Shanex Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 They rarely call, depend if there's a context when you met her. most of the time a woman is careful with a stranger interested in her out of the blue. It's bold yet too pushy. Your odds are slim but for 49 that say no', 1 will agree to meet up and you may start dating. It happened to me on a beach 8 years ago. The young lady sent her brother to talk to me with a note with her name and phone number ''My sister thinks you're hot and would like to get in touch someday'' what a stud I was, then i guess but I digress. The generic point remains : In 14 years of dating both online and offline, I can think of only a few women who asked me out bluntly, I don't complain about that and if it happened more frequently eh. As sad as it is, us men often have to initiate or ask them out. We like being valued, too. OP didn't read the whole thread, only your first post. Does this story continues ?
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 Katie Girl IS single! lol But seriously, is that what the woman with the bf did? Flirted with you and said she was up for some fun on the side? If so, good for you for turning down ..... Katie Girl is on the market. Katie Girl is waiting for Jesse from Full House to take her to a Beach Boys concert. I was just giving you a scenario... but I've had women who were in relationships, some married, wanting to hook up while the guy wasn't around. I'm so superstitious that I feared if I did that, it would come back to bite me so I never crossed that line.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 They rarely call, depend if there's a context when you met her. most of the time a woman is careful with a stranger interested in her out of the blue. It's bold yet too pushy. Your odds are slim but for 49 that say no', 1 will agree to meet up and you may start dating. It happened to me on a beach 8 years ago. The young lady sent her brother to talk to me with a note with her name and phone number ''My sister thinks you're hot and would like to get in touch someday'' what a stud I was, then i guess but I digress. The generic point remains : In 14 years of dating both online and offline, I can think of only a few women who asked me out bluntly, I don't complain about that and if it happened more frequently eh. As sad as it is, us men often have to initiate or ask them out. We like being valued, too. OP didn't read the whole thread, only your first post. Does this story continues ? You're right man. I know two guys where they approached the women, handed each a note with their info and the women did call them. Both ended up marrying those women. For the most part though, you're right. They don't call. The man has to do the work and honestly, I get sick of it and don't even bother sometimes. The story does kinda continue with one of the women. She never called or texted but she "bumped" into me recently. We didn't talk but she was making her presence felt. Not sure if it's games or not.
Shanex Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Yep the note thing at the beach was a funny memory and I find it way better than a message on POF etc. Ie 'we met at the beach, not on the freaking dating app sitting on the couch watching some show.' I don't know but my take on this is that real life encounters are the best. Again, it's rare but highly appreciated. Good luck with her, or just let her go.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 Yep the note thing at the beach was a funny memory and I find it way better than a message on POF etc. Ie 'we met at the beach, not on the freaking dating app sitting on the couch watching some show.' I don't know but my take on this is that real life encounters are the best. Again, it's rare but highly appreciated. Good luck with her, or just let her go. I gag at the thought of meeting my future wife on OLD or a dating app... I want it to be in aisle 6 of the grocery store or at some charity fundraiser event... in person, love at first sight, doing cartwheels all around her. lol. I can be stubborn... real stubborn. No call or text but put yourself in my path? What's that? I wan to let go but she's still stuck in my head because she keeps coming around.
carhill Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Here's my .02 with a lot of mileage on the tires: Save for MW's, which generally are irrelevant to this discussion, no woman ever called me until we were 'official', meaning dating exclusively, and they were, or appeared to feel, confident that they 'had' me, meaning I met their tests for having eyes only for them. I didn't see that as unusual rather normal for my demographic. It had been that way since dating began in the teen years with, heh, those new pushbutton phones and no more annoyingly eternal 'click, click, click' of the rotary dial wondering if she would answer...... Do women -ever- call? Yeah, some must, somewhere, I'm sure of it. Most call me when they want something. These days it rolls to voice mail. Other things in life to do.
candie13 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Women only call if they want something. Yeah, men too, how annoying !!
