spiderowl Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 If a guy gave me his business card and asked me to call, no I wouldn't. I would think he was either used to women chasing him and expected them to do so, or clueless. If you want to date a woman, you need to get her number or some way of contacting her and ask her out.
candie13 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 I've had a guy I met give me his business card and told me to call him. I didn't. We met again on several occasions, he always made an effort to come and talk to me and be polite. Always encouraging me to contact him. After some time, I finally did and we ended up dating eachother. The dude was insecure and wanted confirmation of women being interested. It turned out to be a traumatic experience. I tend to agree with the other female posters. Interested men act interested. That is the bottom line for me.
katiegrl Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 I've had a guy I met give me his business card and told me to call him. I didn't. We met again on several occasions, he always made an effort to come and talk to me and be polite. Always encouraging me to contact him. After some time, I finally did and we ended up dating eachother. ----- **The dude was insecure and wanted confirmation of women being interested. It turned out to be a traumatic experience. Yeah, sadly many men, even on this board, feel this way. They justify by blaming gender stereotyping and why should men have to do all the pursuing/chasing, but IMO it's what you posted ^^. How did it turn out to be a traumatic experience? For you or him?
Author truth_seeker Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 Is this gym girl? jmo, but perhaps had she seen you exchange cards, that would have been a good thing. No. It's a local pub. It's a everyone knows everyone's face and name pretty quickly. Maybe...
Author truth_seeker Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 To answer your original question: Depending on the situation, I would be a bit miffed that the guy didn't ask for my number, because I'd figure he wasn't interested enough to get mine. Or I may think he's just after a hook-up, and therefore would only call up if that's what I was interested in as well. To answer your first post: No. Yea, I'm sure if I just asked for her number it would have been a done deal as she was really into me and the chemistry was there in the conversation. I just didn't want the other woman to see us exchanging numbers.
candie13 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Yeah, sadly many men, even on this board, feel this way. They justify by blaming gender stereotyping and why should men have to do all the pursuing/chasing, but IMO it's what you posted ^^. How did it turn out to be a traumatic experience? For you or him? It turned out to be a traumatic experience for both of us, in all fairness. For me, because I react poorly to insecurity - he'd also get jealous and try to pick up fights with me, to get even, when he felt I didn't give him enough attention, in social settings - and to him too, because in the end, I'd allow him to push my buttons and piss me off, so we'd end up having terrible fights. Very very high highs and very low lows. All triggered by his insecurities. I have learnt I can't tolerate this. Plus, not fighting fair is now at the top of my dealbreakers.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 I've had a guy I met give me his business card and told me to call him. I didn't. We met again on several occasions, he always made an effort to come and talk to me and be polite. Always encouraging me to contact him. After some time, I finally did and we ended up dating eachother. The dude was insecure and wanted confirmation of women being interested. It turned out to be a traumatic experience. I tend to agree with the other female posters. Interested men act interested. That is the bottom line for me. I'm not like this guy I'm looking at specific situations. One woman is interested but there is someone else in the picture. So I gave my number out so that when she's done with the guy to call me, text me... the older lady I didn't want this other woman at the pub to see me get her number so I quickly handed her my card when the other woman wasn't looking. This happened to me in the past where this girl I was interested and she was interested in me, we were going at a slow pace because I was friends with her family - for the record we weren't dating, but we were on the verge of dating. One night we're at a bar and this pretty girl approached me. She gave me her number. I took it to be polite but the other girl saw it and she got very upset. It was actually a blessing because she showed me how nasty and vindictive she was and am glad we never dated.
losangelena Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 To answer your first post: No. Yea, I'm sure if I just asked for her number it would have been a done deal as she was really into me and the chemistry was there in the conversation. I just didn't want the other woman to see us exchanging numbers. I understand why you didn't ask for her number (the other woman), but nonetheless, if I had been the woman you'd given the card to, I still would've figured you're not that interested and/or you're only looking to hook up. So no, I probably wouldn't reach out. How long ago was this? 1
candie13 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 I'm not like this guy I'm looking at specific situations. One woman is interested but there is someone else in the picture. So I gave my number out so that when she's done with the guy to call me, text me... the older lady I didn't want this other woman at the pub to see me get her number so I quickly handed her my card when the other woman wasn't looking. This happened to me in the past where this girl I was interested and she was interested in me, we were going at a slow pace because I was friends with her family - for the record we weren't dating, but we were on the verge of dating. One night we're at a bar and this pretty girl approached me. She gave me her number. I took it to be polite but the other girl saw it and she got very upset. It was actually a blessing because she showed me how nasty and vindictive she was and am glad we never dated. I don't know what to say. In all honesty, a gentleman takes his time and makes his date the center of his attention, however short and boring or unpleasant the date may be. See, there's always a possibility of another hotter, younger chick to be around, when you're out with someone. Would you like it, if your date started to give her number around to other men while she was on a date - maybe even a good date, with you? If I were you, this is what I would have done: I would have talked to that woman, asked her is she came to that bar often and said that maybe you'd drop by the next week, at the same day. And excuse myself from the conversation, saying that "my friend" is waiting for me. I'd smile politely and go back to my date. Focus. Be polite. Do not take phone numbers from other women while on a date. Acknowledge to these women that you are not by yourself in that bar (they would see it anyways) and decline their offers, if women want to give you their phone number. If interested, mention another time when you'd be around and had more time to chat and get to know them better. Keeps everyone happy and you win brownie points from all women - including women you're dating or about to date. Smooth. Polite. Clean.
