt stupid for doing the opposite of what I believe in for once and it ended up being the wrong thing. Anyway so this weekend I went to the same pub with a group of friends and he was there. When he saw me he looked very shocked, turned and stood with his back to me. Then I realised he was with another girl and they were all over each other. Yeah I was a bit surprised at first but what ever I just wanted to have a good night. Then he moved tables to one that was opposite mine so I could always see him. He was dangling this other girl in front of me all night and wouldn't stop looking at me, I had so many of my friends ask why he kept looking at me and it was really upsetting me. And then he comes right up to my table, stands in front of me and starts talking to one of my friends. I mean ignoring me for a month is one thing, as I said I was over that and I shouldn't have gotten involved in someone that I knew for two days. But why would he continue trying to hurt me? Why wouldn't he stop looking at me? And why would he dangle some other girl in front of me? I just don't understand what I did to deserve it
carhill Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I've seen this kind of stuff with ladies back when I was in my 20's. In my case I was filler material when they were having a spat with their husbands. Of course I didn't know that at the time. Usually the 'we just met and it's like we've known each other forever' stuff is, well, too good to be true and it usually works out just that way. I think, rather than guys intentionally trying to hurt girls, they simply don't care if they do hurt girls. That certainly was the case with the MW's in my examples. I was just another guy to fill up the empty space. There was nothing malicious about their actions or intent, IMO, simply self-involvement. Perfectly normal.
scooby-philly Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 Seriously - how old are you guys? Listen, I don't go out a lot and never have. I enjoy life but bars aren't places I want to spend more than a night or two a month at best. He was probably shocked to see you and 1. was worried you'd come over and cause a scene or 2. felt awkward b/c he didn't expect to see you and knew he left you in a lurch the past month. Yes, he could have been a jerk but her certainly was nice enough not to just jump in the sack with you right away. Anyway - don't bother. Good guys exist - but as you can suspect - we don't spend most of our times in bars. 2
Buddhist Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 But why would he continue trying to hurt me? Why wouldn't he stop looking at me? And why would he dangle some other girl in front of me? I just don't understand what I did to deserve it Because clearly he wants your attention. If you meant nothing to him then he wouldn't bother he would just not even notice you are there. Guys, when they are boys revert to the 8yr old that pulls the wings off flies and teases their sister. It's ALL attention seeking behaviour. And when a grown man does this you can rest assured you are not missing out on anything, he clearly has self esteem issues and a pretty primitive idea of dealing with it. :roll eyes: He wants a reaction to assure himself that he is significant. Don't give him one and there will be no reason to enter your sphere. 5
Recommended Posts