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To contact her again or not? from the ladies


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Posted

I'm looking for some straight up honest answers whether I should contact this girl again, nothing more. I'm having trouble figuring out if she was giving me the "not interested" excuse or not.

 

Met girl off tinder. Talked almost a month before we hung out. Date one, met at a bar and everything seemed great. We talked for a week and went on date

 

Date two, seemed to me like it went well. Constant conversation and she seemed interested. Date ended with a kiss. We talked for a day or two after.

 

Asked her on a third date a week after our second date, she said she was busy with her mom, no follow up plans offered by her. (I would have asked earlier but was gone on a business trip.) it was kind of last minute though which isn't her fault.

 

A day or two after the second date, she would text me out of the blue but she seemed very short and kind of came off uninterested. I brought it up with her and she told me she isn't looking for anything serious because she's extremely busy (and to be fair she really is between her career and volunteering).

 

Between no follow up plans and her acting very distant I threw in the towel. Haven't talked to her in two weeks, but I still think about her.

 

Basically, what it boils down to, should I even try to set up another date with her? She made no attempt to supply follow up plans when she was busy and she was coming off very distant BUT she was still trying to remain in contact which is confusing me. I have no idea where I stand with her and why she still would want to talk to me if she wasn't interested. So do you think I should try one more time?

 

FYI kinda been drinking-sorry if it doesn't make much sense hahaha...* for* the ladies*

Posted

Why don't you believe her when she said she isn't looking for anything serious?

Posted

Woman here.

 

No, don't bother contacting her again. She's not interested. She is keeping touch probably because she likes the attention but that's about it.

 

She told you she doesn't want anything serious anyway. I've never once said that to a guy I actually wanted to see on a regular basis.

 

Sorry OP, throw this one back and keep moving.

Posted

You asked for the ladies reply so i thougt i would say something since the previous ones came from men:cool:

If you felt a very strong connection/attraction to her and from her, why not try again, at least you Can tell her about your insecurity about her interest and talk about it:o

Maybe she is acting the Way she does because she is insecure about you too, after you being on a business trip, i dont know Im just guessing:confused:

When you do all you Can you Will soon realize if she is interested or not, and it Will also be easy'er to let go:confused: or not:love:

Posted

ExpatinItaly is a woman.

 

What's more, I am in full agreement with her.

 

She's being nice, because dropping someone with a thump isn't kind, but it didn't click with her.

You didn't float her boat, no chemistry.

 

It's not going to happen.

 

If she says "she isn't looking for anything serious" it's not because of work, or she's busy volunteering. I work, and I also volunteer. I still have time to see my husband.

What she meant was that she isn't looking for anything serious - with you.

That simple. Really, I'd give up and move on.

  • Like 1
Posted
You asked for the ladies reply so i thougt i would say something since the previous ones came from men:cool:

If you felt a very strong connection/attraction to her and from her, why not try again, at least you Can tell her about your insecurity about her interest and talk about it:o

Maybe she is acting the Way she does because she is insecure about you too, after you being on a business trip, i dont know Im just guessing:confused:

When you do all you Can you Will soon realize if she is interested or not, and it Will also be easy'er to let go:confused: or not:love:

 

I am a woman too (which you somehow missed in my previous post?) and with all due respect, I completely disagree with the above advice.

 

He barely knows this woman. To go running to her telling her about his insecurities isn't going to help after she already told him she doesn't want anything serious. That will make him look desperate. She's not acting like this because she is insecure. Quite the opposite. She was honest and told him not to expect something more.

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Posted

Another vote for let it go.

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Posted

let her go. she might be keeping you around cause she likes the male attention, but she is not interested in anything more. all the stuff she said about 'not looking for serious' and 'career and volunteer makes me busy'....all that **** goes out the door when you meet the right person.

 

also, you only went on two dates with her. you barely know her either. the fact that she is hard-to-get is making you romanticize her. dont do it. move on! don't contact her again, and if she contacts you, you can choose to ignore or use her for female attention if you are into that kind of thing.

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Posted

Thanks for the replies! Guess the beer got to my head haha

Posted

Yup, let it go. Hope you have some dates lined up with someone else.

Posted

When you said "she would text me," I take that to mean you initiated the text and she replied. But if I'm wrong and she initiated the texting, then she at least has some interest, casual though it may be. But if you just contacted her and she was polite and texted back and then shortly after said she's not looking for a serious relationship, I guess she decided you were not right for her.

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