tayriley Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 women get turned on by feeling desired. that's what people mean when they say 'women like to be chased' and 'men like to chase'....by giving her your number but not taking hers, you are doing yourself a disservice because a very small amount of women want to make the first move. don't blame this on women alone. there are A LOT of men out there that do not like a girl be too available because as soon as they realize she is easy to get, they lose ALL INTEREST and put her on the backburner. as a woman, i like to be chased, always. i like the guy to initialize and plan the date. i like to see him take initiative because it makes me feel desired and special. this is the best way to get me to be interested in you. beating around the bush, trying to get me to make the moves...i dont have time for that and would rather move onto a more confident guy. 1
candie13 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 women get turned on by feeling desired. that's what people mean when they say 'women like to be chased' and 'men like to chase'....by giving her your number but not taking hers, you are doing yourself a disservice because a very small amount of women want to make the first move. don't blame this on women alone. there are A LOT of men out there that do not like a girl be too available because as soon as they realize she is easy to get, they lose ALL INTEREST and put her on the backburner. as a woman, i like to be chased, always. i like the guy to initialize and plan the date. i like to see him take initiative because it makes me feel desired and special. this is the best way to get me to be interested in you. beating around the bush, trying to get me to make the moves...i dont have time for that and would rather move onto a more confident guy. true. Plus, if I see a guy who's on a date with another woman and gives me his card telling me to contact him, I'd be extremely suspicious, even if he were nice and polite. I'd expect him to do the exact same thing, if he asks me out on a date, the moment I go to the toilet to powder my nose, if another woman, prettier or hotter might be in the room and giving him attention. Turn off for me, but then, I'm an oldschool sort of a woman. Maybe a younger, more modern chick would be down with that type of behavior, I dunno. 1
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) To answer your first post: No. Yea, I'm sure if I just asked for her number it would have been a done deal as she was really into me and the chemistry was there in the conversation. ----- I just didn't want the other woman to see us exchanging numbers. Why though... she has a boyfriend! I don't get your rational there. It would have shown her you have options and as a single man, you are exercising those options. If she doesn't want you to be single, then she should break up with the boyfriend. And what's the difference between her seeing you give the woman your card and exchanging. Answer: none. Edited April 24, 2016 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 No. She's involved with a guy but unhappy with him. She's looking to move on but wants to make sure there's a new guy lined up before she drops the boyfriend... I prefer to stay active and wait until she's free and clear. Nothing will happen with her. With respect to what you wrote ^^^ .... if you prefer to stay active until she is free, then I see no reason why you couldn't *exchange* numbers with the woman you had just met and hit it off with. Who cares if the woman with the bf saw it, again the girl has a boyfriend. It's like you are closing off options for some girl who has a boyfriend and isn't available. Makes no sense.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 I understand why you didn't ask for her number (the other woman), but nonetheless, if I had been the woman you'd given the card to, I still would've figured you're not that interested and/or you're only looking to hook up. So no, I probably wouldn't reach out. How long ago was this? I was at the pub last weekend.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 I don't know what to say. In all honesty, a gentleman takes his time and makes his date the center of his attention, however short and boring or unpleasant the date may be. See, there's always a possibility of another hotter, younger chick to be around, when you're out with someone. Would you like it, if your date started to give her number around to other men while she was on a date - maybe even a good date, with you? If I were you, this is what I would have done: I would have talked to that woman, asked her is she came to that bar often and said that maybe you'd drop by the next week, at the same day. And excuse myself from the conversation, saying that "my friend" is waiting for me. I'd smile politely and go back to my date. Focus. Be polite. Do not take phone numbers from other women while on a date. Acknowledge to these women that you are not by yourself in that bar (they would see it anyways) and decline their offers, if women want to give you their phone number. If interested, mention another time when you'd be around and had more time to chat and get to know them better. Keeps everyone happy and you win brownie points from all women - including women you're dating or about to date. Smooth. Polite. Clean. We weren't on a date. It was a group outing but tension was building between us... the other woman came right over, grabbed my phone and put her number in it. I was surprised by that.
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 We weren't on a date. It was a group outing but tension was building between us... ---- ****the other woman came right over, grabbed my phone and put her number in it. I was surprised by that. This thread is so confusing. In your original post, you said you gave the woman your card and asked her to call. Or was that the other woman? What am I missing?
