misty15 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) Hi everyone, Finally after a year of heart ache i left my BF a couple of months ago due to his porn addiction. He was paying for porn, had porn induced ED could not cum with me but came in 30 seconds I assume with crap he was watching. I feel shattered, not because of leaving him but the toll the porn addiction and his compulsive lying took on me. He lied to me about it till the end. I am really struggling with my body issues, I dont think I am overweight I am 5'4 125lbs fairly curvy not a supermodel body but I have lost weight and plan on loosing more. When we were together he would point out my body flaws like "you need to tone up your thighs" etc and was commenting on other women all the time. What really irked me was he was NOT attractive at all about 5'5", never worked out, didnt take any pride in his appearance not to mention was a liar and an a**hole as i found out but had the biggest ego of any guy i have ever met and expected to get "hot girls" as he called them. What is it with guys like that? Why would he have such a big ego? Was he compensating for his lack of everything else or just completely delusional? Was it the porn? I am scared to get into a relationship again for fear of being hurt like this. I know confidence comes from within but when you've been knocked down by someone so many times its hard to get back up. I was also an anorexic as a teenager so this feels triggering to me. I am starting to get paranoid with thoughts of when i do have sex again I will not want a guy to see my body for fear of him comparing me to a porn star or some perfect body and pointing out my flaws. Sorry for rambling but surely all guys are not like this and I just managed to find an a**hole??? Are all men addicted to porn?? Edited May 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language~T
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 No, they're not. There are some really wonderful guys out there, and I'm sure you'll find one. First: Consider some form of personal counselling. Read some good, recommended self-help books. Don't pick just some new-age nonsense literature, because it sounds like a quick fix remedy. It's probably too good to be true, so research good, reliable easy-to-digest literature (what I mean by that is, don't go for lengthy, wordy 'psycho-babble' tomes written for a 4th year Psychiatric student!) These books might be recommended by a counsellor. Find a group activity doing something you really love. Be it pony-trekking, pot-holing, rambling, climbing, diving, tennis, pottery, art classes, whatever. Just make sure it's a mixed-gender activity, which will give you confidence and camaraderie with the women, and will teach you about nice genuine guys and how to talk to them. (knitting/sewing circles tend to be very single-gender activities....) Your body is lovely. His was gross. You simply permitted yourself to be completely negatively influenced by him. He was a psychological bully and intimidated you by eroding your self-esteem. His attitude towards women was - and is - deplorable. Any woman worth her salt will see him for what he is. Just like you did. You're worth more than this. Don't give away your own control, over to someone who ultimately has meaningless, shallow and degrading attitudes. 1
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