Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I know this happens all the time but I told this girl I liked her that I have hung out with a few times which might have been to early but I didn't want it to be too late so I told her and she said she didn't feel the same and she doesn't want to loose are friendship. The only thing is when we hangout it's super flirty with hand holding and touching and what not. My question is what should i do? Be her friend? That's going to be really hard.
road Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Tell her you want a girlfriend not a girl friend, you already have friends. 4
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 It depends. If your current ages have the word "teen" in them stick around & continue to flirt. She is trying to in-artfully tell you that she needs to get to know you better before agreeing to go on a date with you. If you are in your 20s or older, she's just not into you but is trying to soften the rejection. 3
Erik30 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Don't know how old you guys are, but never tell a girl you're not (yet) dating that you like her, just show her. Telling her might take away all the excitement, causing her to unconsciously lose interest, or scare her off because she starts to overthink it. 1
Author Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Don't know how old you guys are, but never tell a girl you're not (yet) dating that you like her, just show her. Telling her might take away all the excitement, causing her to unconsciously lose interest, or scare her off because she starts to overthink it. I didn't really tell her i liked her but i said I wanted to hangout as more than just friends. Probably really dumb but it was the only thing I could think of lol. I'm 22 and she is 20.
Author Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 It depends. If your current ages have the word "teen" in them stick around & continue to flirt. She is trying to in-artfully tell you that she needs to get to know you better before agreeing to go on a date with you. If you are in your 20s or older, she's just not into you but is trying to soften the rejection. We are in our 20s and we are already supposed to hangout and I guess I don't mind being her friend. And If something more happens that will be great.
Jabron1 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I'll make a more in-depth reply. I know this happens all the time but I told this girl I liked her that I have hung out with a few times which might have been to early but I didn't want it to be too late so I told her You should have just made a move instead. By going on about your 'feelings' you've made things a lot more serious than they needed to be. That sh*t isn't going to go down well unless a girl is already completely sold on you. Truth is that you bottled out, if you're honest with yourself. and she said she didn't feel the same and she doesn't want to loose are friendship. The only thing is when we hangout it's super flirty with hand holding and touching and what not. Pr*ck-tease. My question is what should i do? Be her friend? That's going to be really hard. Chances are that she doesn't want to be your friend in the way that you would define friendship. She wants to exploit you for attention. If a girl tries to pull any of that crap on me when we're out, and I think she's trying it on, I'll give her 'the talk'. Something like this: 'I don't keep female friends, and I don't want to just be friends. If that's what you want, then I'm getting up and leaving. I'm not going to be angry, but you need to think about what you want.' I suggest you give her 'the talk'. It's a last resort - put up, or shut up. 2
carhill Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 She likes that you like her. It feels good. People like what feels good, especially if it's free. Heh. 2
Author Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 I'll make a more in-depth reply. If a girl tries to pull any of that crap on me when we're out, and I think she's trying it on, I'll give her 'the talk'. Something like this: 'I don't keep female friends, and I don't want to just be friends. If that's what you want, then I'm getting up and leaving. I'm not going to be angry, but you need to think about what you want.' I suggest you give her 'the talk'. It's a last resort - put up, or shut up. I was thinking about saying this to her. But it would have to be the next time we are together.
carhill Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Giving her the talk will also gauge another factor; her skill at skewering you with words. She's been practicing since, well, she was old enough to speak. Hope you've been doing the same. Myself, when encountering hoovers, if I'm not interested in playing with them, I move on. IMO, she's an emotional hoover. Bonus if she's enabled you to fund your 'friendship' interactions. BTDT. They're masterful. I remember meeting my first one when I was about your age. She was 22 and, heh, turned out to be married with a daughter. Easy to laugh about it now. She sucked me right in. Did a lot of guys so I don't feel so bad. Great teacher. Learn buddy. Women are nothing if not great teachers.
smackie9 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 You are just a BF without benefits or her cuddle b&*^%. She has an extreme emotional attachment to you, not a romantic one. She is just using you until she meets some other guy.
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 We are in our 20s and we are already supposed to hangout and I guess I don't mind being her friend. And If something more happens that will be great. Hanging out once or twice to assure her you are a good guy . . . maybe . . if she is slightly immature or doesn't have a great deal of dating experience perhaps you can transition from friend to something more but generally when a grown woman tells you that she wants to be friends she is nicely telling you that she does not find you sexy & she never wants to kiss you. Knowing that think about how much time you really want to give her.
