zack121 Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 ANother possibly silly post... question, why do women give sex away so soon/early in the relastionship.. I have always thought that if a women would sleep with me on the first date, then she would sleep with someone else too just as quickly. that is to say, that if you concider yourself just to be a adverage/normal guy, then does this not imply that another adverage/normal guy, could also chase and she'd do the same. The second night I was with my ex, I said sure we can do this, and you'll never see me again, or we can wait and I'll see you tommorow, spent the night cuddling her, and left a flower on her bed the next day (she was asleep). I don;t understand why, they think sex is so giveawayable, perhaps its just dependant on the girl, but I see girls just sleeping with guys like ASAP. Is it to like test the sexual compatability? what gives?
Sparky Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 why do women give sex away so soon/early in the relastionship.. WOW! Never heard that one before! It's normally the other way around, and the guys want the sex sooner. I honestly don't have the SLIGHTEST idea! Keep in mind that everyone is different, and the sex drives aren't always the same for a specific gender. I COULD have to do with sexual compatability, being a slut, a nymphomaniac, etc. (I'm not calling girls whores, because that's not true!) I don't know. I'd say that it is definately dependant on the person.
UCFKevin Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 I have always thought that if a women would sleep with me on the first date, then she would sleep with someone else too just as quickly. That's a pretty stupid assumption/generalization. Maybe things just feel right and that's why it happens.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 ANother possibly silly post... question, why do women give sex away so soon/early in the relastionship.. Usually a lack of self-respect. More often than not, pressure from a horny guy. Honestly, I would rather wait for it. I'd respect her a lot more.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin Lack of self respect? Another stupid assumption. C'mon, Kevin. Women who respect themselves don't run around hopping in the sack. It's silly of you to think it's an assumption.
Sparky Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC C'mon, Kevin. Women who respect themselves don't run around hopping in the sack. It's silly of you to think it's an assumption. Actually, it's not. Even though there are girls that sleep with a lot of people, doesn't mean they're lacking self-respect.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Sparky Actually, it's not. Even though there are girls that sleep with a lot of people, doesn't mean they're lacking self-respect. "Why do women give sex away so soon/early in the relastionship?" Wasn't that the question? SOME of them do it because they feel they need to in order to "win" a man. They lack SELF-ESTEEM and feel they can win him over by giving him anything he wants, right away. If that's not an indication of low self-esteem, I don't know what is. I never said they ALL do it for that reason. Women who love and respect themselves usually will not. I never said all. Some women simply have no morals. Some just are flat out pressured to by men with no morals. Maybe it's just a sad sign of society today. Everything's predicated on sex, when it's a known fact those who abstain from sex before marriage tend to stay married, longer. Either way, speaking only for myself, I would not respect a woman that came on to me so soon. And given my faith, I wouldn't allow it.
Sparky Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC "Why do women give sex away so soon/early in the relastionship?" Wasn't that the question? SOME of them do it because they feel they need to in order to "win" a man. They lack SELF-ESTEEM and feel they can win him over by giving him anything he wants, right away. If that's not an indication of low self-esteem, I don't know what is. Women who love and respect themselves usually will not. I never said all. Some women simply have no morals. Some just are flat out pressured to by men with no morals. Maybe it's just a sad sign of society today. Everything's predicated on sex, when it's a known fact those who abstain from sex before marriage tend to stay married, longer. Either way, speaking only for myself, I would not respect a woman that came on to me so soon. And given my faith, I wouldn't allow it. Oh really? And how would you know this? It's funny that you seem to "know this" and yet, you're not a woman.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by allina thats pretty insecure of you
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Sparky Oh really? And how would you know this? It's funny that you seem to "know this" and yet, you're not a woman. Funny, where does it say you had to be a woman to analyze self-esteem issues?
Sparky Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 It doesn't. I'm saying that you sound like you can read people's minds.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Sparky It doesn't. I'm saying that you sound like you can read people's minds. Hardly. I'm giving my opinion. If you don't agree with it, that's fine. I'd like to hear yours.
XNemesisX Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 I'm not sure if I believe its a self-respect issue. I know girls who sleep with many men who have a LOT of self-esteem and are very successful. Then, there are girls with low self-esteem who sleep around a lot. I don't think you can say for sure one way or the other. Everyone is different and to some having sex is not something that makes them feel badly about themselves. There ARE girls out there with just as high of a sex drive as a man. Also, I almost think it could be the opposite. Maybe its the girls with HIGH self-esteem who sleep with many men. They are confident and secure enough in themselves to not give a rat's ass what people will say about them, and they are comfortable enough with their bodies not to feel embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality (or high sex drive). How does that one song go? I don't give a damn about my bad reputation....
