amy.a.9 Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 So I've been seeing this guy "casually" for about a month. It's been progressing pretty quickly, even though it's supposed to be casual, and he acts like he's very interested in me. He does a lot of very nice things for me. He took me out to a nice restaurant on Friday, literally surprised me by not telling me where we were going. We go stargazing together. He tells me I'm beautiful. We walked on a boardwalk by the river Saturday night to watch the sun set. I love to go for bike rides and he decided to buy a bike so we're going to go for bike rides together. If I'm cold he'll give me his jacket. He holds my hand and never pressures me to do anything I don't want to do (we haven't slept together). We even sat down one day and wrote up a list of things we want to do together in the next few months. Literally thirty things, a number of which included short trips, etc. It FEELS like something that could turn serious, except... Texting. Contact. In the past week, he's only initiated contact once. We USED to have this cute system where we alternated who texted first. In the past week, that's fallen apart. I mainly text first. He responds, often slowly but he will respond. I have a lot of anxiety and this is really making me nervous. I tried not texting him on Sunday and heard nothing from him. Texted him today. Probably will try not texting him tomorrow to see what he does. But, UGH. I want to hear from him. I feel better since we wrote up the list and he suggested we hang out Saturday. But I still feel insecure. Do I say something? If so, in person, or do I gently nudge him over text? He really, really seems interested, so this confuses me. Is it a sign of disinterest? He knows I have anxiety about this (and in general) so if I brought it up I could mention it in terms of alleviating the anxiety for me. It's only been a month though and I don't want to put too much pressure on this thing. I'm pretty inexperienced with these things (hah, can you tell?). What would you do?
JewelD Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I had this same issue awhile ago. What I learned is this: there are two types of people when it comes to texting. 1. People who just don't like texting or are busy and 2. People who only text when they feel the conversation is worth it. Since you've met him in person, you should assume he's type 1. As long as you keep seeing each other in person and he's consistent with that, I wouldn't worry too much about the texting at this stage. If it becomes serious, then maybe mention it. But right now, he might take it as you being a bit clingy. In my situation, I said something about it to the girl and it completely turned her off. But she was a type 2 person and we didn't have a physical connection yet. But yeah, just chill and don't worry too much about it. Text him if you want to, but don't feel obligated to keep starting the conversations. 1
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