drcin Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Hi, I got some good advice and support from this forum earlier so I thought I would post about my recent breakup and possibly getting back together/ Met a girl through tinder, we connected well. It started with casual sex and even though she has some commitment issues she initiated the talk of being exclusive and we got in a relationship. Our relationship was great, we spent a lot of time together and shared everything. communication was good and sex was even better. We loved each other. She said she hasn't loved someone as much as she loved me. Our relationship went on for 5 amazing months,things went bad when I had to leave the country and take an unexpected break for a semester ( I am an international student). This unexpected break was too much for her. She cried over skype and we missed each other a lot. It was affecting her studies so she broke up with me. We didn't talk much after that, I did send her some gifts that I bough for her in my country and a nice note. She messaged me twice after one and 3 months of breakup that she was missing me. But I needed time to heal so I didn't talk much. I have since started to communicate with her(after 4 months of relationship). I told her that I will be back soon. She asked to skype and we talked and I was crushed with what I heard. Since breaking up with me. She hooked up with two guys that she met on tinder. It was a one night thing and just for sex. She did it just weeks after our breakup. Obviously it broke me. What's even worse is that just 3 months after our breakup she started seeing this guy and she hangs out with him and his friends a lot. His friends call her his gf but she told me that according to her they are just dating. They have a lot of sex (She told me couple of times a week). However, the guy doesn't communicate well so she is bored and wants to break up with him now. She told me that all this time she has been thinking about me and missing me. She broke up with me because she didn't want the feeling of me not being there affecting her studies and she did what she did to move on and forget about me but she couldn't. She said sorry for hurting me and even cried and asked if we can try and see if things will work out between us again. She said that it might seem like she doesn't care about me, but she does and misses our amazing relationship.This time apart has made her realize that she wants to be with me. Now, I don't know what to think or do. I understand why she broke up. even though I was going through a hard time in a different country and needed her support. But, She just went out and had hookups and started seeing someone so soon. She rationalizes emotions and I know she doesn't think having sex when we weren't together wasn't that big of a deal. I am from a different culture so it is hard for me to understand this. She said that she knew that we would have this conversation at some point. Didn't she think about how I will feel about this after finding out? It seemed like I put more into the relationship than her, supported her through her stressful exams, patiently convinced her through her commitment issues. Loved her without holding back. I would appreciate your views on this and any suggestions on what I should do ?
LD1990 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Stay away. She has a boyfriend. Number one, it's inappropriate for you to talk about getting together with her when she's with someone else. It's more her fault than yours, but still, bad karma. Number two, if she's talking to you like this while she has a boyfriend, you can bet that she'd do the same in a relationship with you. Trust me, it's not as fun when you're the boyfriend in this scenario, with a girlfriend who's telling another guy about your faults and how she's planning to break up with you.
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 People often break up so that they can see and sleep with other people. She broke up with you, so it is hardly a surprise that she saw and slept with other people. Now she is at a loose end her bf is "boring" her, she decides that maybe she can pick it up with you again, until of course she gets bored...
Jason9 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) Dont wanna generalize, but most of the time they only wanna get back with you for their own gain. Im talking about those people that break up, sleep around and then come back calling. Edited April 24, 2016 by Jason9
Author drcin Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Thanks for your insight guys. Well the guy is not really her boyfriend. She hung out with him because he was nice to her and she could use some company(she has busy schedule of classes and lots of work). She told me she was going to breakup with him anyway and me being in the picture is not the reason. I do feel that she is trying to get back with me to feel better because I was really nice to her. Like I said, It was really good while it lasted and we only broke up because I couldn't return to the country for 6 months( and now I am finally returning). Since she slept around while we were not together, I can't really be mad at her for it. It's just that I am confused whether she really cares about me or not? Her tears and words say that she does. What do you guys think?
LD1990 Posted April 25, 2016 Posted April 25, 2016 If he is "not really her boyfriend," why would she need to break up with him? You can't break up if there is no relationship to break in the first place. Keep in mind that you're probably not getting the whole story here, she can tell you whatever she wants to tell you. But she has told you enough to deduce that this guy is her boyfriend. They hang out and have sex often, all his friends call her his girlfriend, and she wants to break up with him. Sounds like a boyfriend to me. She probably does care about you. But if this is how she treats her boyfriends, that doesn't mean much. She will do the exact same thing to you that she's doing to him right now.
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