ConfusedInOC Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I'm not sure if I believe its a self-respect issue. I know girls who sleep with many men who have a LOT of self-esteem and are very successful. Then, there are girls with low self-esteem who sleep around a lot. I don't think you can say for sure one way or the other. Everyone is different and to some having sex is not something that makes them feel badly about themselves. There ARE girls out there with just as high of a sex drive as a man. Also, I almost think it could be the opposite. Maybe its the girls with HIGH self-esteem who sleep with many men. They are confident and secure enough in themselves to not give a rat's ass what people will say about them, and they are comfortable enough with their bodies not to feel embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality (or high sex drive). How does that one song go? I don't give a damn about my bad reputation.... Maybe so, XNX. I just feel that if you respect yourself, you don't go giving it away quite easily. And while I agree women can have high sex drive too, they aren't driven by the same urge to boink everything like young men are. I tend to lean towards the side of low self-esteem simply because if you value yourself, you certainly don't give of yourself that easily. Anything worth having is usually not easy to attain. Men tend to lean that way when a woman will sleep with them quickly. Much like the thread starter stated: "If she'll sleep with me on the first date, then she would sleep with someone else too just as quickly..." Knowing you can have any guy you want is one thing. That's confidence. Sleeping around with them, I tend to lean on "I need to please others to feel worthy..." theory. Oh well, what do I know? I'm not a girl, right?
UCFKevin Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 And what about the guy? I'm guessing you wouldn't think the guy has any self esteem problems. You'd just give him a high five?
Naive Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 The way I see it is, if you like the guy give him something to long for. I don't necessarily think it's bad to give it up early in a relationship but I do think that the longer you prolong it the best it will be when it finally happens; plus, it gives you time to get to know each other without that animal attraction interfering
moimeme Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 when it's a known fact those who abstain from sex before marriage tend to stay married, longer. Once again staying married longer means nothing. You can be married forty miserable years. The theory is that people who are 'religious' and don't believe in premarital sex also don't believe in divorce and so will stay in marriages even if the marriages are lousy. giving it away How is it the woman is 'giving it away'. She's the recipient after all. She has the garage door and says whether it opens or not. Seems to me she does the taking, not the giving.
XNemesisX Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Well, I agree that sometimes its best to wait it out because sex can f*** it up. And once you start having sex in a relationship, you can't go back to NOT having sex (so it seems). So you open Pandora's Box so to speak. But I don't really understand this conception that girls "give it away fast" because they think it will catch the man. I know plenty of girls (myself included) who have had sex with a guy they would NOT want to date...women can use guys too ya know
ImaManDammit Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Although I completely respect your decision on wanting to wait before you're ready, and that a woman who gives it up so soon is something you don't like or can't accept, you can't generalize or assume things. You just need to focus on, as Celceius stated in another thread, someone who is compatible with your views. I'm in the same boat as you, minus the assumption piece. So for those people who think you're insecure, judgemental, forget them. Lose the generalization and assumption piece, and then they can say all they want. Your views are your views, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with them as long as they don't harm anyone else.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX So you open Pandora's Box so to speak. Delicately put Originally posted by ImaManDammit Your views are your views, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with them as long as they don't harm anyone else. That's just your view - don't impose it on me
blind_otter Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 What is it that Freud said? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Some women have sex because, (wow, just like some men) they LIKE sex! How about this one. I don't get it. Why are guys always giving it up so early in a relationship? Is it because they don't respect themselves?
Author zack121 Posted June 22, 2005 Author Posted June 22, 2005 Geez did'nt mean to touch a nerve UCKEVIN and XNIX! Ok, my ex had been with 30+ guys before she was 27, I asked her about not judging her, just out of curiosity, and she said was looking for love.and 1 time after an argument about something she screamed at me, Your just like the rest somewhere to put your co*K!! I was shocked. that could not have been further from the truth.. So without trying to be GOD, or overgeneralize... My initial post was perhaps, a little hazy, I have a friend that has slept with 100+ women, now happily married, he was the biggest man whore alive.. did I respect him, no. Do I respect girls that will f**k on first dates... no!, I was just hoping to get a better perspective on what people think, and yes your right, ITS MY VIEWS and not everyone else's. I have had discussing with mates, and they feel the same.. so I know its not just me, I think sex should not be used as a commodity. but do not go out of my way to harass people that do. Ok, another stupid thing, is how many guys would like to marry a porn star? any takers? if so why, if not why? I am not trying to say women are porn stars, but you know what I mean..
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