zack121 Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 Looking for a girl insight on this one... I know most guys HATE thinking of there ex's with another guy... (yes its a jealosuy issue). But do females as well? Seems to me most women, don;t really give a damm, as long as they are getting what they need whatever that means, be it sex, emotion connection, future, communication.. I feel that women, really don't think twice about the issue. and am left wondering why?
No Foolin Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 I'm not a chick, however, I have a question for you. Why is this important to you? Unless you ask the person whom you are fu*ked up over you're not going to get a quality answer. You really don't want to know, trust me. She rolled out.....she's doin whoever, no answer will make any sense of it. As if sex make sense. No Foolin
Lonestar Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 If I still care about my ex, the thought of him with another women makes my skin crawl. If I don't care about him at all, it won't matter, although to see him with another woman shortly after the breakup would probably be an ego killer. Does that answer your question?
Author zack121 Posted June 19, 2005 Author Posted June 19, 2005 Originally posted by No Foolin I'm not a chick, however, I have a question for you. Why is this important to you? Unless you ask the person whom you are fu*ked up over you're not going to get a quality answer. You really don't want to know, trust me. She rolled out.....she's doin whoever, no answer will make any sense of it. As if sex make sense. No Foolin No its just a general question, have friends that have been out of a relationship with ex's for a while, seen them with someone and had the same issue. Point taken about if you don;t care about the person though. fair point about asking the person too. Just some female friends said that after they got another guy, it did not bother them, in fact they said they were happy for the EX. might need to go away and think about this soom more. perhaps I was being to general.
sarah12 Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 I agree with the other female poster. If I am over him, I really don't care. And if I'm not over him, then I care more about the emotional connection he has with the other person and his happiness in general in the relationship, than his sexual relationship with her. The sex part - I don't want to picture it, but I usually don't think about it for more than a minute or two.
IrrationalEmotions Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by zack121 No its just a general question, have friends that have been out of a relationship with ex's for a while, seen them with someone and had the same issue. Point taken about if you don;t care about the person though. fair point about asking the person too. Just some female friends said that after they got another guy, it did not bother them, in fact they said they were happy for the EX. might need to go away and think about this soom more. perhaps I was being to general. Just because they say they don't care, doesn't mean that they don't care. Girls say things they don't mean, or say one thing and mean another all of the time. Thats what makes them so confusing.
Kagome1982 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Yes it drives me crazy cuz my Imagination wonders and I picture him with the new person. And it hurts to know maybe he likes her more. Maybe something was wrong with me etc. God it hurts. I can't get mad at the new girl cuz he prob lied to her as well.
miss-gonewest Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Yep I do think twice about the issue... but as the other girls have said, if I still feel for him, or its recent to our breakup, then it hurts like hell knowing he's with someone else. If it was just a fling, or I didn't care about him, then it wouldn't bother me.
Bellona Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 My relationship is barely over and my mind is already concocting scenarios of my soon to be ex with another girl. I'm jealous of girls he knows where he's going, because they're cool with each other, so all I can think about is that he'll forget all about me and will shag her! Sex and emotions, for me, always go hand in hand. Time can dull the pain of thinking about an ex with someone else in that way, but it never completely heals it. It all depends on the connection you had with that person, and how things ended. Because my relationship ended more because of circumstances than anything personal, it sure hurts like hell even contemplating him with someone else. He indicated as much for me being with someone else.
