reck Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 hey guys, me and my chick were together for 2 years. towards the end both of us had spent 6 weeks away from each other due to work commitments. before the time apart things were pretty ok albeit a little rocky between us. when we recconected the next few weeks were full of arguments and disagreements. she suggested to take a break and i knew she was just hinting to breakup so i called it that of the moment that we are done. she told me that she had lost the feeling. i was pretty heartbroken. we made bits of awkward small talk in the months following but nothing on a deeper emotional level. I blocked her and her friends of facebook. it generally felt like a messy breakup wit lots of pent up emotions and im sure her friends whom i have now deleted and didn't like this and have been her council of advice. it approaching 5 months now and i can really say for the most part i am over it and no longer feel much heartbreak. sometimes i really want to reach out and see if its worth trying again. i didn't make any contact for the last month. she texted me the other night asking if i wanted to go out for a coffee one evening. i said i didnt have time. she then sent a text the following evening asking to hang out sometime soon. i didnt reply to this one. before this contact, i was kinda doing the chasing a little but she hit me up after i went quiet. these texts could all be innocent. or she's testing the waters and thinking the same thing Since the breakup I have had some casual sex here and there. but i really miss that connection that we had. I had a chick round the other day and it was pretty fun but when she left all I could think about was my ex. there are days when i think it would be a disaster if we reconciled and i could face rejection and waste energy. then there are days that i think if i played my cards right we could get things off the ground again. Its been almost 5 months now and it's likely that she has been with someone inbetween that time. this makes me feel really weird like it's not so special anymore if we were to get back together. even though i have essentially done the same thing it just makes me feel odd thinking about getting back with her knowing that some other guy has probably been with her in that time. has anyone had any experience with this before?
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 It's like a reverse buyer's remorse. You buy something then worry if you could have gotten a better model or price. Here you ended something that wasn't working but now 5 months later it still looks better then the lack of emotional connection & the barren desert modern dating sometimes feels like. You are romanticizing the good times & glossing over the bad while waxing nostalgic. Problem is what you remember isn't reality. So go back to healing from the loss & move forward not backwards in your life. 1
LD1990 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 Here you ended something that wasn't working but now 5 months later it still looks better then the lack of emotional connection & the barren desert modern dating sometimes feels like. You are romanticizing the good times & glossing over the bad while waxing nostalgic. Problem is what you remember isn't reality. Story of my damn dating life since my breakup. Thanks for posting this, it was like a splash of cold water on any nostalgia I was feeling about my previous relationship. reck, I know exactly how you feel regarding if things would be different for you two if you get back together after being with other people. I felt so weird about that too when I was hoping my ex and I could reconcile. I think you should really consider what d0nnivain said and figure out if your reason to attempt a reconciliation is just a lack of success finding someone better than your ex. I'm not of the opinion that a reconciliation couldn't work, but I think there's a lot working against it. You two broke up for a reason, obviously you had some issues that were serious enough to necessitate a breakup. If those issues aren't resolved, you're just dooming yourselves to fall into the same pattern. The fact that you've broken up once and seen other people (at least you have, and likely her as well) is also a recipe for jealousy and hurt feelings if you two were to get back together.
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