tito1501 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 We are a young couple, both 24 years old. We moved to a different country together and started building our life together. We have worked as interns so far and naturally, our main goal now is to get a full time job asap. She is probably going to get a full time job by the end of this month and so far I was not so lucky with my applications. I am extremely (really) happy for her achievement, I even helped her with her CV and cover letters all the time. However, I feel such a fear when I think about the fact that she is going to be financially independent and I will still depend on my father's money for the following months. I am afraid of feeling diminished and that she will meet more attractive guys that have their own money, car, house etc., whilst I am still an intern. I do not know if its related to double-standars but I can't help feeling bad about it. Has anyone here already experienced this or knows how I can tackle this wrong way of thinking ? Thank you !
DreamBigg Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Are you working towards a career of your own? Are you hustling and busting your butt in order to create a career and future for yourself as an individual? If so then you don't have anything to worry about. Accept the fact that your gf is just slightly farther ahead career wise at this point in your lives. I have experience in this area because When I was 3 years into dating my gf, I changed jobs/companies which meant I'd be making less money at first, but long term it would allow me to progress into a very lucrative position. During that transition my gf became a nurse, making $30+ K more than I was making. Did that make her think less of me? Not at all. She could see I was working my tail off and that's something a girl can admire, respect, and be attracted to. Now, I make nearly 3 times as much as she does and our relationship is exactly the same as it was then because we don't consider it a competition. We look at it like "we're a freaking dominant team, killing it in our jobs, and living the dream" haha. Seriously tho, if you're the kind of guy that's threatened by her making more money, then you either need to mature yourself enough to support and be proud of her... Or bust your ass so you can progress your job until you feel worthy again. If you're unemployed, lazy, or not showing any signs about caring where your job goes... Then that's where you'll run into problems. 1
Author tito1501 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Yes, you are actually true. Especially because she is already graduated and I am finishing now my thesis. She is also 1.5 year older than me. Definitely she will not see me as unattractive because of these circumstances. I have to be happy for her and show I am enthusiastic about finding a good job. If I look to myself as an individual, I would never be disappointed for not having found a good job yet, I am still working on my thesis. She has already been unemployed for almost one year. Maybe I was afraid of not having so much money to spend with her as she will not earn way more than me. It is temporary anyway. Thank you! Are you working towards a career of your own? Are you hustling and busting your butt in order to create a career and future for yourself as an individual? If so then you don't have anything to worry about. Accept the fact that your gf is just slightly farther ahead career wise at this point in your lives. I have experience in this area because When I was 3 years into dating my gf, I changed jobs/companies which meant I'd be making less money at first, but long term it would allow me to progress into a very lucrative position. During that transition my gf became a nurse, making $30+ K more than I was making. Did that make her think less of me? Not at all. She could see I was working my tail off and that's something a girl can admire, respect, and be attracted to. Now, I make nearly 3 times as much as she does and our relationship is exactly the same as it was then because we don't consider it a competition. We look at it like "we're a freaking dominant team, killing it in our jobs, and living the dream" haha. Seriously tho, if you're the kind of guy that's threatened by her making more money, then you either need to mature yourself enough to support and be proud of her... Or bust your ass so you can progress your job until you feel worthy again. If you're unemployed, lazy, or not showing any signs about caring where your job goes... Then that's where you'll run into problems.
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 She got a job before you because she has the degree. Things will even out when you graduate.
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