miss-gonewest Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Bellona Sex and emotions, for me, always go hand in hand. Time can dull the pain of thinking about an ex with someone else in that way, but it never completely heals it. It all depends on the connection you had with that person, and how things ended. Agreed Bellona, that's a really good way of putting it.... sex and emotions are one and the same for me. It sure hurts like hell even contemplating him with someone else. He indicated as much for me being with someone else. My ex told me he would be happy for me to start dating again.... what does that tell you? Is he just being brave in saying he doesn't care? Or perhaps he really does not care! Zack - can you expand a little more on the male point of view here? )
Merin Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Well I agree with the other Ladies... IF I cared a lot about the Guy but the relationship ended yeah it would bother me to some degree... IF I wasn't really into the Guy by the time the relationship ended while I wouldn't be like "Yeah! Whoo! Go you, Go you!" when he hooked up with someone else.. it wouldn't bother me that he had. My EXH not only hooked up with another Girl, they actually have a Kid together now.. and it doesn't bother me at all... LOL I think she's probably good for him in some ways and psssshh better her than me that has to put up with him now
Author zack121 Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 Is he just being brave in saying he doesn't care? Or perhaps he really does not care! Zack - can you expand a little more on the male point of view here? ) I can only expand on my point of view.. and I will try and then expand on how I see males in general point of view. I am a male, and my ex dumped me for her ex ex. It bothers me heaps. and I hate the thought of her screwing him, I realise that its natural. but I wondered if she wondered about me screwing other girls. based on something she once said to me. she has had plenty of BF'S and told me that and I quote "you have no idea how good you actually are". (I then had a massive head swell for 10 minutes, but then did not think about it - I do what I can in the moment) but now it plays on my mind! damm aint life ironic hence my initial post. ok to answer MGW's question.. and I assume (whether correctly or not that females are the same), that most of my male friends, don;t care as long as they are getting sex themselves, BUT I have found that some miss the ex's sex becuase of what the ex's used to do, as some of the new females don;t do what the ex's do (hard to explain without being a little explicit and crude) but I am sure you get my drift. With regards to his bravery, or not caring, the only thing I can think of is, perhaps he is being brave, and perhaps he'll miss it if/when she is a better/worst lover, I don;t know your story PLEASE URL ME and I'll look at it to get more info. or perhaps he soes not care, as there seems to be a conception that males don't equate sex with love and that its just a release, whereas the sterotypical female equate sex and love, so based on this IF ITS TRUE (which I doubt) I'd have to argue that he may not in fact care.. again I don't have enough of your info but am willing to offer my take on things. I AM FAR FROM AN EXPERT mind you. it will be 100% spectulation opinion, as I don;t do advice I am not good at it I think that most males will do anything sexually to a female, whereas some females won't do all to a male, hence my frustration as I'm now stuffed, it would be ok, if he did not do some things I did, but all males can and would be willing to do what I do (sorry it sounds preverted) but its an open forum and I am honest with what I say/feel if that does not make sense sorry, but some males DO base things on what a women will do sexually, I have discussed this with friends, but again its a very sterotypical view point and may not be the case in your situation at all.
miss-gonewest Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Zack, thank you so much for your insightful reply.... and the time you put into your explanation - I appreciate it. My ex and I broke up because he wanted to do his own thing. There is no other woman, and he doesn't want one for now - as he said, he can only handle one at a time (and for now that's me - as friends/FWB/lovers I don't know). We too communicated pretty openly about our intimate life and yes, I can see that he may miss that down the track. I guess the difference with women, is that we want men to miss US, and not just us sexually... that's why I wondered if he'd care or not if I dated. I guess from what you're saying is that he'd miss the sex, but not our partnership.... You are in a tough situation - and I am sorry for you... the only advice I can give you is that your ex didn't deserve you and that I can only hope you will soon find someone else to share you life (and skills LOL) with. And yes, if her ex isn't that great in bed, then yes she will probably think about you and will miss what you could do for her....
blackendangel13 Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 I think this depends a lot of the circumstances of the break-up too. One of my exes told me he didn't want to be with anyone else, just needed to fix himself, bla bla bla. When I found out he was with someone else I was crushed, eventhough I had a boyfriend. I know you are NEVER supposed to compare your boyfriend with your ex but sometimes it happends and my ex did things for me and with me that my boyfriend at the time wouldn't do. So I missed his companionship mostly, not just the sex. That boyfriend is now an ex but we still hang out and have sex when I am feeling lonely. It still hurts sometimes because I care about him a lot we just weren't working at the Long Distance thing so we let each other go. If he was to find another girlfriend (which is unlikely) I would be sad at first but happy for him because I know in my heart that we won't work.
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