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 I would never call a guy in this scenario. Not asking me for my number signifies low interest and I would rather not bother. I guess to me, the main difference between me thinking "he is cute" and actually feeling a strong interest is if he initiates. I mean, asks me out, plans a date, kisses me, plans a next date etc. The more moves I need to make, the less interested I get. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 If she does, great. If she doesn't, I won't be devastated or anything. This is the second time in the last 2 months I've given my number out to women I thought were interested in me. First one never heard from her. I don't expect this one either. Just curious if I should ever bother again to give it out. Am I giving off a vibe that I'm not very interested by doing this? I think a lot of women don't want to be put in the role of pursuer. And please don't start with that nonsense about 'equality.' It's NOT about that. When guys would give me their card or number and told me to call them if I wanted to get together, I always threw the card away. It comes off as arrogant and lazy and for every fool that wanted to sit back and let me call HIM, there were plenty of guys who were more than willing to take the lead and call me. So into the garbage it went. If you want more success, you're better off asking for HER number. If she's hesitant to give it to you, then you can offer your card. JMHO.
Emilia Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 We weren't on a date. It was a group outing but tension was building between us... the other woman came right over, grabbed my phone and put her number in it. I was surprised by that. I wouldn't do that either. A bit desperate.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 I think a lot of women don't want to be put in the role of pursuer. And please don't start with that nonsense about 'equality.' It's NOT about that. When guys would give me their card or number and told me to call them if I wanted to get together, I always threw the card away. It comes off as arrogant and lazy and for every fool that wanted to sit back and let me call HIM, there were plenty of guys who were more than willing to take the lead and call me. So into the garbage it went. If you want more success, you're better off asking for HER number. If she's hesitant to give it to you, then you can offer your card. JMHO. If a guy gives out his card he's arrogant and lazy... but if a guy pursues by asking for her number, calling her and she goes cold on him... what does that make her?
losangelena Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 The first woman a little more complicated but she was young (mid 20s) so I can understand her not calling me or texting me... but this woman early 40's, looked good for her age, really enjoyed the conversation. I thought because of her age, no games here, she would be open to getting in touch with me. Maybe I'm wrong? Wait, you're thinking that because she's in her 40s that she won't play games, yet here you are, purposely giving her your card because a different woman (who has a BF) might see you? Maybe I'm missing something, but do you not consider that playing games as well?
carhill Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 if a guy pursues by asking for her number, calling her and she goes cold on him... what does that make her? Discriminating. Heh. You can fight it or you can learn from it. 1
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 Here's my .02 with a lot of mileage on the tires: Save for MW's, which generally are irrelevant to this discussion, no woman ever called me until we were 'official', meaning dating exclusively, and they were, or appeared to feel, confident that they 'had' me, meaning I met their tests for having eyes only for them. The things men have to do to pass a woman's tests... I wouldn't object to winning a woman over but with the way things are today it's hard to do. If I meet a real pretty woman I assume she is "dating" at least one guy. Pretty women have options and are used to being in control. I hate the idea of wooing a woman who is dating other men. To me it's insulting. She gets to choose? Now that's arrogant.
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 If a guy gives out his card he's arrogant and lazy... but if a guy pursues by asking for her number, calling her and she goes cold on him... **what does that make her? Not interested. 1
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) The things men have to do to pass a woman's tests... I wouldn't object to winning a woman over but with the way things are today it's hard to do. If I meet a real pretty woman I assume she is "dating" at least one guy. Pretty women have options and are used to being in control. I hate the idea of wooing a woman who is dating other men. To me it's insulting. She gets to choose? Now that's arrogant. TS, with respect, stop assuming. Pretty girls struggle just like everyone else. Women in their 40s and above play games too. On the other hand, many younger women DON'T play games. You see a pretty girl, go talk to her, if you like her, ask for her number and call her. Ask her out. If she says no, gives excuses. ... or goes cold ...NEXT. Don't take it personally. Think positively. ...it will serve you well. Edited April 24, 2016 by katiegrl