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 women get turned on by feeling desired. that's what people mean when they say 'women like to be chased' and 'men like to chase'....by giving her your number but not taking hers, you are doing yourself a disservice because a very small amount of women want to make the first move. don't blame this on women alone. there are A LOT of men out there that do not like a girl be too available because as soon as they realize she is easy to get, they lose ALL INTEREST and put her on the backburner. as a woman, i like to be chased, always. i like the guy to initialize and plan the date. i like to see him take initiative because it makes me feel desired and special. this is the best way to get me to be interested in you. beating around the bush, trying to get me to make the moves...i dont have time for that and would rather move onto a more confident guy. I am confident but also cautious. I can't count the number of times I went for it only to find out after hooking up there's another guy in the picture. There are women who want to constantly upgrade. They have their FWB or steady guy and still on the prowl for something better. You're right, though, women seldom take a man's number and contact him. It's the guy getting the number and making first contact. It would be awesome though if a woman threw the BS out the window and rang up the guy if he gave her his number. Not all of us are players and would like a woman to make the effort sometimes.
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 This thread is so confusing. In your original post, you said you gave the woman your card and asked her to call. Or was that the other woman? What am I missing? lol. You're right about my original post. I gave my card to an older woman. I was responding to someone's post by giving an example about the time this girl came up to me and put her number in my phone. Lets get back to me giving my number out and women not contacting me
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 true. Plus, if I see a guy who's on a date with another woman and gives me his card telling me to contact him, I'd be extremely suspicious, even if he were nice and polite. I'd expect him to do the exact same thing, if he asks me out on a date, the moment I go to the toilet to powder my nose, if another woman, prettier or hotter might be in the room and giving him attention. Turn off for me, but then, I'm an oldschool sort of a woman. Maybe a younger, more modern chick would be down with that type of behavior, I dunno. This is my fault as I went off track putting another experiences out there as an example. I gave my card to an older woman the other night. Years ago I was out with a group and a girl in the group liked me, I liked her, but nothing happened at that point. A girl approached the group and put her number in my phone. It caused a lot of drama. If I were on a actual date, I would dismiss any woman who approached me. I would tell her politely I'm on a date and to respect that. 1
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 I am confident but also cautious. I can't count the number of times I went for it only to find out after hooking up there's another guy in the picture. There are women who want to constantly upgrade. They have their FWB or steady guy and still on the prowl for something better. You're right, though, women seldom take a man's number and contact him. It's the guy getting the number and making first contact. It would be awesome though if a woman threw the BS out the window and rang up the guy if he gave her his number. Not all of us are players and would like a woman to make the effort sometimes. It's not BS. Like the other poster said, women get TURNED ON by feeling desired. If we call, we don't feel desired. We feel like we're chasing you. This is just in the beginning. Once it gets off the ground, then we already feel desired and can reciprocate. 1
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 lol. You're right about my original post. I gave my card to an older woman. I was responding to someone's post by giving an example about the time this girl came up to me and put her number in my phone. Lets get back to me giving my number out and women not contacting me Thanks for clarifying. I was starting to think maybe the woman with the bf put her number in your phone. THAT would have been interesting!
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 It's not BS. Like the other poster said, women get TURNED ON by feeling desired. If we call, we don't feel desired. We feel like we're chasing you. This is just in the beginning. Once it gets off the ground, then we already feel desired and can reciprocate. If I see Katie Girl in a bar and don't know Katie Girl from a hole in the wall, and am attracted to Katie Girl, I will say hi to Katie Girl, talk to Katie Girl, and if we're hitting it off, ask Katie Girl for her number. If I'm talking to Katie Girl and Katie Girl is flirting with me but tells me she has a guy in her life but is game for some fun on the side, I'll tell Katie Girl to give me a call when her guy is no longer her guy. I think that makes sense, no?
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 If I see Katie Girl in a bar and don't know Katie Girl from a hole in the wall, and am attracted to Katie Girl, I will say hi to Katie Girl, talk to Katie Girl, and if we're hitting it off, ask Katie Girl for her number. If I'm talking to Katie Girl and Katie Girl is flirting with me but tells me she has a guy in her life but is game for some fun on the side, I'll tell Katie Girl to give me a call when her guy is no longer her guy. I think that makes sense, no? Yes, that makes sense except Katie Girl would not be flirting and Katie Girl would not be game for fun on the side if Katie Girl had a boyfriend. 3
Author truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2016 Author Posted April 24, 2016 Yes, that makes sense except Katie Girl would not be flirting and Katie Girl would not be game for fun on the side if Katie Girl had a boyfriend. At least Katie Girl understands what I'm trying to say and I don't think Katie Girl is the swinging type... but I do think if Katie Girl were single, Katie Girl would be very open to having a man wooing her over a martini.
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 At least Katie Girl understands what I'm trying to say and I don't think Katie Girl is the swinging type... but I do think if Katie Girl were single, Katie Girl would be very open to having a man wooing her over a martini. Katie Girl IS single! lol But seriously, is that what the woman with the bf did? Flirted with you and said she was up for some fun on the side? If so, good for you for turning down .....
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