Jabron1 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I was thinking about saying this to her. But it would have to be the next time we are together. I've only resorted to that when I think a girl is sexually attracted to me, but trying to get me jumping through hoops. I had that with a Slovakian girl once that tried playing silly games. It's rare, but does happen. If she really isn't attracted to you, then you need to just walk. Don't ponce about in the freindzone.
Alamo657 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 She likes that you like her. It feels good. People like what feels good, especially if it's free. Heh. QFT , saying of the day
Maxtor Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Never tell a girl you are hanging out, that you like her.
kendahke Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I know this happens all the time but I told this girl I liked her that I have hung out with a few times which might have been to early but I didn't want it to be too late so I told her and she said she didn't feel the same and she doesn't want to loose are friendship. The only thing is when we hangout it's super flirty with hand holding and touching and what not. My question is what should i do? Be her friend? That's going to be really hard. Do you want to be her buddy or her lover? If you're OK being her buddy and letting yourself be used as a placeholder for the guy she really wants as her boyfriend/lover, then yeah, be her friend, but be under no illusions that holding her hand and all the flirty stuff you allow her to use you for is going to get you any closer to being her man. If you want to be her lover, then tell her "no", you don't want to be her friend. You want to be her man and if she doesn't want that, then you're no longer available as her placeholder--and then act like it. 2
Author Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Hanging out once or twice to assure her you are a good guy . . . maybe . . if she is slightly immature or doesn't have a great deal of dating experience perhaps you can transition from friend to something more but generally when a grown woman tells you that she wants to be friends she is nicely telling you that she does not find you sexy & she never wants to kiss you. Knowing that think about how much time you really want to give her. There isn't much time left. We hung out a lot this last weekend and in two weeks she is coming over but after that I don't think I'll see her for a while since she is going on vacation. I don't know. I should just ask her friend what she said.
kendahke Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 We are in our 20s and we are already supposed to hangout and I guess I don't mind being her friend. And If something more happens that will be great. Nothing more is going to happen. That's just it. She's already told you that. Like I said, you are a placeholder for her, not her man. It's really not hard for a woman to decide that she wants a guy for her man. She will act like it: she will not toy and tease with you, unless she's a silly girl who has no appreciation for the feelings of others.
Author Bobrob123 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Do you want to be her buddy or her lover? If you're OK being her buddy and letting yourself be used as a placeholder for the guy she really wants as her boyfriend/lover, then yeah, be her friend, but be under no illusions that holding her hand and all the flirty stuff you allow her to use you for is going to get you any closer to being her man. If you want to be her lover, then tell her "no", you don't want to be her friend. You want to be her man and if she doesn't want that, then you're no longer available as her placeholder--and then act like it. I think I will the next time she is being flirty with me. I can't stand to watch her date some other man. 1
kendahke Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 There isn't much time left. We hung out a lot this last weekend and in two weeks she is coming over but after that I don't think I'll see her for a while since she is going on vacation. I don't know. I should just ask her friend what she said. Leave her friends out of your business. Life is waaaaay simpler that way. You have all the answers you need right now. Vaporize. 1
kendahke Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I think I will the next time she is being flirty with me. I can't stand to watch her date some other man. You should do it before you two hang out. You don't want to place yourself in an embarrassing situation when you don't need to.
Jabron1 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 (edited) There isn't much time left. We hung out a lot this last weekend and in two weeks she is coming over but after that I don't think I'll see her for a while since she is going on vacation. I don't know. I should just ask her friend what she said. So, let's break this down. There's a time limit now too. You're only going to see her one more time (for sure), and that's in two weeks. You didn't dispute the friendzone when she offered it - so in her mind, you're a 'friend'. You've yet to even make a move. Are you two even going out alone together, or is this with a group? I don't think you have a chance in hell of getting laid on that night. If I were you, I wouldn't even be motivated to get showered, shaved, dressed, and onto the date - if that's even what it is. Where exactly is the motivation? It's just not going to happen for you. Sort of pointless, mate. Don't hang out with her in two weeks. Just move on. Edited April 25, 2016 by Jabron1
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 I didn't really tell her i liked her but i said I wanted to hangout as more than just friends. Probably really dumb but it was the only thing I could think of lol. I'm 22 and she is 20. Don't believe those that say, "Don't tell you you like her." This is why communication has been one of the main reasons relationships and marriage fail these days. 1
giblesp Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 We are in our 20s and we are already supposed to hangout and I guess I don't mind being her friend. And If something more happens that will be great. So you'd be hanging out with her just in case. Justin Case, or Mr Scraps From the Table, always comes in second place. He's 'very sweet,' he's a 'nice guy.' But he never gets a girlfriend. Walk away, tell her to contact you if she changes her mind. That really is the only way.
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