Bettyclare Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 (edited) So there is a man I've known for a couple of years, I know his ex (over a year split up) too Recently it has been clear there are feelings from both of us (I checked with my friend who is anti the idea of us being together as she is scared it will cause massive fall out so she is objective) and he hugs me (not platonically) holds my hand, states into my eyes for far longer than would be normal...basically things have changed majorly between us. Fast forward to this last week. He was quiet early in the week so I spoke to him and found out he is ill just now, probably nothing serious but he said he wasn't himself and he was scared. His ex mentioned it to me a couple of days later and I admitted I knew (he's a friend so not that odd though I'm worried she's said something). This morning he totally blanked me. Didn't look at me, talk to me or acknowledge my presence. He could have not see me but it's not likely I don't think. Anyhow I'm worried what to do...message him and ask him how he is, wait till I see him again and speak to him, wait til (if) he speaks to me again...what? I'm so confused and scared Edited April 23, 2016 by Bettyclare
smudge21 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 You say the feelings are equal, yet now he's ignoring you? Are you sure those feelings are more on your side? If his ex (who left who?) has put her nose in and he's now blanking you because of that, then that pops up a few red flags - the first one being, is he over his ex, or maybe using you to get her attention. Obviously I don't know for definite and can only give my thoughts based on what you've said. However, if you're all friends, then what's the problem in texting/calling him to ask how he is... maybe also drop in that he's been distant. You also have to think about this friend thing - is he worth losing a friend over? Is your friendship that strong if it can fall apart over who dates who? There's a lot to think about here, but just do what's right for you.
Author Bettyclare Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 When I say friends it is more like acquaintances..we are in he same congregation...so it would not be normal to phone either for a chat. I'm not sure he is ignoring me, more that he didn't come over or speak to me the last time we were in the same room. I am aware I may be making too much of that particularly after he told me he wasn't feeling himself and told me intimate details of his health a couple of days before. I did go through the "this is all in my mind" stage but I know when someone treats me differently. This isn't a man I've just met. I have a baseline. That's why it's driving me up the wall
candie13 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 OP, interested men act interested and consistent. While I believe you when you say something happened, whatever did happen was not strong enough for him to ask you out or initiate conversation. I am sorry, OP, there is nothing for you to drive yourself up the wall other than your imagination. Wait for clear confirmation that he is interested. Until then... look around for other men who ask you out or actively seek your presence and contact. Stay grounded !
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