carhill Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 The things men have to do to pass a woman's tests... I wouldn't object to winning a woman over but with the way things are today it's hard to do. Create value with tests of your own. Discriminatory tests. If a woman calling you is a test, OK, go with that. I tend to not get wound up in testing but it seems socially acceptable to do such things so go with it. If I meet a real pretty woman I assume she is "dating" at least one guy. That's fair and I'll take it further that, around here, any woman, young old pretty ugly is married. Most are. Looks has nothing to do with it. In my age group, the couple women I know who are genuinely single are, well, pretty hot and apparently are tired of dealing with men so simply don't generally call or return calls. That's a choice. If they need their bed warmed on occasion there are plenty of men to choose from and they do. Pretty women have options and are used to being in control. They might, sure, but they're still individuals and anything can happen, including calling you. I hate the idea of wooing a woman who is dating other men. To me it's insulting. She gets to choose? Now that's arrogant. I can see traction for your perspective, and had some of the same feelings decades ago but I decided that riding the bear was preferable to being underneath the bear being eaten by the bear. Essentially creating value that they would call, or take my call, whether they were single, dating, had a boyfriend or were married. At that point it was war and casualties didn't matter to me. No one dies any better for being nice and I was over doing the right thing, by far. I wish you well in your pursuits. The energy and perseverance of youth is an amazing thing. Enjoy it.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 Wait, you're thinking that because she's in her 40s that she won't play games, yet here you are, purposely giving her your card because a different woman (who has a BF) might see you? Maybe I'm missing something, but do you not consider that playing games as well? If she's in her 40's and playing games, then she's got a lot of issues. I wasn't playing games. I didn't want the other to see and get upset.
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 If a guy is doling out his card and asking a woman to call him, whilst he is fawning over some other woman (don't think she wouldn't have noticed) he is most likely a player, so why would she think of calling him? She probably thinks he starts his week with a stack of cards which he doles out to likely candidates, so why would she take that bait, unless she is desperate? This is a shady and lazy method of chatting up women, so blaming "women" in general for not calling is thus laughable. 1
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 If a guy is doling out his card and asking a woman to call him, whilst he is fawning over some other woman (don't think she wouldn't have noticed) he is most likely a player, so why would she think of calling him? She probably thinks he starts his week with a stack of cards which he doles out to likely candidates, so why would she take that bait, unless she is desperate? This is a shady and lazy method of chatting up women, so blaming "women" in general for not calling is thus laughable. I'm not a player. If I were I wouldn't have started this thread. I've done it twice in the last 2 months. Both times not clear cut circumstances. I did not approach both women, talk to them and hand them my card. One woman was through another person... this most recent one I gave her my card after speaking to her for a good solid hour. I did this because there was another woman in the room who I was interested in as well, but this 40 yr old lady I was talking to, we just happened to hit it off. Now to what you wrote, I can see a woman thinking that... and for that reason I will not hand out my card or give out my number unless a woman specifically asks for it and she in return gives me her card or number.
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 And for the record, any person, man or woman, no matter what age, who needs to resort to game-playing to get their needs met, or to get what they want, has ISSUES.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 At that point it was war and casualties didn't matter to me. No one dies any better for being nice and I was over doing the right thing, by far. I wish you well in your pursuits. The energy and perseverance of youth is an amazing thing. Enjoy it. Telling words... doing the right thing may not be the right thing. Everyone for themselves. Do what makes you happy. There are many problems I see out there and two that jump out are entitlement and open wounds. Pretty women have a sense of entitlement. You chase them, and if you're lucky, they might choose you. You have to cater to them and really put yourself out there when they sit back and decide what they want to do. Lots and lots of women have been hurt and carry these open wounds from one guy to the next and in the process endure even more wounds. Just about every woman I've met has been hurt and hasn't gotten over it.
Jabron1 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Mate, you need to learn to number close. You tell her you're busy right now, but you'd like to take her out for drinks. What's your number? etc. And do it all with a sh*t eating grin The things men have to do to pass a woman's tests... I wouldn't object to winning a woman over but with the way things are today it's hard to do. The best way to pass a test, is to not give a sh*t about the test Cultivate options, mate. If I meet a real pretty woman I assume she is "dating" at least one guy. Pretty women have options and are used to being in control. I hate the idea of wooing a woman who is dating other men. To me it's insulting. She gets to choose? Now that's arrogant. Nobodies in control of me. I promise you that . Doesn't matter how good looking they are. I'm the chooser. I'm better than the other guys. No one comes close to me when I'm on form - I really believe that. Start believing in yourself more. 1
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